Anyone post 35 and childless
Discussion
AClownsPocket said:
londonbabe said:
I'm 44, been married, been widowed, never once wanted kids, and when my wife died I was incredibly thankful that I didn't have any.
I pretty much cannot stand children, so I'm unlikely to ever change my mind on that. Luckily my girlfriend is of the same mind, and older than me so it gets less and less likely that one will happen by accident.
Children are just awful, and something a bit wrong seems to happen to otherwise sane people when they become parents too.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but wow, just wow. I'm a 4 month first time Dad and its the best thing I ever did.I pretty much cannot stand children, so I'm unlikely to ever change my mind on that. Luckily my girlfriend is of the same mind, and older than me so it gets less and less likely that one will happen by accident.
Children are just awful, and something a bit wrong seems to happen to otherwise sane people when they become parents too.
In fact, I have strong anxiety attacks when close to kids, to the point where I'd prefer to be in a different building, but it's not possible when it's one of the nephews at the in-laws.
I never wanted kids, I find them pretty irritating really. However I married a girl that I love and who I knew wanted kids so knew that one day it would happen (all being well, it wasn't as straightforward as it might have been in the end)
Anyway we eventually had a baby, and right up until that point I was still unsure about it, but as soon as she was born everything changed. I can't explain how nature can make you love someone as much as your own offspring but something happens!
Still don't like other people's kids much, they're still irritating.
I'm early 40s, not too worried about my age and don't wish that I'd done it sooner-i enjoyed mucking about pre baby too much
Anyway we eventually had a baby, and right up until that point I was still unsure about it, but as soon as she was born everything changed. I can't explain how nature can make you love someone as much as your own offspring but something happens!
Still don't like other people's kids much, they're still irritating.
I'm early 40s, not too worried about my age and don't wish that I'd done it sooner-i enjoyed mucking about pre baby too much
36 and no kids here. What was initially my own decision, as I didn't want kids before 30, was then taken out of my hands 6 years ago further to a medical diagnosis and the resulting treatment.
Not necessarily the worst thing, as I'm still alive I guess, and there is always the option of adoption in the future dependent on how life goes.
Not necessarily the worst thing, as I'm still alive I guess, and there is always the option of adoption in the future dependent on how life goes.
I'm 42, the better half is 35.
From an early age I've never wanted kids, I used to look after my niece a lot when I was younger(18-20) and realised how hard work it is, she was as good as gold to be fair but I never took to it thinking 'I want one of my own'.
I just saw how difficult it was for my sister. Even now,friends with kids just seem knackered all the time, barely seeing their partners due to work and child care, the ones with teenagers are just pulling their hair out with worry about them working and housing.
And, lets face it, the world isn't getting a nicer place to live.
What really annoys me are the ones with kids who always ask when we are having any, as if our life isn't complete without breeding. Sorry, but it is, I take pleasure in doing what I want, when I want,without the pressure of bringing up someone.
We are both paramedics, working shifts, most of our patients are elderly, and we meet lots who have had children, and rarely see them,they only turn up when they die to hoover up anything valuable.
Some people are just happy breeding and bringing up kids , others just like to live a little and have an easier life.
From an early age I've never wanted kids, I used to look after my niece a lot when I was younger(18-20) and realised how hard work it is, she was as good as gold to be fair but I never took to it thinking 'I want one of my own'.
I just saw how difficult it was for my sister. Even now,friends with kids just seem knackered all the time, barely seeing their partners due to work and child care, the ones with teenagers are just pulling their hair out with worry about them working and housing.
And, lets face it, the world isn't getting a nicer place to live.
What really annoys me are the ones with kids who always ask when we are having any, as if our life isn't complete without breeding. Sorry, but it is, I take pleasure in doing what I want, when I want,without the pressure of bringing up someone.
We are both paramedics, working shifts, most of our patients are elderly, and we meet lots who have had children, and rarely see them,they only turn up when they die to hoover up anything valuable.
Some people are just happy breeding and bringing up kids , others just like to live a little and have an easier life.
I prefer the term child free, childless implies I am missing out on something. Which I guess I am, the expense, hassle, stress, worry and responsibility for starters, I know that parents bleat on about love and various other fuzzy feelings of joy that break up the endless moronity and hard graft of raising kids, but I have found you can re-create that exact same feeling by consuming large amounts of chocolate.
I knew from about aged 11 that I never wanted kids, had the snip done in my 30s, after my GP refused to refer me for the snip "as I may change my mind" funny my boss trusted me to make decisions on a multi-million pound project yet I couldn't decide my own fertility. £400 thrown at Marie Stopes had me sorted, my only regret is that I didn't have it done aged 18 as it would have saved a lot of worry.
I knew from about aged 11 that I never wanted kids, had the snip done in my 30s, after my GP refused to refer me for the snip "as I may change my mind" funny my boss trusted me to make decisions on a multi-million pound project yet I couldn't decide my own fertility. £400 thrown at Marie Stopes had me sorted, my only regret is that I didn't have it done aged 18 as it would have saved a lot of worry.
I knew from a young age that I wanted kids.
Got married at 20. Seven years later my wife and I sat down and discussed the subject. Our life was very comfortable, and we almost decided not to bother. I was slightly more keen.
Thank God we took the correct decision.
Two sons, who provided the happiest days of our life.
Got married at 20. Seven years later my wife and I sat down and discussed the subject. Our life was very comfortable, and we almost decided not to bother. I was slightly more keen.
Thank God we took the correct decision.
Two sons, who provided the happiest days of our life.
On our first date 26 years ago the subject of kids came up and I said that I never want them, she sighed a relief and said the same.
We are still married and happy, 22 years married this year.
I am 48, she is 43.
Edit to add I have had the laser, so never means never.
It was more of a risk for her so I did it.
We are still married and happy, 22 years married this year.
I am 48, she is 43.
Edit to add I have had the laser, so never means never.
It was more of a risk for her so I did it.
Edited by Allanv on Monday 19th September 20:08
andy-xr said:
Chris7865677 said:
andy-xr said:
You the guy who's still hung up on the ex from 30 years ago arent you?
What gives?
What gives?
Yes I am. Well remembered
To give you mine, I spent my 20s following jobs and money. They both went a bit to s
t and in hindsight I wasted my time on some of them when I could have been growing friendships and relationships. As a result I had casual relationships until I was probably 32, when I met a girl I was I think, probably in love with. That didnt last, though not for wanting on my side. I was thinking settle down, she was thinking go out and see the world and didnt want to be tied down. I spent a couple of years after that in some kind of abusive relationship hoping that things would get better, but after a while realised it never would and this wasnt the person I'd spend the rest of my life with. After that I met my now wife. We've been married 3 years and expecting our first. I'm late 30s.
I wish in some ways that we'd met earlier in life, say when I was 23/24 but I was a bit of a d
head in my 20s and probably not that ready for what I've got now. Also, she'd have been in her early teens which isnt particularly cool. It's taken me til i was about 35 to find out who I am and what I actually wanted, because I was being blown around by the winds a lot and didnt realise. I think there's some kind of stigma from being in your 40s and doing the school run with early/mid 20's Mums and Dads, but I dont think it's a particularly big issue. It's not one that I'm bothered about anyway. My sister had kids early on, and at the kids parties other parents come along to drop their kid off, and sit around on their phones. There's not many that talk to each other, because it's their kids who know each other. I'm somewhere in the middle, I'd probably be pleasant with other parents, but I'm not really looking for new friends there
Yes I would like to meet someone. I have had a lot of relationships but wouldn't consider kids unless it was absolutely love and not just anyone.
I have got lots of nieces and nephews. All my brothers and sisters have had kids young ish. By 35 they were all finished. My life is very different to theirs. I am somewhat work obsessed. But I now see there is more to life than work. A family is much more important.
This thread is certainly making me feel better and that I am not alone.
londonbabe said:
Children are just awful, and something a bit wrong seems to happen to otherwise sane people when they become parents too.
What a load of cobblers....
How can you say children are awful when you haven't had any?
It's like saying BMW's are crap when you've never driven one.
Sorry about your first wife btw...that's awful.....
ps:- Never say never.
AClownsPocket said:
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but wow, just wow. I'm a 4 month first time Dad and its the best thing I ever did.
You've been doing it for four months - how can you possibly know it's the best thing you ever did? Maybe it will be, maybe it won't. Come back in twenty years time and let us know what you think.
GTIAlex said:
How do people cope in relationships where the male doesn't want children but the female desperately does?
Can see that being the case for me in 10 years time and unless something massive changes in my brain, I can't ever see my opinion changing.
A 'happy accident'. Good luck! Can see that being the case for me in 10 years time and unless something massive changes in my brain, I can't ever see my opinion changing.
BoRED S2upid said:
Never say never us men can still do the business well into old age you would have to find a younger woman though.
Very true. But honestly, they drain the very life-force from you! Bad enough when you're thirty, I can't begin to imagine what it must be like at fifty. 
Wacky Racer said:
londonbabe said:
Children are just awful, and something a bit wrong seems to happen to otherwise sane people when they become parents too.
What a load of cobblers....How can you say children are awful when you haven't had any?
It's like saying BMW's are crap when you've never driven one.
Sorry about your first wife btw...that's awful.....
ps:- Never say never.
I don't like kids, I didn't like kids when I was a kid. It's not that I've never been around them, just that I don't like them.
Wacky Racer said:
What a load of cobblers....
How can you say children are awful when you haven't had any?
It's like saying BMW's are crap when you've never driven one.
Sorry about your first wife btw...that's awful.....
ps:- Never say never.
But buying a BMW even just to try means you are stuck with it until the day you die regardless of whether you like it or not. How can you say children are awful when you haven't had any?
It's like saying BMW's are crap when you've never driven one.
Sorry about your first wife btw...that's awful.....
ps:- Never say never.
And it means you can never buy any other car.
Edited by OwenK on Monday 19th September 20:05
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