I am getting bad vibes

I am getting bad vibes

Author
Discussion

DonkeyApple

54,923 posts

168 months

Saturday 26th November 2016
quotequote all
grumbledoak said:
AVV EM said:
Best get out whilst he can.
There is a kid involved. Getting out will cost him everything.

The only hope of a happy ending now is that he does get the family he missed out on by wasting his time with the last one, and even then it will be "one for the price of three".
It's not going to cost him much as he'll just default on all the debt. The cost will be born by his family.

Cogcog

Original Poster:

11,800 posts

234 months

Saturday 26th November 2016
quotequote all
AVV EM said:
laugh
Tell him to grow a pair. She seems to be controlling and manipulative. Best get out whilst he can.
I sent him the meme about joint facebook accounts. In reality she now has his mobile phone most of the time so she will get it too.

simoid

19,772 posts

157 months

Saturday 26th November 2016
quotequote all
Cogcog said:
I sent him the meme about joint facebook accounts. In reality she now has his mobile phone most of the time so she will get it too.
Careful, you're maybe moving into territory where she can reasonably say "look at this, BiL is trying to turn you against me..."

Cogcog

Original Poster:

11,800 posts

234 months

Tuesday 6th December 2016
quotequote all
simoid said:
Careful, you're maybe moving into territory where she can reasonably say "look at this, BiL is trying to turn you against me..."
Joint facebook, joint hotmail, joint hen and stag night. Not seen him alone in 14 months except for 1 hour out on the bikes when he wanted to go hope 30 mins in to a 3 hour ride. I think he deserves all he gets!

Ahbefive

11,657 posts

171 months

Tuesday 6th December 2016
quotequote all
OP, I hate to say it but you are likely to get massively screwed in this scenario.

I can see you Bil getting everything and you ending up with nothing. Bad times.

Cogcog

Original Poster:

11,800 posts

234 months

Thursday 8th December 2016
quotequote all
Latest: a good number of his friends are no longer on his FB account.


4x4Tyke

6,506 posts

131 months

Thursday 8th December 2016
quotequote all

mjb1

2,552 posts

158 months

Thursday 8th December 2016
quotequote all
Cogcog said:
joint hen and stag night.
Have a quiet word in the girlfriend's ear: "Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, do you really want to see your soon to be husband snorting coke from a hooker's arse crack?"

DonkeyApple

54,923 posts

168 months

Friday 9th December 2016
quotequote all
4x4Tyke said:
'The question of what is controlling behaviour can be hard to answer. Much of it can be put down to personality traits. However it can over step the mark and become abusive. Some examples of what a controlling man or woman may do include:

Not allowing their partner to go out
Forbidding contact with friends and family
Controlling what they wear
Controlling what they eat
Constant texting and calling
Constantly checking on where the victim is, what they are doing and who they are with
Making all the plans without discussion'


Indeed. That could just be a wiki entry for 'wife'. smile

HarryW

15,150 posts

268 months

Friday 9th December 2016
quotequote all
DonkeyApple said:
4x4Tyke said:
'The question of what is controlling behaviour can be hard to answer. Much of it can be put down to personality traits. However it can over step the mark and become abusive. Some examples of what a controlling man or woman may do include:

Not allowing their partner to go out
Forbidding contact with friends and family
Controlling what they wear
Controlling what they eat
Constant texting and calling
Constantly checking on where the victim is, what they are doing and who they are with
Making all the plans without discussion'


Indeed. That could just be a wiki entry for 'wife'. smile
I was just working my way down your list and starting to draw personal parallels....

Then I read the last line hehe

anonymous-user

53 months

Friday 9th December 2016
quotequote all
I think that you should seriously consider reporting her for domestic abuse and get some sort of therapy for your brother as he's obviously not doing so well up there in the head, either that or she's blackmailing him.

Cogcog

Original Poster:

11,800 posts

234 months

Saturday 10th December 2016
quotequote all
AVV EM said:
I think that you should seriously consider reporting her for domestic abuse and get some sort of therapy for your brother as he's obviously not doing so well up there in the head, either that or she's blackmailing him.
They move into the new house next week. I am hoping it settles her nerves. Can't say too much now but there have been several other, apparently unrelated, 'incidents' which have compounded things.

Looking like an interesting Christmas and new year.

Vaud

50,289 posts

154 months

Thursday 23rd February 2017
quotequote all
Cogcog said:
They move into the new house next week. I am hoping it settles her nerves. Can't say too much now but there have been several other, apparently unrelated, 'incidents' which have compounded things.

Looking like an interesting Christmas and new year.
How did this end up?

Bit of a resurrection but I saw one of your other threads.

anonymous-user

53 months

Friday 24th February 2017
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Vaud said:
How did this end up?

Bit of a resurrection but I saw one of your other threads.
I twigged that too.
I think that some women are extremely unpleasant and controlling. Its unrelated but at Xmas one of our mates was telling us of a member of staff who worked for him. He had bad vibes about her and got shot off as soon as he could. It turns out she wasn't who she said she was and was actually had a deeply chequered past.

Cogcog

Original Poster:

11,800 posts

234 months

Saturday 25th February 2017
quotequote all
UPDATE:

He has now had to change his mobile number and email address for her fear of him contacting an ex. Zero, and I mean zero time when she isn't with him 24/7.

2 weeks after they bought the new house he called us asking for a bed for the night (twice) with her sceaming and swearing in the background.

If she was the man I am sure this would be emotional abuse and seen as domestic violence.

He says he is happy.

Father in laws will has been changed.


bloomen

6,851 posts

158 months

Sunday 26th February 2017
quotequote all
If he himself isn't recording calls and taking notes of incidents, then you can do it for him. At some point it's going to come to a head and he'll be in a much safer position if there's evidence to back up his position.

No doubt she'll be rolling out the domestic violence trope.

Cogcog

Original Poster:

11,800 posts

234 months

Sunday 26th February 2017
quotequote all
bloomen said:
If he himself isn't recording calls and taking notes of incidents, then you can do it for him. At some point it's going to come to a head and he'll be in a much safer position if there's evidence to back up his position.

No doubt she'll be rolling out the domestic violence trope.
Never thought of that, thanks

anonymous-user

53 months

Sunday 26th February 2017
quotequote all
She is a schemer has the house she wants your brother will now be surplus to requirements. Your loan, kindness etc is irrelevant.

chilistrucker

4,541 posts

150 months

Sunday 26th February 2017
quotequote all
Cogcog said:
bloomen said:
If he himself isn't recording calls and taking notes of incidents, then you can do it for him. At some point it's going to come to a head and he'll be in a much safer position if there's evidence to back up his position.

No doubt she'll be rolling out the domestic violence trope.
Never thought of that, thanks
Great idea. Note and log everything where she is concerned, could come in very handy in the future.

steveatesh

4,893 posts

163 months

Sunday 26th February 2017
quotequote all
chilistrucker said:
Cogcog said:
bloomen said:
If he himself isn't recording calls and taking notes of incidents, then you can do it for him. At some point it's going to come to a head and he'll be in a much safer position if there's evidence to back up his position.

No doubt she'll be rolling out the domestic violence trope.
Never thought of that, thanks
Great idea. Note and log everything where she is concerned, could come in very handy in the future.
Be very interesting to see what type of service he gets though were he to make a complaint. Even if the police treat his complaint as they would a woman complaining, there is a serious lack of support for male victims of DV.