Help me rationalise - other people's childcare

[768]

My son was a nightmare without a nap for up to a couple of days after, he'd lose all routine and become a bit of a devil child.

He dropped his naps a few months before turning 4, but was the last in his peer group to have them by quite some way. My SiL's kids seemed to have them until much later on the continent. Drove everyone mad having kids of school age up late into the night though.

I'd just do the minimum and keep your head down.

[Tony Starks]

Don't be miserable! People have children because everyone tells them they're wonderful, when in reality, they all want you to suffer as much as they do.

[wombleh]

Ours wouldn't nap in a noisy room and was a nightmare without, tired and grumpy all day then kept waking up the following night. So arranging a quiet place was a requirement for all our sanity. Some kids are happy sleeping wherever. Now 2 years old and no longer needs a nap, yet some still do until much older.

Some of it is how parents treat them but we know enough people with two kids who were treated the same yet have completely different sleeping patterns. You just have to go with it.

[Sway]

Rude-boy said:

Some of the very best behaved and most adjusted children i know (a few of whom are now old enough for children of their own soon ) where given a few set times early on (getting up, tea and bed times mainly) but with the odd change here and there when it was impractical such as staying with friends etc. Other than that there were no real changes to how the parents lead their lives in terms of if they wanted to put Dark Side of the Moon on at 2am and turn it up to 11 they would.

My observation is that children will always take as much rope as you give them. Get them used to being part of a family from day one, not the centre of the family. They soon learn that that noise that just woke them was daddy playing his music again and go straight back to sleep. Likewise one of the biggest little sts i have to encounter when seeing their parents has been treated like royalty since day one and acts like it. I mean we used to even have to whisper conversations downstairs in case we woke the little bubba...

Absolutely.

For a couple of reasons, we had kids earlier than those in our social group. Other half studied early years development, and from day one we mainly stuck to a routine around eating and sleeping with the occasional planned blip to ensure flexibility. Other than that, we'd still have house parties, listen to loud music in the evening, etc. The one inviolable was that no meant no and stop meant stop.

As other friends states getting pregnant, they'd ask for advice as they loved being around our two and could see what great kids they were.

Two listened, nodded along, then as soon as the baby was born let the kid rule their lives. Only while they're babies, they're too young to understand was the answer.

Funnily enough, both now have massive problems with their mid primary age kids. One is up at four in the morning, and the last two hours of school are terrible as she cannot have a nap. She then won't go to sleep until gone 10pm when she's passing out on her feet - any attempt to get her into bed before this and it's meltdown time. Both parents accept it as"it's easier"...

The other has staggering separation anxiety with his mum, cries every single day at the school gates, has a mobile phone so his mum can phone at lunch and sure him she still loves him, and had no relationship with his dad as mum interferes at every point and pretty much wouldn't let him near his son as a baby.

Both are utter little sts.

The parents are still friends, although we've dialled back contact as we're fed up of the constant morning about how hard ore is to be a parent.