Am I an ungrateful child?
Discussion
Had a phone call from my mother today to remind me she is still alive and tell me how her health is and all her hospital appointments. Now we are in the middle of doing up our place in France and I haven't called her for a month. It might have only been 7 minutes while I was in the middle of fixing a hole in a plasterboard wall with the plaster sitting in a bucket going hard, but if she was so desperate to talk to me she could just call instead of trying to shame me into calling her.
She sits around all day long moaning that she is bored and getting my dad to do everything, and wonders why people don't want to associate with her. She knows we are busy as she can see all the work we are doing going up on Facebook. If I had nothing better to do and wanted to reflect on how good my life is I would call regularly to be depressed by her! Sapped the life out of me after what was a good days work.
Before anyone shouts that I should be grateful of what she has done for me in the past, I have children grown up who I am grateful to speak to when they have time and the inclination, I do not expect them to stop everything for me and call just to acknowledge my existence.
Rant over, no swearing 0/10!
TLDR
Mrs Bucket called and ruined my day.
She sits around all day long moaning that she is bored and getting my dad to do everything, and wonders why people don't want to associate with her. She knows we are busy as she can see all the work we are doing going up on Facebook. If I had nothing better to do and wanted to reflect on how good my life is I would call regularly to be depressed by her! Sapped the life out of me after what was a good days work.
Before anyone shouts that I should be grateful of what she has done for me in the past, I have children grown up who I am grateful to speak to when they have time and the inclination, I do not expect them to stop everything for me and call just to acknowledge my existence.
Rant over, no swearing 0/10!
TLDR
Mrs Bucket called and ruined my day.
I know nothing of your situation, the history between you both, or your mothers health other than by making some assumptions based on your post, but...
Hospital appointments. A month or more between calls. What if she isn't well? Let's say she has a year (again, I have no idea, just plucking a figure out the air). But if she has, do you want to talk to or see her 12 times or 365 times? Or is the holiday home more important?
Hospital appointments. A month or more between calls. What if she isn't well? Let's say she has a year (again, I have no idea, just plucking a figure out the air). But if she has, do you want to talk to or see her 12 times or 365 times? Or is the holiday home more important?
Difficult one. It depends how you get on with her.
Some people hate their mother, and/or father, for whatever reason.
Some parents hate their children.
However, surely a five minute chat once a week isn't a lot to ask for, regarding your plastering you could have explained, and rung her back at a more convenient time.
You'll be sorry when she's gone. (Probably)
Some people hate their mother, and/or father, for whatever reason.
Some parents hate their children.
However, surely a five minute chat once a week isn't a lot to ask for, regarding your plastering you could have explained, and rung her back at a more convenient time.
You'll be sorry when she's gone. (Probably)
UpTheIron said:
I know nothing of your situation, the history between you both, or your mothers health other than by making some assumptions based on your post, but...
Hospital appointments. A month or more between calls. What if she isn't well? Let's say she has a year (again, I have no idea, just plucking a figure out the air). But if she has, do you want to talk to or see her 12 times or 365 times? Or is the holiday home more important?
To fill in some gaps, she is heading in for a hip replacement and apart from that she is healthy. We have completely different outlooks on life where I go chasing things in a positive manner and she waits for it to come to her and is generally negative. Not a holiday home but where we live and are renovating. Hospital appointments. A month or more between calls. What if she isn't well? Let's say she has a year (again, I have no idea, just plucking a figure out the air). But if she has, do you want to talk to or see her 12 times or 365 times? Or is the holiday home more important?
You sound incredibly selfish. All about you and what you want to do.
I have one really big regret hanging over me - I generally spoke to my mum once or twice a week (we lived 240 miles apart) - but a few years ago I left it a little longer between calls - maybe 2 weeks. Then I called and called every day for 5 days, before getting a call from a police officer to tell me she'd been found dead in the summerhouse in her garden. She'd hanged herself. There's rarely a week goes by that I don't kick myself for breaking from my usual calling schedule. It may not have made any difference, as it seems she'd taken the decision to end things - but it leaves an unanswered question in my life.
In summary - speak to her, because when she's gone you'll wish you'd spoken more.
I have one really big regret hanging over me - I generally spoke to my mum once or twice a week (we lived 240 miles apart) - but a few years ago I left it a little longer between calls - maybe 2 weeks. Then I called and called every day for 5 days, before getting a call from a police officer to tell me she'd been found dead in the summerhouse in her garden. She'd hanged herself. There's rarely a week goes by that I don't kick myself for breaking from my usual calling schedule. It may not have made any difference, as it seems she'd taken the decision to end things - but it leaves an unanswered question in my life.
In summary - speak to her, because when she's gone you'll wish you'd spoken more.
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