Am I an ungrateful child?

Am I an ungrateful child?

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Discussion

Neilsfirst

Original Poster:

567 posts

156 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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Had a phone call from my mother today to remind me she is still alive and tell me how her health is and all her hospital appointments. Now we are in the middle of doing up our place in France and I haven't called her for a month. It might have only been 7 minutes while I was in the middle of fixing a hole in a plasterboard wall with the plaster sitting in a bucket going hard, but if she was so desperate to talk to me she could just call instead of trying to shame me into calling her.

She sits around all day long moaning that she is bored and getting my dad to do everything, and wonders why people don't want to associate with her. She knows we are busy as she can see all the work we are doing going up on Facebook. If I had nothing better to do and wanted to reflect on how good my life is I would call regularly to be depressed by her! Sapped the life out of me after what was a good days work.

Before anyone shouts that I should be grateful of what she has done for me in the past, I have children grown up who I am grateful to speak to when they have time and the inclination, I do not expect them to stop everything for me and call just to acknowledge my existence.

Rant over, no swearing 0/10!

TLDR

Mrs Bucket called and ruined my day.

fttm

3,666 posts

134 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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Are you sure you're an adult ?

Sheets Tabuer

18,898 posts

214 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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Neilsfirst said:
I do not expect them to stop everything for me and call just to acknowledge my existence.
Yeah tell the old bird to bugger off.

HustleRussell

24,602 posts

159 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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I don't remember ever going a month without talking to my mum, but if I had I'd have been ecstatic to hear from her- even if she was mostly griping about ailments.

Neilsfirst

Original Poster:

567 posts

156 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
quotequote all
fttm said:
Are you sure you're an adult ?
I had assumed so until I read your post. I shall re-evaluate my definition and decide later.

bitchstewie

50,781 posts

209 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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Tbh you sound about ten.

Mine drives me mad but you only get one and you'll miss her when she's gone.

MX5_Nuts

1,487 posts

106 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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When she kills over you'd wished you phoned her more...

UpTheIron

3,992 posts

267 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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I know nothing of your situation, the history between you both, or your mothers health other than by making some assumptions based on your post, but...

Hospital appointments. A month or more between calls. What if she isn't well? Let's say she has a year (again, I have no idea, just plucking a figure out the air). But if she has, do you want to talk to or see her 12 times or 365 times? Or is the holiday home more important?

Wacky Racer

38,099 posts

246 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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Difficult one. It depends how you get on with her.

Some people hate their mother, and/or father, for whatever reason.

Some parents hate their children.

However, surely a five minute chat once a week isn't a lot to ask for, regarding your plastering you could have explained, and rung her back at a more convenient time.

You'll be sorry when she's gone. (Probably)

jas xjr

11,309 posts

238 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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if it was my mum , she would probably be doing the plastering . smile

even as a pensioner she was better at finishing plaster than me. having said that i do not get on too well with my dad , we are too similar .

UpTheIron

3,992 posts

267 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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bhstewie said:
Mine drives me mad but you only get one and you'll miss her when she's gone.
From bitter experience, I concur on both points!

Neilsfirst

Original Poster:

567 posts

156 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
quotequote all
UpTheIron said:
I know nothing of your situation, the history between you both, or your mothers health other than by making some assumptions based on your post, but...

Hospital appointments. A month or more between calls. What if she isn't well? Let's say she has a year (again, I have no idea, just plucking a figure out the air). But if she has, do you want to talk to or see her 12 times or 365 times? Or is the holiday home more important?
To fill in some gaps, she is heading in for a hip replacement and apart from that she is healthy. We have completely different outlooks on life where I go chasing things in a positive manner and she waits for it to come to her and is generally negative. Not a holiday home but where we live and are renovating.

anonymous-user

53 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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UpTheIron said:
bhstewie said:
Mine drives me mad but you only get one and you'll miss her when she's gone.
From bitter experience, I concur on both points!
Way to make the OP feel bad, he was depressed at first, now he'll be in tears. hehe

Neilsfirst

Original Poster:

567 posts

156 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
quotequote all
el stovey said:
Way to make the OP feel bad, he was depressed at first, now he'll be in tears. hehe
I'll pull through and may be a better person for it after reading all these responses.

mgtony

4,014 posts

189 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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el stovey said:
Way to make the OP feel bad, he was depressed at first, now he'll be in tears. hehe
Tell him to get back to the plastering, it might help with the mother son bonding!

getmecoat

Alex_225

6,234 posts

200 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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May sound a bit sad but I usually have a chat with my mum even if it's 5-10 minutes every single day.

So assuming you actually get along with your parents, I don't think it's a lot to expect a phone call even if it's once a week for a catch up.

21TonyK

11,494 posts

208 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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I sounds like your relationship with your Mum isn't the greatest. My only advice would be to try to improve it.

As already said, when she isn't there to call and harass you, you will regret it.

moleamol

15,887 posts

262 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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Did you ever think it might be an idea to cheer her up by speaking to her once in a while? Not wanting to speak to your mother because she might make you get a little sulky on is pretty poor.

Trabi601

4,865 posts

94 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
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You sound incredibly selfish. All about you and what you want to do.

I have one really big regret hanging over me - I generally spoke to my mum once or twice a week (we lived 240 miles apart) - but a few years ago I left it a little longer between calls - maybe 2 weeks. Then I called and called every day for 5 days, before getting a call from a police officer to tell me she'd been found dead in the summerhouse in her garden. She'd hanged herself. There's rarely a week goes by that I don't kick myself for breaking from my usual calling schedule. It may not have made any difference, as it seems she'd taken the decision to end things - but it leaves an unanswered question in my life.

In summary - speak to her, because when she's gone you'll wish you'd spoken more.

Neilsfirst

Original Poster:

567 posts

156 months

Thursday 29th September 2016
quotequote all
I have tried to improve it in the past and regularly called and listened every time when she moans about something, but as time goes by she is getting worse and I am getting less tolerant I suppose.