Thai wives etc. Naïve and deluded?
Discussion
blindswelledrat said:
Something I am curious about. Does anyone have any actual facts/statistics?
All the 'guesses' on this thread about the amount of brides that run off with money etc simply read like a normal PH thread about standard UK marriages borne of such a deep rooted fear of women that the actual thai element is irrelevant.
I've found it fascinating reading all the comments and opinions on this thread. I've been in Asia since 1990, met one or two people over here, possibly even know a married couple or two, but PH is where I will always come when I need my facts about Asian women, wife's and relationship. All the 'guesses' on this thread about the amount of brides that run off with money etc simply read like a normal PH thread about standard UK marriages borne of such a deep rooted fear of women that the actual thai element is irrelevant.
creampuff said:
All that jazz said:
I remember reading an old thread on here years ago from some old guy working offshore in the oil fields in Asia who'd married a young Filipino girl and bought a big house for her in the Philippines somewhere and then had her mother move in with them 
. Dunno if he still posts on here (can't remember the username) but he isn't going to be short of a few quid in that line of work and that kind of money would go a very long way in the Philippines. His young wife and family just biding their time? 
I guess when you're balls deep in some hot, young pretty thing you don't worry about things like that 
.
Another t. Dunno if he still posts on here (can't remember the username) but he isn't going to be short of a few quid in that line of work and that kind of money would go a very long way in the Philippines. His young wife and family just biding their time? I guess when you're balls deep in some hot, young pretty thing you don't worry about things like that .
t. It is not your place to make such a judgement and you have no evidence for your suggestion. There are plenty of mixed ethnicity couples who you will see walking around the streets of the UK. Why not put this suggestion to some of them and post back on here with the results?
Well, update to my previous post aboit my Thai marriage to the girl of my dreams who I married six months ago. Today I met her close friend who introduced us. I was told that, before she met me,she worked in a local bar as a bar girl, ( Thai description of a prostitute ), has a Thai husband who she sends money to, as he doesn't work....just plays around with local girls in her home village.
Despite all her declerations of love over the two years prior to getting married, she only married to get the 'dowry' of 1 million baht, approx £20,000 , I gave her to build a house for the family, so they could move from the cow shed they all lived in!
Bit shell shocked to find that a girl I loved and respected and thought I knew totally and wanted to spend my life with turns out to be a we. And I have lived in Thailand for five years and thought I was wordly wise and would never be duped !
We are still married, both Thai wedding and legal ceromony, and it seems she will not divorce me as she thinks she will get all my wordly goods when I shuffle off to the Temple.
Thai law is different to the UK, as divorced couple must share all assests aquired since marriage, and previous assets are protected, such as house pension etc.
So now I am off to a good lawyer to have a will drafted to leave everything to my sister in the UK, so she gets nothing.
But, still had some good memories of life with her, despite now finding that it was all a shell relationship, and will just have to exercise more caution with the next lovely that comes along !
This is Thailand and the temptation is there every day.........
Despite all her declerations of love over the two years prior to getting married, she only married to get the 'dowry' of 1 million baht, approx £20,000 , I gave her to build a house for the family, so they could move from the cow shed they all lived in!
Bit shell shocked to find that a girl I loved and respected and thought I knew totally and wanted to spend my life with turns out to be a w
e. And I have lived in Thailand for five years and thought I was wordly wise and would never be duped !We are still married, both Thai wedding and legal ceromony, and it seems she will not divorce me as she thinks she will get all my wordly goods when I shuffle off to the Temple.
Thai law is different to the UK, as divorced couple must share all assests aquired since marriage, and previous assets are protected, such as house pension etc.
So now I am off to a good lawyer to have a will drafted to leave everything to my sister in the UK, so she gets nothing.
But, still had some good memories of life with her, despite now finding that it was all a shell relationship, and will just have to exercise more caution with the next lovely that comes along !
This is Thailand and the temptation is there every day.........
That's irrelevant to the guy above of course.
There's some truth in that cliche though not always in the way many who use it intend.
There may well be more red flags over guys who go with bar girls than bar girls themselves (what's his excuse? Etc
)
The cultural difference is so huge why would a 'normal' Thai 'good girl' want to be with a western man, or vice versa?
A bar girl / western male coupling is more likely to succeed than normal good girl / western male coupling, where they fail it's more to do with the culture gap than previous work, unless of course there was never any coupling to begin with but that's just people kidding themselves (like anywhere!).
There's some truth in that cliche though not always in the way many who use it intend.
There may well be more red flags over guys who go with bar girls than bar girls themselves (what's his excuse? Etc
)The cultural difference is so huge why would a 'normal' Thai 'good girl' want to be with a western man, or vice versa?
A bar girl / western male coupling is more likely to succeed than normal good girl / western male coupling, where they fail it's more to do with the culture gap than previous work, unless of course there was never any coupling to begin with but that's just people kidding themselves (like anywhere!).
King Herald said:
I got used to the ignorance and naïveté of the average punter many years ago. In fact I'm surprised we haven't had the usual hilarious stream of jokes along the lines of "are you sure it is a woman you married, not a guy" etc etc
Indeed. My experience of getting stares in public over last 20 years:- my ex (went out for 15 years) was from NZ = no stares.
- dated a lady of Indian descent but as London as me = quite a few stares.
- polish girl = no stares
- wife is Indonesian = lots of stares.
Here in Bali it's the Australian middle aged women that give us 'the look'. I'm 48, she is 31, I'm 6' 2" and I guess wife clocks in around 5' 2". I'm also bald - but then I shaved it all off at 40 so I was also bald going out with other ladies above!
After finishing a 15 year relationship I found no problems in getting other girlfriends, in fact I had a bit of a crazy couple of years. Met my now wife the same way I've met other people - started chatting to her as she was having dinner with friends - dated for 18 months and then we decided to get married: the usual story just happens that she is from another country.
it really does p
s off a lot of people here though that a lot of westerners seem to think all APac women are prostitutes or after a western guy for his money. My wife speaks three languages, privately educated, was managing a boutique hotel and has a lovely house here- in which we now live. Most of her mates are in business of some sort or another, from container shipping to graphic design. However on occasion when they go out they have been approached by western guys and offered money for sex.
Imagine if that was your wife or girlfriend out in some nice bar in the UK and guys from India or Russia felt it was okay to come up and offer them money. I can't imagine it would go down well.....
i think people do make assumptions when they see us, can't say I particularly care but it does show a level of ignorance. It's a global environment these days and many of my friends are well travelled and have spouses of different country...Polish, French, NZ, German, Pakistani , Jamaican etc.....
[Despite all her declerations of love over the two years prior to getting married, she only married to get the 'dowry' of 1 million baht, approx £20,000 , I gave her to build a house for the family, so they could move from the cow shed they all lived in!]
Sorry to be a pedant but the 'dowry' is traditionally given by the bride's family to the groom. Maybe they didn't tell you that!
Sorry to be a pedant but the 'dowry' is traditionally given by the bride's family to the groom. Maybe they didn't tell you that!
konark said:
[Despite all her declerations of love over the two years prior to getting married, she only married to get the 'dowry' of 1 million baht, approx £20,000 , I gave her to build a house for the family, so they could move from the cow shed they all lived in!]
Sorry to be a pedant but the 'dowry' is traditionally given by the bride's family to the groom. Maybe they didn't tell you that!
Sorry to be a pedant but that's wrong here, the sinsot he meant isn't a dowry.Sorry to be a pedant but the 'dowry' is traditionally given by the bride's family to the groom. Maybe they didn't tell you that!
konark said:
Sorry to be a pedant but the 'dowry' is traditionally given by the bride's family to the groom. Maybe they didn't tell you that!
Different cultures have different traditions. I had to pay a "dower" (haq mehr) to my wife. She was also given money/ assets by her parents to bring into the marriage. King Herald said:
Could be me, 21 years with my wife, still here in the Philippines but moving back to the U.K. soon, wife and daughter are fed up over here.
The MIL died a couple of years ago, finally.... she was a pain in the arse but useful as a babysitter at times. She did come to the U.K. to live with us when we were other there a decade ago.
And I'm not that old, 56 now, and retired, 35 when I met the wife.
Hope by now you have your Hotrod finished and on the road ?The MIL died a couple of years ago, finally.... she was a pain in the arse but useful as a babysitter at times. She did come to the U.K. to live with us when we were other there a decade ago.
And I'm not that old, 56 now, and retired, 35 when I met the wife.
Good to see you back posting again.
KT
jdw100 said:
Indeed. My experience of getting stares in public over last 20 years:
- my ex (went out for 15 years) was from NZ = no stares.
- dated a lady of Indian descent but as London as me = quite a few stares.
- polish girl = no stares
- wife is Indonesian = lots of stares.
Here in Bali it's the Australian middle aged women that give us 'the look'. I'm 48, she is 31, I'm 6' 2" and I guess wife clocks in around 5' 2". I'm also bald - but then I shaved it all off at 40 so I was also bald going out with other ladies above!
After finishing a 15 year relationship I found no problems in getting other girlfriends, in fact I had a bit of a crazy couple of years. Met my now wife the same way I've met other people - started chatting to her as she was having dinner with friends - dated for 18 months and then we decided to get married: the usual story just happens that she is from another country.
it really does ps off a lot of people here though that a lot of westerners seem to think all APac women are prostitutes or after a western guy for his money.
My wife speaks three languages, privately educated, was managing a boutique hotel and has a lovely house here- in which we now live. Most of her mates are in business of some sort or another, from container shipping to graphic design. However on occasion when they go out they have been approached by western guys and offered money for sex.
Imagine if that was your wife or girlfriend out in some nice bar in the UK and guys from India or Russia felt it was okay to come up and offer them money. I can't imagine it would go down well.....
i think people do make assumptions when they see us, can't say I particularly care but it does show a level of ignorance. It's a global environment these days and many of my friends are well travelled and have spouses of different country...Polish, French, NZ, German, Pakistani , Jamaican etc.....
I've never noticed any stares. Not one. I always thought if it was the other way round people would stare.- my ex (went out for 15 years) was from NZ = no stares.
- dated a lady of Indian descent but as London as me = quite a few stares.
- polish girl = no stares
- wife is Indonesian = lots of stares.
Here in Bali it's the Australian middle aged women that give us 'the look'. I'm 48, she is 31, I'm 6' 2" and I guess wife clocks in around 5' 2". I'm also bald - but then I shaved it all off at 40 so I was also bald going out with other ladies above!
After finishing a 15 year relationship I found no problems in getting other girlfriends, in fact I had a bit of a crazy couple of years. Met my now wife the same way I've met other people - started chatting to her as she was having dinner with friends - dated for 18 months and then we decided to get married: the usual story just happens that she is from another country.
it really does p
s off a lot of people here though that a lot of westerners seem to think all APac women are prostitutes or after a western guy for his money. My wife speaks three languages, privately educated, was managing a boutique hotel and has a lovely house here- in which we now live. Most of her mates are in business of some sort or another, from container shipping to graphic design. However on occasion when they go out they have been approached by western guys and offered money for sex.
Imagine if that was your wife or girlfriend out in some nice bar in the UK and guys from India or Russia felt it was okay to come up and offer them money. I can't imagine it would go down well.....
i think people do make assumptions when they see us, can't say I particularly care but it does show a level of ignorance. It's a global environment these days and many of my friends are well travelled and have spouses of different country...Polish, French, NZ, German, Pakistani , Jamaican etc.....
'Imagine being married to a woman... who isn't a woman' I assume he meant.
I did mention earlier that I was surprised we hadn't seen the usual few hilarious and original jokes asking whether the wife in question is actually a man, almost compulsory in any thread about Asian women.
It was too good to be true....
I did mention earlier that I was surprised we hadn't seen the usual few hilarious and original jokes asking whether the wife in question is actually a man, almost compulsory in any thread about Asian women.
It was too good to be true....
King Herald said:
'Imagine being married to a woman... who isn't a woman' I assume he meant.
I did mention earlier that I was surprised we hadn't seen the usual few hilarious and original jokes asking whether the wife in question is actually a man, almost compulsory in any thread about Asian women.
It was too good to be true....
He didn't mean that. It was a joke "imagine being married to someone other men don't desire" as in "imagine being married to someone who is ugly" I did mention earlier that I was surprised we hadn't seen the usual few hilarious and original jokes asking whether the wife in question is actually a man, almost compulsory in any thread about Asian women.
It was too good to be true....
King Herald said:
'Imagine being married to a woman... who isn't a woman' I assume he meant.
I did mention earlier that I was surprised we hadn't seen the usual few hilarious and original jokes asking whether the wife in question is actually a man, almost compulsory in any thread about Asian women.
It was too good to be true....
Jesus, Peter Paranoid, how on earth did you get to that conclusion? I did mention earlier that I was surprised we hadn't seen the usual few hilarious and original jokes asking whether the wife in question is actually a man, almost compulsory in any thread about Asian women.
It was too good to be true....
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