If you could turn back your clock where would it be too?
Discussion
It's pretty difficult really, if I'd taken a different career direction, I may have missed out on the current Mrs PR. If I'd tried harder @ 22 with that lovely Welsh girl she may have turned into a pig.
So the one I'll stick my hand up for is the house that I sold in "96". The market didn't seem to be going anywhere the rental covered the mortgage, which the sale only just cleared.
Not life changing, but it wasn't eating anything and would have generated a nice sum, maybe enough for that little bougainvillea covered French holiday home I've hankered after.
So the one I'll stick my hand up for is the house that I sold in "96". The market didn't seem to be going anywhere the rental covered the mortgage, which the sale only just cleared.
Not life changing, but it wasn't eating anything and would have generated a nice sum, maybe enough for that little bougainvillea covered French holiday home I've hankered after.
I honestly don't know where to start. Most major decisions I would have done the opposite looking back, that's why I don't look back!
The two biggest ones are -
2005 - I got offered 4 times my then current salary to go out on the road doing what I was doing, probably been retired by now. Would have been working for a great guy too. As it was I stayed and have been bullied for the last x number of years and am now being made redundant!
2001 - I went to the Dr as I had high blood pressure and the Dr tells me just under 100 for diastolic bp is fine, its not!
There are many many others.....
The two biggest ones are -
2005 - I got offered 4 times my then current salary to go out on the road doing what I was doing, probably been retired by now. Would have been working for a great guy too. As it was I stayed and have been bullied for the last x number of years and am now being made redundant!
2001 - I went to the Dr as I had high blood pressure and the Dr tells me just under 100 for diastolic bp is fine, its not!
There are many many others.....
1st May 96.
Had been set up on blind date, now look back on what feels like 20 wasted years as we bicker and fight through a divorce. Could also say about 2 months later when the first sign of mental showed, but having never really had mental before in a relationship I stupidly thought I could, or at least my love could fix that......
I was wrong.
Funnily enough it's not the money, the arguing, or the sense of loss but the sense of what a f
king waste and what might have alternatively been my life.
FML
Had been set up on blind date, now look back on what feels like 20 wasted years as we bicker and fight through a divorce. Could also say about 2 months later when the first sign of mental showed, but having never really had mental before in a relationship I stupidly thought I could, or at least my love could fix that......
I was wrong.
Funnily enough it's not the money, the arguing, or the sense of loss but the sense of what a f
king waste and what might have alternatively been my life.FML
I wouldn't to be honest. My life is far from perfect and I've had a myriad of cluster fks that would mentally scar a fair few and shame those left, but I've also done a hell of a lot that I remember fondly and looking back my life has made me who I am and that's who I am. So onward we go, lets see what's around the next corner.
ks that would mentally scar a fair few and shame those left, but I've also done a hell of a lot that I remember fondly and looking back my life has made me who I am and that's who I am. So onward we go, lets see what's around the next corner.Joratk said:
To before I met my current girlfriend, so that I could sleep with a lot more girls. She's perfect, really, and I can see myself marrying her, but I can't help but feel like I can't go through life never experiencing someone else in that way again. Cheating is of course out of the question.
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? If you are relatively young (20s) then this is not too much of a surprise. Speaking from someone in their mid-40s who wasted a disproportionate amount of time throughout their 20s chasing (and mostly failing) the wrong women, if you have genuinely met someone whom doesn't so much as tick off every box on your checklist but causes you to rip it into shreds, then you are in need of a hard, cold slap of reality. The idea of casual sex with lots of different women sounds appealing in theory, but be brutally honest with yourself and ask yourself what kind of picture would the actual reality look like? Here's a clue: it doesn't involve waking up with Margot Robbie, but more with a pounding headache, wondering where the f**k you are, and then casually glancing at the person next to you in the bed and trying not to retch. Ok, none of my experiences [20s] were that bad, but they did make me question what I was actually doing when I wasn't enjoying what I was doing.
If I had met someone at that time in my life who made me feel the way that your current girlfriend makes you feel, I really would not be concerning myself with shagging random woman 001. I'm presenting you with another point of view, to avoid the situation where you post again in the thread, wishing that you didn't end your relationship with your ex to explore sleeping with more women.
westberks said:
Funnily enough it's not the money, the arguing, or the sense of loss but the sense of what a fking waste and what might have alternatively been my life.
FML
I can relate to that…king waste and what might have alternatively been my life.FML
For me - New Year’s Eve 2012, why on earth did I think it would be a great idea to go out with someone again when the previous time (18 months prior) was a non-intimate disaster? 2 years of being with someone who was only interested in having someone else pay for her….
Assuming it’s my 18+ adult life, rather than before that as many decisions are made for you. See below….
1995 - Realise my mum has serious issues and needs to get her own way – if need be by nagging to the point of tears of despair through frustration coming down my cheeks.
There’s not that much for me, that I would want to change, as many of the so-called (and assumed at the time) disasters have lead onto better things….. eventually.
westberks said:
Funnily enough it's not the money, the arguing, or the sense of loss but the sense of what a fking waste and what might have alternatively been my life.
Same, i stuck in there for 8 years, and i dont give a fking waste and what might have alternatively been my life.k about all the money etc.. that is gone. Im just massively pissed at the amount of st i have to work through before my life is back on track to what i want it to be.wolf1 said:
I wouldn't to be honest. My life is far from perfect and I've had a myriad of cluster fks that would mentally scar a fair few and shame those left, but I've also done a hell of a lot that I remember fondly and looking back my life has made me who I am and that's who I am. So onward we go, lets see what's around the next corner.
Honestly and truly this.ks that would mentally scar a fair few and shame those left, but I've also done a hell of a lot that I remember fondly and looking back my life has made me who I am and that's who I am. So onward we go, lets see what's around the next corner.I am very happy with who i am and i am only who i am because of what has shaped me. There has been some s
t (nothing as bad as some may have had) and there have been some highs (although there are likely those who have had higher) but all in whilst there are a lot of things i can think about that I could alter i am not sure that it would make me happier.Which feels a really wired thing to type as i sit here wondering just how the f
k i am going to make it all work this week with so much on, my secretary off for an indeterminate number of days without any warning and no cover as the cover is already covering others who are on holiday.Ive had many years of abject misery because of my poor choices, but now I find myself in a good place brought about only because of my issues. If I hadnt had so many problems I wouldnt have ended down the avenue I did and landed in the place Im in now.
If I rewound would I end up in a position as agreeable as Im in now, or would I just have an easier ride to a more middling prize?
If I rewound would I end up in a position as agreeable as Im in now, or would I just have an easier ride to a more middling prize?
foxsasha said:
I wouldn't change anything. Happy with my lot, anything I changed would mean I wouldn't be where I am now.
There are many things I'd change, I'm not exactly "happy" but if I changed them I wouldn't have my son and one on the way.Boring answer but the truth. If I could keep them then I'd probably go back to the first winter season I worked in 2001/2 and make it a permanent move rather than flitting backwards and forwards for a few years then ultimately settling down a mile from where I grew up.
1995 I was buying my first property. Earning good money and peeing most of it up the wall, but needed to move out of parents or share a room with my then 8 yr old brother.
At the time after seeing an mortgage broker to find out what I could borrow it was about £160K. Great so I brought a 2 bed flat for £49K. If I had bought a £180k house at that time in my area it would have been worth at least £750k now. I would now be in a position to sell up and move down to the south coast in a 3 bed semi and go to work just to pay the bills with no mortgage.
At the time after seeing an mortgage broker to find out what I could borrow it was about £160K. Great so I brought a 2 bed flat for £49K. If I had bought a £180k house at that time in my area it would have been worth at least £750k now. I would now be in a position to sell up and move down to the south coast in a 3 bed semi and go to work just to pay the bills with no mortgage.
The obvious point for me would have been to tell my then partner to FRO after she said we should move in together , followed shortly after with a surprise pregnancy (we it was for me anyway!!). That has been the worst mistake of my life but then I had 2 daughters with her and I wouldn't change them for anything. Its been a nightmare dealing with the bh since then.
h since then.I'd go back to the last Christmas before I lost my nan and give her a hug. She died a week or so later and that was the last time I saw her.
I have made bad decisions during my life, finishing with a girlfriend in a not very nice way, not resubmitting my thesis with corrections in time to get my PhD, refusing a low offer on a house immediately before the 2007 housing market crash and it taking a further 2 years to sell.
The thing is - reversing any of these decisions would likely mean sacrificing other things that worked out well as a result - things have turned out pretty good in the end. I wouldn't want to jeopardise what I have now just to reverse a single bad decision.
I have made bad decisions during my life, finishing with a girlfriend in a not very nice way, not resubmitting my thesis with corrections in time to get my PhD, refusing a low offer on a house immediately before the 2007 housing market crash and it taking a further 2 years to sell.
The thing is - reversing any of these decisions would likely mean sacrificing other things that worked out well as a result - things have turned out pretty good in the end. I wouldn't want to jeopardise what I have now just to reverse a single bad decision.
Wouldn't know where to begin, my life is one big fk up anyway but I've pretty much learned to live with the hand I've been dealt so I may as well get on with it.
With some sort of knowledge of the future to be able to impart on my younger self the earliest time would be school/college/Uni years where I'd basically tell myself to not be so shy around girls as they are only other humans after all and try to get it on with some of them. Look back now and feel that I really missed out on a spell in my life where I might have been able to have lots of casual sex
After that was not buying a flat I was renting that the landlord had offered to me at what would now seem like a stupidly low price (about the same as what I paid for my current car!). I just moved on as I was a bit fed up of living there anyway but a few years later the market went silly and it was suddenly quite difficult for me to get on the housing ladder. The flats in question now sell for nearly four times the amount it was offered to me for.
Final one would be deciding to move in with my girlfriend (who's now my wife!), as I said it is what it is but if I could do it all over again I think I'd take the other path
k up anyway but I've pretty much learned to live with the hand I've been dealt so I may as well get on with it.With some sort of knowledge of the future to be able to impart on my younger self the earliest time would be school/college/Uni years where I'd basically tell myself to not be so shy around girls as they are only other humans after all and try to get it on with some of them. Look back now and feel that I really missed out on a spell in my life where I might have been able to have lots of casual sex
After that was not buying a flat I was renting that the landlord had offered to me at what would now seem like a stupidly low price (about the same as what I paid for my current car!). I just moved on as I was a bit fed up of living there anyway but a few years later the market went silly and it was suddenly quite difficult for me to get on the housing ladder. The flats in question now sell for nearly four times the amount it was offered to me for.
Final one would be deciding to move in with my girlfriend (who's now my wife!), as I said it is what it is but if I could do it all over again I think I'd take the other path
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