Family coming up to stay for prolonged periods of time?
Discussion
TheBALDpuma said:
I'm going to go against the grain here;
If you're hosting you should be cooking, cleaning and supplying food. Or at least your wife should - they're all pink jobs. If help is offered that's really nice, but it shouldn't be expected. And as for supplying food, if we've got family over we'll try but stuff in they like if we don't usually have it.
Just had my bro and his wife up (hi James), but we ate out ever day which solves a lot of the issues!
There's a difference between inviting guests to come stay, and your "guests" announcing that they're coming to stay.If you're hosting you should be cooking, cleaning and supplying food. Or at least your wife should - they're all pink jobs. If help is offered that's really nice, but it shouldn't be expected. And as for supplying food, if we've got family over we'll try but stuff in they like if we don't usually have it.
Just had my bro and his wife up (hi James), but we ate out ever day which solves a lot of the issues!
The OP sounds like he's in the latter situation, whereas your scenario sounds more like the former.
Friends of ours in Jakarta were holidaying in the UK over Christmas and New Year 2013. They had booked a wonderful 8 bedroom house on the beach near Brighton and with a spare room asked if myself and the wife would like to join them and his family (she is a well off Indonesian).
They refused to let us pay for the room, I'm guessing the house was a couple of K per night.
I turned up with a Methusalah of Moet and a Jeroboam of Belvedere vodka.
Went down a treat
They refused to let us pay for the room, I'm guessing the house was a couple of K per night.
I turned up with a Methusalah of Moet and a Jeroboam of Belvedere vodka.
Went down a treat
TheBALDpuma said:
I'm going to go against the grain here;
If you're hosting you should be cooking, cleaning and supplying food. Or at least your wife should - they're all pink jobs. If help is offered that's really nice, but it shouldn't be expected. And as for supplying food, if we've got family over we'll try but stuff in they like if we don't usually have it.
Just had my bro and his wife up (hi James), but we ate out ever day which solves a lot of the issues!
"Pink jobs"? If you're hosting you should be cooking, cleaning and supplying food. Or at least your wife should - they're all pink jobs. If help is offered that's really nice, but it shouldn't be expected. And as for supplying food, if we've got family over we'll try but stuff in they like if we don't usually have it.
Just had my bro and his wife up (hi James), but we ate out ever day which solves a lot of the issues!
Sadly, there is always one family unit in any family who is like that.
If you're sitting there thinking, "none of our family is like that", then blow the moths out of your wallet, you stinge bag!
Oddly, I'm generally a penny pinching tightwad preferring to shop in Aldi than Waitrose BUT can at the same time be really generous. I regularly take my friends out for meals and offer to pay for the whole group. Sometimes they accept, sometimes they decline. :shrug:
If you're sitting there thinking, "none of our family is like that", then blow the moths out of your wallet, you stinge bag!
Oddly, I'm generally a penny pinching tightwad preferring to shop in Aldi than Waitrose BUT can at the same time be really generous. I regularly take my friends out for meals and offer to pay for the whole group. Sometimes they accept, sometimes they decline. :shrug:
Whilst we don't get people staying; house is too small and immediate family are reasonably local, the wife's brother and sister in law are as tight as a
holes.
For the past few years we've had family BBQ's for the MIL's birthday as it falls in the summer, however we ask that the wife's brother contributes food and drink towards it as it is his mum too; bring what you want to eat or drink and a bit more to cover MIL and any friends she may bring.
They bring the bare minimum, which struggles to feed them and a bottle of cheap wine, whilst we've always gone a bit overkill on food, salad, sides and booze; their cheap sausages and frozen Findus burgers are chomped by their kids and they help themselves to the food and booze that we've supplied.
BIL only drinks lager, I can drink anything and the wife like wine, last year they turned up with a bit of food and nothing to drink, I'd already stocked the fridge with my favourite cider, knowing he wouldn't drink it, all he did was moan and groan all night that he had nothing to drink; there is a shop selling booze 5 minutes walk down the road, he didn't go as they had no money.
We didn't do the BBQ this year; well we did but he wasn't invited as the past two years he has been a tit and ended up causing an argument due his jealousy that some people are doing better than he is.
Families!!
holes. For the past few years we've had family BBQ's for the MIL's birthday as it falls in the summer, however we ask that the wife's brother contributes food and drink towards it as it is his mum too; bring what you want to eat or drink and a bit more to cover MIL and any friends she may bring.
They bring the bare minimum, which struggles to feed them and a bottle of cheap wine, whilst we've always gone a bit overkill on food, salad, sides and booze; their cheap sausages and frozen Findus burgers are chomped by their kids and they help themselves to the food and booze that we've supplied.
BIL only drinks lager, I can drink anything and the wife like wine, last year they turned up with a bit of food and nothing to drink, I'd already stocked the fridge with my favourite cider, knowing he wouldn't drink it, all he did was moan and groan all night that he had nothing to drink; there is a shop selling booze 5 minutes walk down the road, he didn't go as they had no money.
We didn't do the BBQ this year; well we did but he wasn't invited as the past two years he has been a tit and ended up causing an argument due his jealousy that some people are doing better than he is.
Families!!
TheBALDpuma said:
I'm going to go against the grain here;
If you're hosting you should be cooking, cleaning and supplying food. Or at least your wife should - they're all pink jobs. If help is offered that's really nice, but it shouldn't be expected. And as for supplying food, if we've got family over we'll try but stuff in they like if we don't usually have it.
Just had my bro and his wife up (hi James), but we ate out ever day which solves a lot of the issues!
Stone age sIf you're hosting you should be cooking, cleaning and supplying food. Or at least your wife should - they're all pink jobs. If help is offered that's really nice, but it shouldn't be expected. And as for supplying food, if we've got family over we'll try but stuff in they like if we don't usually have it.
Just had my bro and his wife up (hi James), but we ate out ever day which solves a lot of the issues!
t, that is.We just had the Christening at ours yesterday.
Provided food and drink for around 50 guests with the god-parents and my wife's best friend staying over for the weekend, so they got free bed and board for the weekend too. Our staying guests suggested taking us out for dinner as a thank you but I wanted to make them some of our home made pizzas so it seemed daft when we had all the stuff in for that.
If I'm having folk over for the weekend I expect to provide for them and thoroughly enjoy doing so. Some of you lot are too bloody tight
Provided food and drink for around 50 guests with the god-parents and my wife's best friend staying over for the weekend, so they got free bed and board for the weekend too. Our staying guests suggested taking us out for dinner as a thank you but I wanted to make them some of our home made pizzas so it seemed daft when we had all the stuff in for that.
If I'm having folk over for the weekend I expect to provide for them and thoroughly enjoy doing so. Some of you lot are too bloody tight
steveo3002 said:
next time they ask about coming over...no were away all weekend
done
Not done in our house.done
My wife was away with work. They were pissed off for quite literally years that they weren't allowed to stay because they only wanted to use our place as a hotel.
GET A f
kING HOTEL THEN!!They're not that bad generally (although I'm not one for caring if family turn up empty handed and eat all the food) with the one exception of the total lack of discipline for their children.
I will probably get flamed for this but they can't be family, so sack them.
Family does not have to be marriage or blood relatives Family are those around that care for your well being, not contributing to their stay whether its in kind or money indicates they do not care, give them an opportunity to show otherwise ......if they don't contribute.....sack them
And before anyone asks yes I have done this to some members of my family who have caused pain, do I regret it, nope not a bit as I have friends who act more as family than my sacked members ever did.
Family does not have to be marriage or blood relatives Family are those around that care for your well being, not contributing to their stay whether its in kind or money indicates they do not care, give them an opportunity to show otherwise ......if they don't contribute.....sack them
And before anyone asks yes I have done this to some members of my family who have caused pain, do I regret it, nope not a bit as I have friends who act more as family than my sacked members ever did.
I've accepted an invite to a family BBQ this evening. They've said don't bring anything, just yourselves but I was planning to take at least some booze and soft drinks. I'd never even thought about it but obviously I won't be taking un-used stuff home with me.
Is that ok? This thread has got me worried!
Is that ok? This thread has got me worried!
ashleyman said:
I've accepted an invite to a family BBQ this evening. They've said don't bring anything, just yourselves but I was planning to take at least some booze and soft drinks. I'd never even thought about it but obviously I won't be taking un-used stuff home with me.
Is that ok? This thread has got me worried!
I'd take some bevvy along personally, it shows willing and they might not have bought what you like! Is that ok? This thread has got me worried!
I'm more used to a "bring and BBQ" approach to summer garden entertainment. Bring the meat and drinks you're going to consume; a polite salad is optional. The host provides seating and the wood, charcoal or gas.
Having grown up in the Southern Hemisphere, where a BBQ happens VERY often, you'd be bankrupt in a month if you were always paying for the food and drink.
Having grown up in the Southern Hemisphere, where a BBQ happens VERY often, you'd be bankrupt in a month if you were always paying for the food and drink.
FN2TypeR said:
ashleyman said:
I've accepted an invite to a family BBQ this evening. They've said don't bring anything, just yourselves but I was planning to take at least some booze and soft drinks. I'd never even thought about it but obviously I won't be taking un-used stuff home with me.
Is that ok? This thread has got me worried!
I'd take some bevvy along personally, it shows willing and they might not have bought what you like! Is that ok? This thread has got me worried!
I wouldn't like family to do come and stay for ages just cos I can't be arsed with it, but, if we have an event in our house - so that's a dinner, BBQ or anyone's coming to stay for a weekend then everything's on us. We recently had my sons 1st birthday party and due to amount of people coming we had it fully outside catered and bought in all the drinks etc. The nice but people did was help us clean up afterwards and that was a great help. I suppose though that if they were selfish gits they would have just left me to it.
I'm not sure how I'd react to days/weeks of annoying guests though... Generally if family come over to stay the females all do the cooking, all help clean. It's us guys who chill.
I'm not sure how I'd react to days/weeks of annoying guests though... Generally if family come over to stay the females all do the cooking, all help clean. It's us guys who chill.
768 said:
Not done in our house.
My wife was away with work. They were pissed off for quite literally years that they weren't allowed to stay because they only wanted to use our place as a hotel.
GET A fkING HOTEL THEN!!
They're not that bad generally (although I'm not one for caring if family turn up empty handed and eat all the food) with the one exception of the total lack of discipline for their children.
We suffered the same with the in-laws. They insisted on visiting for the first time in 18months to see us and their grandson (we live an incredible 102 miles away). The reason that they were adamant on this one weekend was that they were intending to go to Ascott and wanted to use us as a cheap hotel My wife was away with work. They were pissed off for quite literally years that they weren't allowed to stay because they only wanted to use our place as a hotel.
GET A f
kING HOTEL THEN!!They're not that bad generally (although I'm not one for caring if family turn up empty handed and eat all the food) with the one exception of the total lack of discipline for their children.
On discovering this we informed them we were busy that weekend but the next one was good - they didn't rearrange 
zedstar said:
I wouldn't like family to do come and stay for ages just cos I can't be arsed with it, but, if we have an event in our house - so that's a dinner, BBQ or anyone's coming to stay for a weekend then everything's on us. We recently had my sons 1st birthday party and due to amount of people coming we had it fully outside catered and bought in all the drinks etc. The nice but people did was help us clean up afterwards and that was a great help. I suppose though that if they were selfish gits they would have just left me to it.
I'm not sure how I'd react to days/weeks of annoying guests though... Generally if family come over to stay the females all do the cooking, all help clean. It's us guys who chill.
I'm not sure about your last paragraph, I read it as the females cook and clean and the blokes do sod all. Is that what you're saying or do you mean because the women cook, everyone else cleans? I'm not sure how I'd react to days/weeks of annoying guests though... Generally if family come over to stay the females all do the cooking, all help clean. It's us guys who chill.
Wobbegong said:
We suffered the same with the in-laws. They insisted on visiting for the first time in 18months to see us and their grandson (we live an incredible 102 miles away). The reason that they were adamant on this one weekend was that they were intending to go to Ascott and wanted to use us as a cheap hotel On discovering this we informed them we were busy that weekend but the next one was good - they didn't rearrange
I'm so glad my family aren't like this, cheeky buggers. On discovering this we informed them we were busy that weekend but the next one was good - they didn't rearrange Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff