Relationship ramble...any input?

Relationship ramble...any input?

Author
Discussion

johnwilliams77

8,308 posts

102 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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ChunkyloverSV said:
They always trot that line out. She's 30. She needs to grow up, she cannot blame her behaviour on her parents.

So it's all your fault and her parents is it? that's nice of her.

What she wants from life? She wants to stay up until 7am playing ps4. It is a lot easier than growing up and joining the real world. She's 30. Sounds more like a 15 year old boy.

Sorry I'm being harsh but it sounds just like what happened to me.

Best thing you can do is completely forget about her. Delete and remove everything. It's over, move on, she has.

You have been played like a fiddle son.
At least he made a decision and didn't let it drag out for months. Good man.

Sheets Tabuer

18,895 posts

214 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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ChunkyloverSV said:
They always trot that line out.
The good ol' guilt free get out clause, surprised it's not you wasn't thrown around too.

I bet she punched the air when the OP left.

anonymous-user

53 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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They've split up now - what does it matter?
Other than for some of the usual suspects to make themselves feel better that is.

stuartmmcfc

8,653 posts

191 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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Good luck OP
You've dealt with this in a mature way that only experience of life can give.
Unlike the other relationship thread currently running on here rolleyes

designforlife

Original Poster:

3,734 posts

162 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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There's noone else involved, neither do I have any reason to believe so, been cheated on before so i can sniff out the signs a mile away.

She (and I) were deeply upset, I've never seen her so emotional or open...she genuinely didn't want things to go this way, and by her own admission, never intended to break up with me this weekend...she's only just starting to face up to her own issues, as a result of all this.

Having had a damaged childhood myself, and my own set of issues because of it, i don't for one second feel like shes "feeding me a line".

Been through quite a few breakups before, and this is the strangest, we clearly still want to be with each other...but i was left with no other choice, for my own sake and hers.

xjay1337

15,966 posts

117 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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designforlife said:
Pretty much the plan, she's fully aware of the damage she's done by effectively hand grenading a good relationship...whatever happens from here on will be treated with suitable caution.
Fair play for sorting it head on.

Glad the waiting around has come to an end, sounds fairly amicable.

I do always get concerned when people say there were issues when they were younger etc etc.... doesn't ever really fill me with much confidence about what may or may not pop up at any point.

You seem a decent guy, and I'm very much sure in a few months/years she will realise that it's her loss, not yours.

All the best bud.

anonymous-user

53 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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Sorry to hear it OP.

Chin up and all that. You've done yourself proud ending it at this stage imo. As tough as it is and perhaps hard to see at the moment, chances on that if (when) she comes sniffing around you won't want her anymore. That's my experience anyway. One of life's great ironies eh?

She does sound incredibly immature for 30 though. Bullet dodged, trust all of us with the experience.

Oh and good job on ignoring the tards clogging up the thread.

Now go get laid smile

austinsmirk

5,597 posts

122 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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the why doesn't really matter, yr just better being in a place of dead certainty than not knowing. As long as you have yr phone full of good images to keep you entertained till the next one comes along, just mark it up as experience.

reasons don't matter. you should hear the nonsense I've come out with over the years and equally those thats been said to me.

Move on mate and good luck for the future.

Shnozz

27,418 posts

270 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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Very rare I read a relationship thread on here that doesn't cascade into silly posts and/or the OP only reading the replies he/she wants to hear and making poor (IMO) judgments.

Well done OP - you've dealt with it all spot on and in a considered manner. I wish all the best for you in the future and hopefully a similarly top lady but who doesn't have commitment issues and is happy to settle down.

Rude-boy

22,227 posts

232 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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Now if i may start the decent of the thread as the useful posts have all been made.

Let us prepare a playlist for the OP.

My first contribution:-

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

Toyoda

1,557 posts

99 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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Good man! I checked the post this morning and saw no update so pleased to see you returned. I see there's a fair portion of womanese in what she said to you but obviously you saw no light at the end of the tunnel and called time on it, which took some balls but from what you've said was obviously for the best.

You mentioned the ball being in her court but I reckon in the coming weeks you'll realise the ball of life is very much in your court! In the meantime, have a watch of Swingers with Jon Favreau/Vince Vaughn if you haven't seen it already. It's the perfect film right now.

gregs656

10,816 posts

180 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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designforlife said:
Been through quite a few breakups before, and this is the strangest, we clearly still want to be with each other...but i was left with no other choice, for my own sake and hers.
Be careful with that thought.

Sounds like you made the right choice for both of you, can't say fairer than that at the end of the day - tough though it is.

designforlife

Original Poster:

3,734 posts

162 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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gregs656 said:
Be careful with that thought.

Sounds like you made the right choice for both of you, can't say fairer than that at the end of the day - tough though it is.
Absolutely, if she does approach me in the coming months seeking reconciliation, I would need to see some pretty solid evidence of change from her in terms of the issues which have broken the relationship.

I've no doubt that as time passes my feelings on all this will become a bit more objective, but as of right now i'm feeling pretty vulnerable and upset about it all.

sc0tt

18,032 posts

200 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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designforlife said:
Absolutely, if she does approach me in the coming months seeking reconciliation, I would need to see some pretty solid evidence of change from her in terms of the issues which have broken the relationship.

I've no doubt that as time passes my feelings on all this will become a bit more objective, but as of right now i'm feeling pretty vulnerable and upset about it all.

designforlife

Original Poster:

3,734 posts

162 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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yup, far too sensitive for my own good, you play with the hand you're dealt though right?

gregs656

10,816 posts

180 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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designforlife said:
Absolutely, if she does approach me in the coming months seeking reconciliation, I would need to see some pretty solid evidence of change from her in terms of the issues which have broken the relationship.

I've no doubt that as time passes my feelings on all this will become a bit more objective, but as of right now i'm feeling pretty vulnerable and upset about it all.
Of course. You're grieving a relationship and it sucks. No two ways about it. Just got to look after your self and try and make positive choices. Book a holiday, catch up with old mates, do the thing you keep saying you will do but never get round to it etc . . .

You've given your self a whole new window of opportunities, might as well take advantage of it. Flights are cheap!

conkerman

3,298 posts

134 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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There's a "He's behind you" joke here smile

designforlife

Original Poster:

3,734 posts

162 months

Monday 5th December 2016
quotequote all
gregs656 said:
Of course. You're grieving a relationship and it sucks. No two ways about it. Just got to look after your self and try and make positive choices. Book a holiday, catch up with old mates, do the thing you keep saying you will do but never get round to it etc . . .

You've given your self a whole new window of opportunities, might as well take advantage of it. Flights are cheap!
booked two snowboarding trips in the last 2 days, with a third planned.

DanielSan

18,745 posts

166 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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Well in this festive period that's upon us full of lonely females seeking one thing the only advice I can offer is too download the tinder and pof apps and have a happy new year.

Rich_W

12,548 posts

211 months

Monday 5th December 2016
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Congrats OP. Did the right thing.

Have you deleted Facebook/Instagram/WhatsApp/phone number etc yet?

It's properly tough to do that, but you need to.


Just don't do what I did after 1 such deletion, and get weak one lonely evening and text the girl. Be stronger than me laugh

ps. Don't go out of your way to bang anything else for a while. Rebound shags lose their shine and people tend to lead back to their ex.