Should I sleep outside this evening

[vx220]

I'm awake outside, does that count?

Doing the night-waking supervision of a kids camping trip, quite blowy but not cold. I am a little layered up though...

[glenrobbo]

It's pi55ing down in my garden! It's the badgers I feel sorry for...
Night night insomniacs! Zzzzzzz...

[WinstonWolf]

So, did you end up in the doghouse?

[avinalarf]

WinstonWolf said:

So, did you end up in the doghouse?

I thought he intimated he didn't fancy the barmaid.

[bertie]

What happened?

[K12beano]

This almost held the possibility of Thread Legend Status.

You know the sort, where Mrs OP only finds out with the PH evidence...

"...you came back from the boozer and CONDUCTED A POLL before deciding to [insert diabolical event]..."

[silverthorn2151]

I am particularly impressed that you have 'a snoring room'.

[antspants]

OP has gone very quiet, I think he may have taken option 3 and been dragged off and eaten by badgers.

His wife came outside in the morning to find a half drunk bottle of beer, remains of a kebab, and his left foot.

[944fan]

Man comes home pissed, wife asleep upstairs, asks PH for advice, and no one has suggested pissing in the kettle yet?

I despair. I remember when all this were fields.

[avinalarf]

bertie said:

What happened?

He slept outside and got fecked by a badger.

[anonymous-user]

avinalarf said:

bertie said:

What happened?

He slept outside and got fecked by a badger.

Fecked by a badger in the ASSSSSSSSSSS!

[Nickbrapp]

You pay towards the mortgage and the bed so tell the wife to shut up and fk off if she kicks off. King of your castle and all that

[Tango13]

Tailgater said:

avinalarf said:

bertie said:

What happened?

He slept outside and got fecked by a badger.

Fecked by a badger in the ASSSSSSSSSSS!

If the OP had left some mushrooms laying about or even a snake he could've avoided being on the receiving end of a badger bumming.

[PositronicRay]

Tango13 said:

Tailgater said:

avinalarf said:

bertie said:

What happened?

He slept outside and got fecked by a badger.

Fecked by a badger in the ASSSSSSSSSSS!

If the OP had left some mushrooms laying about or even a snake he could've avoided being on the receiving end of a badger bumming.

I didn't realise this is what badgers did, maybe there just rather shy around this way.

[CaptainSlow]

The best thing to do when coming in pissed and expecting some agro is to slam the front door closed and shout up the stairs "I'm in the mood for some love". Her eyes, mouth and legs will all be closed tight, job done.

[anonymous-user]

PositronicRay said:

Tango13 said:

Tailgater said:

avinalarf said:

bertie said:

What happened?

He slept outside and got fecked by a badger.

Fecked by a badger in the ASSSSSSSSSSS!

If the OP had left some mushrooms laying about or even a snake he could've avoided being on the receiving end of a badger bumming.

I didn't realise this is what badgers did, maybe there just rather shy around this way.

Well its usually badgers who feck them in the ASSSSSSSSSSSS but if it's monkeylegend then it's usually me

[InductionRoar]

antspants said:

OP has gone very quiet, I think he may have taken option 3 and been dragged off and eaten by badgers.

His wife came outside in the morning to find a half drunk bottle of beer, remains of a kebab, and his left foot.

Don't forget the mashed potato. Always a giveaway for badger.

[Cfnteabag]

The last time I had an afternoon/night on the pop I was found by my neighbour asleep on the front garden at about 10 at night. He woke me up to check I was alright (he is navy and I am Army so not that unusual!).

I then tried to sneak round to the back garden to sleep on the trampoline but realised he was now watering the back garden and would spot me if I went to the trampoline so I went in the house.

I should add this was a fully sanctioned drinking session, I have history for getting in a state and drinking isn't a regular thing for me for this reason!

[bertie]

Tailgater said:

PositronicRay said:

Tango13 said:

Tailgater said:

avinalarf said:

bertie said:

What happened?

He slept outside and got fecked by a badger.

Fecked by a badger in the ASSSSSSSSSSS!

If the OP had left some mushrooms laying about or even a snake he could've avoided being on the receiving end of a badger bumming.

I didn't realise this is what badgers did, maybe there just rather shy around this way.

Well its usually badgers who feck them in the ASSSSSSSSSSSS but if it's monkeylegend then it's usually me

Well at least now I know...

[mybrainhurts]

bertie said:

Tailgater said:

PositronicRay said:

Tango13 said:

Tailgater said:

avinalarf said:

bertie said:

What happened?

He slept outside and got fecked by a badger.

Fecked by a badger in the ASSSSSSSSSSS!

If the OP had left some mushrooms laying about or even a snake he could've avoided being on the receiving end of a badger bumming.

I didn't realise this is what badgers did, maybe there just rather shy around this way.

Well its usually badgers who feck them in the ASSSSSSSSSSSS but if it's monkeylegend then it's usually me

Well at least now I know...

Did he squeal like a pig...or enjoy it?