PART II - Make a life decision for me
Discussion
AyBee said:
Go for it IMO. It appears to me that you're not happy in your existing role, otherwise you wouldn't be looking. The only other point I'll add, is that you probably need to think about where you go after this - does your job become more London-centric and you need to be here the whole time, will you be able to find a job near home again easily when you decide that's what you want to do, what do you want to be doing in 5-10 years from now and can you get there from your current role?
Not actively looking, these roles have come to me. It would be difficult to find another job near home again, and I have no interest in moving to London, so that would be out of the quetsion.advicedout said:
I think it's a semi regular occurrence at U.S. firms in London. Magic circle can mean 9/10pm finishes regularly but all nighters aren't regular.
Its a frequent occurrence for people who work corporate, I can assure you because I distinctly remember getting royally f
ked off with barely ever seeing my missus until fk knows what time at night when she was in training in that area. From what my Mrs says it happens frequently when they get worked like dogs and she would NEVER go work for a US firm regardless of money.What a way to make a living.
You can't just think of the advantages this single move might bring - but also it's impact on future prospects too.
Will this move make your future prospects even brighter - if so then factor that into the decision.
I have actually taken backwards steps in terms of salary, benefits, company prestige, work life balance because the role filled a gap in my skill set. It paid dividends a few years later.
Will this move make your future prospects even brighter - if so then factor that into the decision.
I have actually taken backwards steps in terms of salary, benefits, company prestige, work life balance because the role filled a gap in my skill set. It paid dividends a few years later.
I am a Solicitor and unless I buy some equity will not be earning as much as you do for the time being.
I don't do this job because of the money - it is a mindset and a way of life. But then i am one of the few who loves resi property work and all that that entails.
I could walk out tomorrow and into another job that would earn me at least what I do here but that would also be a way of life job. A bloody great one that many would pay to do, but still one where the job owns your arse.
I don't and will not have children, but I do 'get' the importance of spending time with them.
In short I think that you should stay where you are for now and review it all in 5 years time. If you have the wander lust then and want to move on you will still be young enough and possibly a little wiser on what you want out of life.
I don't do this job because of the money - it is a mindset and a way of life. But then i am one of the few who loves resi property work and all that that entails.
I could walk out tomorrow and into another job that would earn me at least what I do here but that would also be a way of life job. A bloody great one that many would pay to do, but still one where the job owns your arse.
I don't and will not have children, but I do 'get' the importance of spending time with them.
In short I think that you should stay where you are for now and review it all in 5 years time. If you have the wander lust then and want to move on you will still be young enough and possibly a little wiser on what you want out of life.
I don't have a particular ambition for my career, I just want to maximise earnings whilst being home by 6.00pm each day. As long as I can do that, i'll probably be happy. In any case, as there is such a narrow route of progression for lawyers within the kind of company I work for, and probably in the potential new company, being in the right place in the right time is more important than a carefully thought out career plan.
Is revisiting when your hypothetical youngest starts school an option? You don't get a do-over for that time and I cannot imagine early starts and long days - even only one day a week - is a good fit with caring for a newborn, postpartum missus may need a hand with the toddler too, would you take paternity leave when tiddler shows up - do you get a decent contingency for if the new bub ends up arriving by Caesarean etc.?
My dad only worked really long days/early starts for the later part of my childhood but I remember being woken by the sound of the front door shutting and then being really upset that I'd missed him, so many days in a row.
Money's just money, you're not gonna struggle to meet all of your needs, so it really is just a question of what you want, not need.
So: what do you want? What things mean a good quality of life, for you?
For me it's almost all just family with a sprinkling of basic needs and one or two creature comforts - I lost my daughter many years earlier than we thought she'd go, so while I knew my time with her would be short, it was a lot shorter than we expected, and pretty much literally everything and anything and everybody faded into total insignificance compared to her. I'd have been happy living in the shed if it meant she was safe and content in my arms. So that's kinda redefined quality of life for me: nothing matters as much as time with the kid/s.
My dad only worked really long days/early starts for the later part of my childhood but I remember being woken by the sound of the front door shutting and then being really upset that I'd missed him, so many days in a row.
Money's just money, you're not gonna struggle to meet all of your needs, so it really is just a question of what you want, not need.
So: what do you want? What things mean a good quality of life, for you?
For me it's almost all just family with a sprinkling of basic needs and one or two creature comforts - I lost my daughter many years earlier than we thought she'd go, so while I knew my time with her would be short, it was a lot shorter than we expected, and pretty much literally everything and anything and everybody faded into total insignificance compared to her. I'd have been happy living in the shed if it meant she was safe and content in my arms. So that's kinda redefined quality of life for me: nothing matters as much as time with the kid/s.
Personally I would go for it. You are young enough to correct any major mistakes. The really critical time is from 35 to 45 IMHO as that puts down the foundation for your 50s and that then leads onto retirement and how you will do in retirement will, generally, very much depend on what position you can get yourself into c.15 years before.
Most senior people I worked with would generally try and get into a good role by 50, have the kids through uni and then blat the pension till they reach 60 ish (obviously rules are changing these days).
Most senior people I worked with would generally try and get into a good role by 50, have the kids through uni and then blat the pension till they reach 60 ish (obviously rules are changing these days).
I have been through this- a few times if truth be told. As a solicitor in a fairly specialised area I was offered numerous jobs elsewhere and on two occasions took them. As others have said, it is really down to your level of ambition and the acceptance that if your ambition is high you will have to sacrifice time with your family.
Do I regret taking the roles where I worked very hard and spent a lot of time away from home- around four months a year? Well,sometimes. But i ended my career as a partner in a large multinational firm and earned well into six figures for over a decade, paving the way for an early retirement where I have had a great time. It does not make up for the family time lost but it does give many years of a comfortable life.
If you don't take this job others will come along, but you have to decide whether you go for the cash and the extra hours or whether you go for the work life balance. You will have to choose, and quite soon. You have a few more years before you move out of prime head hunter territory where job offers become rarer. It is sad but true. Do you turn your back on the money or follow it? Not easy but good luck.
Do I regret taking the roles where I worked very hard and spent a lot of time away from home- around four months a year? Well,sometimes. But i ended my career as a partner in a large multinational firm and earned well into six figures for over a decade, paving the way for an early retirement where I have had a great time. It does not make up for the family time lost but it does give many years of a comfortable life.
If you don't take this job others will come along, but you have to decide whether you go for the cash and the extra hours or whether you go for the work life balance. You will have to choose, and quite soon. You have a few more years before you move out of prime head hunter territory where job offers become rarer. It is sad but true. Do you turn your back on the money or follow it? Not easy but good luck.
Apologies to the OP if this causes offence but approaching 30, with a family and earning close to six figures yet on here saying 'make a life decision for me', and for the second time in a couple of months??? I am genuinely dumbfounded that you appear more than capable of earning a salary the majority of the population can only dream of yet at the same time appear unable to wipe your own arse without asking for help and advice on whether to use two sheets or three.
You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
Antony Moxey said:
Apologies to the OP if this causes offence but approaching 30, with a family and earning close to six figures yet on here saying 'make a life decision for me', and for the second time in a couple of months??? I am genuinely dumbfounded that you appear more than capable of earning a salary the majority of the population can only dream of yet at the same time appear unable to wipe your own arse without asking for help and advice on whether to use two sheets or three.
You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
Harsh but true. You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
Antony Moxey said:
Apologies to the OP if this causes offence but approaching 30, with a family and earning close to six figures yet on here saying 'make a life decision for me', and for the second time in a couple of months??? I am genuinely dumbfounded that you appear more than capable of earning a salary the majority of the population can only dream of yet at the same time appear unable to wipe your own arse without asking for help and advice on whether to use two sheets or three.
You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
I thought the same thing.You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
And the current job sounds the better pick for work life balance, unless you have 0 interests or hobbies in life and just sit infront of the tv all night.
OpulentBob said:
Antony Moxey said:
Apologies to the OP if this causes offence but approaching 30, with a family and earning close to six figures yet on here saying 'make a life decision for me', and for the second time in a couple of months??? I am genuinely dumbfounded that you appear more than capable of earning a salary the majority of the population can only dream of yet at the same time appear unable to wipe your own arse without asking for help and advice on whether to use two sheets or three.
You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
Harsh but true. You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
Edited by advicedout on Thursday 25th August 11:37
advicedout said:
OpulentBob said:
Antony Moxey said:
Apologies to the OP if this causes offence but approaching 30, with a family and earning close to six figures yet on here saying 'make a life decision for me', and for the second time in a couple of months??? I am genuinely dumbfounded that you appear more than capable of earning a salary the majority of the population can only dream of yet at the same time appear unable to wipe your own arse without asking for help and advice on whether to use two sheets or three.
You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
Harsh but true. You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
Oh, number of sheets is a non-issue if you pre-fold. The question you need to be asking PH is "front to back" or "back to front", and then "standing or sitting"?
Antony Moxey said:
Apologies to the OP if this causes offence but approaching 30, with a family and earning close to six figures yet on here saying 'make a life decision for me', and for the second time in a couple of months??? I am genuinely dumbfounded that you appear more than capable of earning a salary the majority of the population can only dream of yet at the same time appear unable to wipe your own arse without asking for help and advice on whether to use two sheets or three.
You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
Or maybe he's in the position he's in/earning the money he is because he has the ability and sense to ask people who have been through similar what they did in similar scenarios before making the decision he's about to make. Most of the time, the people you surround yourself with are the same age and therefore have similar experiences so it's sensible IMO to try to get the views of people with more experience, whether that's more experienced people within the company you work for or randoms on the internet.You're the only one who knows your job, offers, lifestyle, family, personality and level of ambition/contentment properly - discuss it with your wife and make your own decisions.
TLandCruiser said:
unless you have 0 interests or hobbies in life and just sit infront of the tv all night.
This is the important bit for me. I wouldn't want to work longer hours than I do now if I can avoid it, because I have so many other things going on in my personal life (and like I said above, I'm single with no kids, so you must be incredibly busy!).Worth a thought, definitely.
Only on PH can someone say this to another poster -
Just for the hard of thinking, one of the great things about discussion forums is that they can offer a vast array of experiences from people who've been in a given situation.
It's a resource, and he's using it as such.
Antony Moxey said:
...yet at the same time appear unable to wipe your own arse without asking for help and advice on whether to use two sheets or three.
Then when the OP responds in kind, someone says this -OpulentBob said:
No need to get touchy about it..
Brilliant! Just for the hard of thinking, one of the great things about discussion forums is that they can offer a vast array of experiences from people who've been in a given situation.
It's a resource, and he's using it as such.
Pulse said:
TLandCruiser said:
unless you have 0 interests or hobbies in life and just sit infront of the tv all night.
This is the important bit for me. I wouldn't want to work longer hours than I do now if I can avoid it, because I have so many other things going on in my personal life (and like I said above, I'm single with no kids, so you must be incredibly busy!).Worth a thought, definitely.
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