Living it up in the Third World.

[DonkeyApple]

King Herald said:

Ayahuasca said:

I have lived expat in a third world country for the last 8 years......

To be honest, I feel safer in most 3rd world cities than I do in the western 'civilised' ones. Apparently the Philippines is supposed to be one of the most dishonest, dangerous countries to hang out in, but I've not been beaten, stabbed, mugged or attached in the 15 + years I have been here.

I've had my pocket picked two times, but only lost some small cash, because carrying an iPhone, wallet, cards and house keys is not advisable when you are going out on an all night bender down the gogo strip.........

My stamping grounds: www.balibago.com

'The central nightlife scene of Balibago, Fields Avenue features hundreds of girl orientated clubs and bars in the traditional walking street as well as restaurants, hotels and western style nightclubs. Despite the closing of Clark Air Base, the area continues thrive and host thousands of foreign tourists arriving on a daily basis.

Balibago can only be described as an area dedicated to alcohol and sexy young women. Home to thousands of available women from around the Philippines Islands, Fields Avenue offers a party atmosphere like no other. In a city that never sleeps, these women are desperate to show you a good time and are known for their love of recreational sex.

Praised for their tolerance to western culture, these girls are hungry to meet you regardless of your age, weight, physical appearance, interpersonal skills, wealth or social class. Spend quality time with these fine young women in a bar scene that never closes and offers an all-round cheap nightlife experience.'

And you say that your wife wants to return to Blighty?

Any way, don't panic the way they describe Firlds Avenue they could be talking about Derby.

[Shnozz]

And there was me thinking that a lot of these sort of places were seedy.

My mind has been put at rest.

I think I will stick to the plan of retiring in Europe.

[DonkeyApple]

Shnozz said:

And there was me thinking that a lot of these sort of places were seedy.

My mind has been put at rest.

I think I will stick to the plan of retiring in Europe.

Plenty of places in Europe just as filthy. Just a lot more expensive.

Filth is only ever just around the corner wherever you are on the planet. Only the price is different.

Except in Derby where it's serious, proper filth for the cost of a tray of chips from the kebab van.

[RC1807]

DonkeyApple said:

Plenty of places in Europe just as filthy. Just a lot more expensive.

Filth is only ever just around the corner wherever you are on the planet. Only the price is different.

Except in Derby where it's serious, proper filth for the cost of a tray of chips from the kebab van.

[glenrobbo]

DonkeyApple said:

Plenty of places in Europe just as filthy. Just a lot more expensive.

Filth is only ever just around the corner wherever you are on the planet. Only the price is different.

Except in Derby where it's serious, proper filth for the cost of a tray of chips from the kebab van.

DA, Are you on a backhander from 'visitderby.com' for promoting the vibrant tourist attractions of that underrated city?

[DonkeyApple]

glenrobbo said:

DA, Are you on a backhander from 'visitderby.com' for promoting the vibrant tourist attractions of that underrated city?

To be honest, I'm just still reeling from a night out in Derby about 12 years ago where within about 5 minutes of checking in to the nice hotel and going to the bar on a Friday night (Alton Towers trip) I'd been offered access all areas by a girl who had simultaneously claimed she was a virgin, said she had a kid and said she'd only ever taken it in the dunghoop. And then the evening became less classy as we ventured out into the wild, culminating in terrifying propositions at a town centre kebab van.

Until that night I thought turning up at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas during spring break, sporting a public school accent was an experience, along with Wan Chai in HK but nothing prepares you for the horrors, the horrors of Derby!

I doubt any other culture could get so many humans stacked behind a Biffa bin at the same time.

Edited by DonkeyApple on Thursday 27th October 15:23

[Uncle John]

DonkeyApple said:

glenrobbo said:

DA, Are you on a backhander from 'visitderby.com' for promoting the vibrant tourist attractions of that underrated city?

To be honest, I'm just still reeling from a night out in Derby about 12 years ago where within about 5 minutes of checking in to the nice hotel and going to the bar on a Friday night (Alton Towers trip) I'd been offered access all areas by a girl who had simultaneously claimed she was a virgin, said she had a kid and said she'd only ever taken it in the dunghoop. And then the evening became less classy as we ventured out into the wild, culminating in terrifying proportions at a town centre kebab van.

Until that night I thought turning up at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas during spring break, sporting a public school accent was an experience, along with Wan Chai in HK but nothing prepares you for the horrors, the horrors of Derby!

I doubt any other culture could get so many humans stacked behind a Biffa bin at the same time.

HA HA! Just spat tea at the keyboard.

DA - you are a modern day poet!

[ascayman]

DonkeyApple said:

To be honest, I'm just still reeling from a night out in Derby about 12 years ago where within about 5 minutes of checking in to the nice hotel and going to the bar on a Friday night (Alton Towers trip) I'd been offered access all areas by a girl who had simultaneously claimed she was a virgin, said she had a kid and said she'd only ever taken it in the dunghoop. And then the evening became less classy as we ventured out into the wild, culminating in terrifying propositions at a town centre kebab van.

Until that night I thought turning up at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas during spring break, sporting a public school accent was an experience, along with Wan Chai in HK but nothing prepares you for the horrors, the horrors of Derby!

I doubt any other culture could get so many humans stacked behind a Biffa bin at the same time.

Edited by DonkeyApple on Thursday 27th October 15:23

[All that jazz]

DonkeyApple said:

dunghoop.

[eldar]

DonkeyApple said:

To be honest, I'm just still reeling from a night out in Derby about 12 years ago where within about 5 minutes of checking in to the nice hotel and going to the bar on a Friday night (Alton Towers trip) I'd been offered access all areas by a girl who had simultaneously claimed she was a virgin, said she had a kid and said she'd only ever taken it in the dunghoop. And then the evening became less classy as we ventured out into the wild, culminating in terrifying propositions at a town centre kebab van.

Until that night I thought turning up at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas during spring break, sporting a public school accent was an experience, along with Wan Chai in HK but nothing prepares you for the horrors, the horrors of Derby!

I doubt any other culture could get so many humans stacked behind a Biffa bin at the same time.

Edited by DonkeyApple on Thursday 27th October 15:23

It sounds to me as if you have, entirely sensibly, never been to Whitehaven. It makes Derby sound like paradise.

[ApOrbital]

[Tonsko]

Or indeed Batley.

[Jakarta]

jdw100 said:

Yeah, what a great idea!

I'll be in Bali on the 5th Jan for 5 nights for a short break from Jakarta. If you're around Nusa Dua, we can discuss the merits of your decision to own a Scoopy vs a Mio. Staying at the Sofitel but I suspect we'll be popping into Seminyak for some food at some stage. If I can stop her trying to make me take her to random babi guling holes in the wall all the sodding time.

[jdw100]

Jakarta said:

I'll be in Bali on the 5th Jan for 5 nights for a short break from Jakarta. If you're around Nusa Dua, we can discuss the merits of your decision to own a Scoopy vs a Mio. Staying at the Sofitel but I suspect we'll be popping into Seminyak for some food at some stage. If I can stop her trying to make me take her to random babi guling holes in the wall all the sodding time.

Flying back from UK on the 7th Jan. We are taking 5 weeks there over Christmas, thought I'd check out the post-Brexit apocalyptic landscape.....

We live in Ungasan but are often in Seminyak, beers could well be an option. I'm a big fan of Babi guling!

[jdw100]

pork911 said:

An expat sneering at other expats and local men, how very novel

Just repeating what women here have told me. Personally I have met few locals I didn't like

I was out on Saturday night with a crowd of people. One of wife's friends has about three business streams on the go - very entrepreneurial- but was bemoaning her singledom. I suggested finding a nice local guy and got rolling of eyes and the view she wants a partner in life not someone who she has to cook for and has no aspirations to travel..etc...etc...

I'm not sneering - it's the way it is in quite a few countries out here. Have a Google as to why western guys are so popular in Japan.

[lemmingjames]

jdw100 said:

Just repeating what women here have told me. Personally I have met few locals I didn't like

I was out on Saturday night with a crowd of people. One of wife's friends has about three business streams on the go - very entrepreneurial- but was bemoaning her singledom. I suggested finding a nice local guy and got rolling of eyes and the view she wants a partner in life not someone who she has to cook for and has no aspirations to travel..etc...etc...

I'm not sneering - it's the way it is in quite a few countries out here. Have a Google as to why western guys are so popular in Japan.

Bigger willies than Oriental Men?

[King Herald]

SlackBladder said:

I'll be there early December, if you fancy a SMB or 6.

We are leaving early January, if all goes according to plan, but I'll be here for a pre-Xmas practise beer when you arrive.

[King Herald]

DonkeyApple said:

Any way, don't panic the way they describe Fields Avenue they could be talking about Derby.

Until you actually look at the size and shape of the women....

[Trabi601]

EarlOfHazard said:

Suggestions:

Learn how to ladyboy

"Flipped it over.... and it just started up and they drove off"?

[pork911]

jdw100 said:

pork911 said:

An expat sneering at other expats and local men, how very novel

Just repeating what women here have told me. Personally I have met few locals I didn't like

I was out on Saturday night with a crowd of people. One of wife's friends has about three business streams on the go - very entrepreneurial- but was bemoaning her singledom. I suggested finding a nice local guy and got rolling of eyes and the view she wants a partner in life not someone who she has to cook for and has no aspirations to travel..etc...etc...

I'm not sneering - it's the way it is in quite a few countries out here. Have a Google as to why western guys are so popular in Japan.

How did I ever manage living in Asia pre-Google?

Anyway, there's no view from nowhere when singles explain their singledom, especially to a westerner, even in your 'social circle'.

Edited by pork911 on Wednesday 2nd November 00:53