Relationship ramble...any input?
Discussion
I think the suggestions for possessions in a box, along with the Xmas present are the way to go.
Make yourself unavailable; as well as avoiding pointless contact you'll get her thinking 'What's he doing now that doesn't involve me...?'
A bit of intrigue can't do any harm. Do not end up in bed though. You'll either end having bad sex with your ex or great sex.. with your ex. Neither are good outcomes.
Make yourself unavailable; as well as avoiding pointless contact you'll get her thinking 'What's he doing now that doesn't involve me...?'
A bit of intrigue can't do any harm. Do not end up in bed though. You'll either end having bad sex with your ex or great sex.. with your ex. Neither are good outcomes.
Everyone appreciates a PH thread with an update, so-
I didn't backslide, did the whole xmas present thing together on the 21st and had a moderately pleasant evening under the circumstances, said our goodbyes, with her in the process of getting counselling etc. At that point i think i still had hopes of being able to sort stuff out.
With some time and perspective over christmas, and without contact, I realised how much I had been doing to make her happy, and not myself...so I fully cut her off and said my formal "good luck, good bye" a few days ago by text, deleted all the social media stuff, photos off phone, the lot.
Kind of realised that things were too far gone to really save, she would never be able to fully escape her issues, and i don't want to be back in a relationship with the threat of her pulling the same thing over again....or be hanging around with my life on hold for months on the off chance she decides she wants the relationship again.
New year, new start, bought myself a DC5 integra on NYE as a little present...onwards and upwards.
Here's to 2017.
I didn't backslide, did the whole xmas present thing together on the 21st and had a moderately pleasant evening under the circumstances, said our goodbyes, with her in the process of getting counselling etc. At that point i think i still had hopes of being able to sort stuff out.
With some time and perspective over christmas, and without contact, I realised how much I had been doing to make her happy, and not myself...so I fully cut her off and said my formal "good luck, good bye" a few days ago by text, deleted all the social media stuff, photos off phone, the lot.
Kind of realised that things were too far gone to really save, she would never be able to fully escape her issues, and i don't want to be back in a relationship with the threat of her pulling the same thing over again....or be hanging around with my life on hold for months on the off chance she decides she wants the relationship again.
New year, new start, bought myself a DC5 integra on NYE as a little present...onwards and upwards.
Here's to 2017.
Very un-PH i Know, but i figured i'd update this tale with some closure.
I never ventured back into the theatre ex's arms, and actually never heard from her again, or contacted her.
Found out from a mutual friend that she is now in a relationship officially with the guy who i suspected had "turned her head" when things all went downhill....it sounds like she was low key seeing him from the moment we broke up, if not before (i wouldn't be surprised if she cheated on me, knowing all this concretely after the fact).
Pretty pleased to find this out, and be vindicated that my suspicions at the time were 100% accurate...it provides a good degree of closure on the whole thing.
In positive news elsewhere, I met a fantastic girl in march, completely unplanned but we have just hit it off hugely, and it's going from strength to strength.
Guess i learnt a few things
-always, always trust your gut instinct, even if it's something you don't like or want to entertain.
-Even when something ends with someone "ideal", there's always a better person out there for you.
-Buying the DC5 was a fantastic idea, buy a car after a breakup, it works wonders.
I never ventured back into the theatre ex's arms, and actually never heard from her again, or contacted her.
Found out from a mutual friend that she is now in a relationship officially with the guy who i suspected had "turned her head" when things all went downhill....it sounds like she was low key seeing him from the moment we broke up, if not before (i wouldn't be surprised if she cheated on me, knowing all this concretely after the fact).
Pretty pleased to find this out, and be vindicated that my suspicions at the time were 100% accurate...it provides a good degree of closure on the whole thing.
In positive news elsewhere, I met a fantastic girl in march, completely unplanned but we have just hit it off hugely, and it's going from strength to strength.
Guess i learnt a few things
-always, always trust your gut instinct, even if it's something you don't like or want to entertain.
-Even when something ends with someone "ideal", there's always a better person out there for you.
-Buying the DC5 was a fantastic idea, buy a car after a breakup, it works wonders.
designforlife said:
it sounds like she was low key seeing him from the moment we broke up, if not before (i wouldn't be surprised if she cheated on me, knowing all this concretely after the fact).
But you also said:
There's noone else involved, neither do I have any reason to believe so, been cheated on before so i can sniff out the signs a mile away.
designforlife said:
Very un-PH i Know, but i figured i'd update this tale with some closure.
Found out from a mutual friend that she is now in a relationship officially with the guy who i suspected had "turned her head" when things all went downhill....it sounds like she was low key seeing him from the moment we broke up, if not before (i wouldn't be surprised if she cheated on me, knowing all this concretely after the fact).
Pretty pleased to find this out, and be vindicated that my suspicions at the time were 100% accurate...it provides a good degree of closure on the whole thing.
As you bumped this I naturally read page 1 first and as soon as you wrote that she was out until 6am AWOL, I smelt a rat. Glad you got out of there mate. Found out from a mutual friend that she is now in a relationship officially with the guy who i suspected had "turned her head" when things all went downhill....it sounds like she was low key seeing him from the moment we broke up, if not before (i wouldn't be surprised if she cheated on me, knowing all this concretely after the fact).
Pretty pleased to find this out, and be vindicated that my suspicions at the time were 100% accurate...it provides a good degree of closure on the whole thing.
How's the DC5?
sc0tt said:
You can always rely on someone on PH to trot out "I told you so"...
Good for you OP.
Hindsight is 20/20, as they say Good for you OP.
Bowen86 said:
As you bumped this I naturally read page 1 first and as soon as you wrote that she was out until 6am AWOL, I smelt a rat. Glad you got out of there mate.
How's the DC5?
Excellent thanks, couldn't have picked a more ideal toy/daily blend...probably the biggest impulse purchase i've ever made, luckily it turned out to be a pretty sensible investment rather than a moment of relationship breakdown lunacy.How's the DC5?
OP, had a weirdly similiar situation with someone also in theatre (arts).
Relationship was going from strength to strength, then suddenly "crisis" hit. This repeated a few times.
Heard various rumours of things not being quite right, who knows what she was up to out of hours.
Things often returned to normal and I continued to "believe".
Then one day, out of no where, cut me off - for good.
Few weeks later, seeing a new guy, older - within 3 weeks, moved in.
Little over a year, getting married.
We were together 6 years.
Looking back, it all worked out for the best - because I'm much happier now, as a person, that the chaotic part of my life is over.
You don't realise how much it drains you at the time, you just think of "love" and have a naive view on things.
Now I'm much wiser and open to simply moving on - without going through the torture ever again.
Relationship was going from strength to strength, then suddenly "crisis" hit. This repeated a few times.
Heard various rumours of things not being quite right, who knows what she was up to out of hours.
Things often returned to normal and I continued to "believe".
Then one day, out of no where, cut me off - for good.
Few weeks later, seeing a new guy, older - within 3 weeks, moved in.
Little over a year, getting married.
We were together 6 years.
Looking back, it all worked out for the best - because I'm much happier now, as a person, that the chaotic part of my life is over.
You don't realise how much it drains you at the time, you just think of "love" and have a naive view on things.
Now I'm much wiser and open to simply moving on - without going through the torture ever again.
Ki3r said:
designforlife said:
oh i was in denial big time, will fully hold my hands up to that!
It's funny isn't it. Everyone else can see it, but you can't. Had a similar thing with an ex! I laugh at myself now for how stupid I was!Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff