Help me rationalise - other people's childcare
Discussion
I can understand the 18 month old needing a sleep at a specific time but the 5 year old should easily be able to get through.
What I can't understand is parents dropping their kids off at nursery before 8 and not picking them up until gone 6 5 days a week! Do they not want to spend time with them?
What I can't understand is parents dropping their kids off at nursery before 8 and not picking them up until gone 6 5 days a week! Do they not want to spend time with them?
2gins said:
Afternoon nap time = mum time / dad time. Can't blame her for keeping up with it, if it works for her family. But I can blame her for expecting others to go out of their way over it, for 1 day..
OTOH adults can be reasoned with but an overtired child can't, and will ruin everybody's day.At least he's getting warning of the routine rather than someone deciding little Johnny's knackered and needs a bed now.
Nanook said:
FlyingMeeces said:
If maintaining the kids routines is what works for them - and it's not like they're twitchy new parents, not with a 4 year old, they've been round the block a few times, they won't be sticking to anything unworkable by now - then good luck to'em.
And yes, if this is a typically developing 4 year old, they will be expected to be fulltime by the September after their 5th birthday, but there may be context there we don't know, any in any case there's a long gap between barely turned 4 in December and the start of compulsory school.
Fulltime by September?And yes, if this is a typically developing 4 year old, they will be expected to be fulltime by the September after their 5th birthday, but there may be context there we don't know, any in any case there's a long gap between barely turned 4 in December and the start of compulsory school.
Must be different in England.
eybic said:
jamieduff1981 said:
I believe anyone who keeps their children awake because they believe it the right thing to do equally stupid to anyone who puts their children to bed at a set time every day.
Why so? Each day at around 1200 my 2yo is falling to sleep whether he's at home or at Nursery, also by 1900 he's conked out, routine does work for a lot of kids.
It'd not the sleeping nor when they go to sleep I take issue with, it's parents forcing unhealthy routines I don't agree with, be that forcing them to bed just because, or equally keeping them up just because
Kids should not be napping in the day at 4 yrs old, fact. An 18 month old that hasn't had a nap is likely to get a bit wired, they can get over tired, it's a thing but more than that parents need an hour in the day to decompress so I suggest that has not to do with the routine demands.
Kids are a lot easier to deal with than tired mums and wives in my experience, do what you can to placate the new mum nazi.
Kids are a lot easier to deal with than tired mums and wives in my experience, do what you can to placate the new mum nazi.
FlyingMeeces said:
Nanook said:
FlyingMeeces said:
If maintaining the kids routines is what works for them - and it's not like they're twitchy new parents, not with a 4 year old, they've been round the block a few times, they won't be sticking to anything unworkable by now - then good luck to'em.
And yes, if this is a typically developing 4 year old, they will be expected to be fulltime by the September after their 5th birthday, but there may be context there we don't know, any in any case there's a long gap between barely turned 4 in December and the start of compulsory school.
Fulltime by September?And yes, if this is a typically developing 4 year old, they will be expected to be fulltime by the September after their 5th birthday, but there may be context there we don't know, any in any case there's a long gap between barely turned 4 in December and the start of compulsory school.
Must be different in England.
t by comparison, we opted to start later to let them develop a little more in play.My eldest is in primary 2 now, but is top of her class, popular with other children (lots of play dates, sleepovers etc) and is sent to the primary 3 class for reading lessons.
We also did baby-led weaning rather than ramming baby rice down their throats and co-sleeping too. Both girls use cutlery properly now and I'm happy to let them both use surgical scalpels when they want to make plastic models with me.
Could be worse. My niece started full time school at age 6 a few months back, still not able to feed herself or take herself to the toilet. She also refuses to eat all of her dinner and demands sweets instead. She had all of her teeth out in August.
My nutty sister-in-law and her mollycoddling has ruined that child, who is a nasty spoilt brat. My brother is just a spineless moron who doesn't say anything as it's not his real daughter and he wants an easy life.
True story.
OP- always worth having a wind up I'd say and keep the child awake. Perhaps accidentally go in the room five minutes after he's gone for his nap and spend so,e time with the child getting to know him. Could be fun.
My nutty sister-in-law and her mollycoddling has ruined that child, who is a nasty spoilt brat. My brother is just a spineless moron who doesn't say anything as it's not his real daughter and he wants an easy life.
True story.
OP- always worth having a wind up I'd say and keep the child awake. Perhaps accidentally go in the room five minutes after he's gone for his nap and spend so,e time with the child getting to know him. Could be fun.
FredClogs said:
Kids should not be napping in the day at 4 yrs old, fact. An 18 month old that hasn't had a nap is likely to get a bit wired, they can get over tired, it's a thing but more than that parents need an hour in the day to decompress so I suggest that has not to do with the routine demands.
Kids are a lot easier to deal with than tired mums and wives in my experience, do what you can to placate the new mum nazi.
Why shouldn't 4 year old be napping?Kids are a lot easier to deal with than tired mums and wives in my experience, do what you can to placate the new mum nazi.
I'm nearly 50 and I would love a nap every afternoon. It's a really civilised thing to do.
Whilst I understand your frustration, is it really that hard to find a couple of spaces around the house where a child can sleep for an hour or two? If that's what it takes to keep mother and children happy then where's the harm?
We're terrible parents who just let the children play 'til they dropped then placed them somewhere safe and warm, but other families seem to go for routine. What would annoy me is if the mother makes a massive fuss over the whole routine - point her to the rooms and let her get on with it.
We're terrible parents who just let the children play 'til they dropped then placed them somewhere safe and warm, but other families seem to go for routine. What would annoy me is if the mother makes a massive fuss over the whole routine - point her to the rooms and let her get on with it.
Wish my 10 year old and 7 year old would have a nap in the afternoon!
Mind you, at least the good wife lets me have a nap in the afternoon when I'm struggling. I'm 41!
Not too sure I see an issue with it really, if it means the kids don't start acting up when they are tired later in the evening then it has got to be a good thing. Gives the parents a breather as well.
Can't imagine many kids wanting to have a nap on Xmas eve though.
Mind you, at least the good wife lets me have a nap in the afternoon when I'm struggling. I'm 41!
Not too sure I see an issue with it really, if it means the kids don't start acting up when they are tired later in the evening then it has got to be a good thing. Gives the parents a breather as well.
Can't imagine many kids wanting to have a nap on Xmas eve though.
I can see both sides here but the thing is, if that's the kids routine then just go with it. Whether or not the 5 year old should be having a nap or not is neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things. Trust me, if you try & get the routine changed then it will go pear shaped. Chances are, the older one probably wont have a nap anyway, but better to be prepared & all that...
OP - I don't know if you have kids, but if you haven't then you'll understand completely when you do.
OP - I don't know if you have kids, but if you haven't then you'll understand completely when you do.
desolate said:
FredClogs said:
Kids should not be napping in the day at 4 yrs old, fact. An 18 month old that hasn't had a nap is likely to get a bit wired, they can get over tired, it's a thing but more than that parents need an hour in the day to decompress so I suggest that has not to do with the routine demands.
Kids are a lot easier to deal with than tired mums and wives in my experience, do what you can to placate the new mum nazi.
Why shouldn't 4 year old be napping?Kids are a lot easier to deal with than tired mums and wives in my experience, do what you can to placate the new mum nazi.
I'm nearly 50 and I would love a nap every afternoon. It's a really civilised thing to do.
In fact, I have an alarm set on my phone for 3.10pm. My son finishes school at 3.15 and if I'm picking him up from school then I have been known to rest my eyes in the car...
Because of our work commitments our eldest (4) regularly goes to bed after 7:30 in the evening. Because of this, sometimes she needs an afternoon nap, or she will be irritating before bedtime. Nothing wrong with that - there's no right or wrong way to "do" parenting!
However, if we knew about a family gathering in advance we would make every effort to work around it so the family get to see the kids full of energy (and hopefully on their best behaviour!)
Some folk bleat on about "routine" but to be honest kids aren't like programming space travel - they're supposed routine can be easily manipulated to make life easier for all involved.
However, if we knew about a family gathering in advance we would make every effort to work around it so the family get to see the kids full of energy (and hopefully on their best behaviour!)
Some folk bleat on about "routine" but to be honest kids aren't like programming space travel - they're supposed routine can be easily manipulated to make life easier for all involved.
thanks to all for replying.
I certainly will "go with the flow" on the day, as I stated, I am not a parent yet myself so was asking some advice. Not my children.
But - does anyone else give 3 weeks notice that they will need to have this nap? I think this is what's odd about all this, the super advance notice.
I certainly will "go with the flow" on the day, as I stated, I am not a parent yet myself so was asking some advice. Not my children.
But - does anyone else give 3 weeks notice that they will need to have this nap? I think this is what's odd about all this, the super advance notice.
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