What would you do £1200 charity scam.
Discussion
Efbe said:
Lots of questions, so will elaborate.
this event was held over a year on from the child's death.
The mother split with the father of this child shortly after her death. They have another child together.
The father really wants the headstone to be put up, but is scared to chase the mother further for this money/headstone as she is a little nuts and will likely cease contact between him and his daughter.
This is obviously not our issue, though pissed off as hell with her.
Our issue is that the businesses that donated gifts/vouchers/free events etc. to be given away at the charity event are asking what has happened with this. Because my wife organised the event, they are asking her. The worry from my wife, who has he own small business, is that she will be held complicit in this.
Just tell them to fthis event was held over a year on from the child's death.
The mother split with the father of this child shortly after her death. They have another child together.
The father really wants the headstone to be put up, but is scared to chase the mother further for this money/headstone as she is a little nuts and will likely cease contact between him and his daughter.
This is obviously not our issue, though pissed off as hell with her.
Our issue is that the businesses that donated gifts/vouchers/free events etc. to be given away at the charity event are asking what has happened with this. Because my wife organised the event, they are asking her. The worry from my wife, who has he own small business, is that she will be held complicit in this.
k off, politely. You're wife did exactly the right thing and worked hard to put it all together. She raised £1200 for a charity and the same again for a lady who had lost her child whose marriage then collapsed and who is still clearly in a bad way. Frankly wasting it on a bloody stone when she still has the dead child's sibling to raise would have been madness. If she has spent that money on the child that is alive then this is a far better use of their charity and if explained to them then it would be a particularly mental individual who would think a lump of stone and the lining of the pocket of a stone mason a better expenditure.
If the father still really wants a head stone then tell him to buy it himself. It's his child, it him who wants the stone and he is a man and should get on with buying his own tat.
Efbe said:
Our issue is that the businesses that donated gifts/vouchers/free events etc. to be given away at the charity event are asking what has happened with this. Because my wife organised the event, they are asking her. The worry from my wife, who has he own small business, is that she will be held complicit in this.
Usual IANAL stuff but I'd be amazed if anything can come back on your wife if she can show that she handed over the money to the lady concerned.As the previous poster said, just tell the company concerned that the money was passed on to the lady concerned and it's for them to take it up with her.
Jasandjules said:
She may be finding it too difficult, even now, to buy a headstone. After all, that is basically going back over the death of her child.
Frankly if that is the case, being asked repeatedly about it is probably not helping at all.
Did the lady in question ask for this event and payment?
This!Frankly if that is the case, being asked repeatedly about it is probably not helping at all.
Did the lady in question ask for this event and payment?
Sounds like the lady didn't even ask for the money for a headstone in the first place and it was the father's idea in which case perhaps the money should have been given to him.
The woman was the person who asked for help setting up this event to raise money for the headstone. She sucked at organising, so my wife agreed to organise/run it for her. It was my wife's suggestion that any money raised over the cost of a headstone was given to a related charity (Sands)
have told the wife just to leave it, and the advise for responding to enquiries on this.
have told the wife just to leave it, and the advise for responding to enquiries on this.
Efbe said:
The woman was the person who asked for help setting up this event to raise money for the headstone. She sucked at organising, so my wife agreed to organise/run it for her. It was my wife's suggestion that any money raised over the cost of a headstone was given to a related charity (Sands)
have told the wife just to leave it, and the advise for responding to enquiries on this.
I hope she DOES drop it, if she doesn't perhaps we should have a whip-round on here. I'm pretty sure between us all we could probably come up with the £1200 to get your wife off the poor woman's back!have told the wife just to leave it, and the advise for responding to enquiries on this.
Losing a child utterly destroys you, top to bottom, front to back, inside out. Especially the mother. On an animal-instinct level, it's wrong in every way and practically unrecoverable-from. She will never, ever get over it. Plus she split with her husband too. I'd imagine she's still in pieces and she has really, truly got to be left alone.
As others have said, if it's the dad who badly wants the headstone, he should buy it himself.
This whole thing has made me oddly cross in ways I usually reserve for police threads!
Corpulent Tosser said:
Evanivitch said:
Corpulent Tosser said:
I would be pissed off if money I helped raise did not go to its intended purpose.
It did. It went to a grieving mother, possibly dealing with depression.So who's lost out here? I don't suppose anyone that donated intended to visit the gravestone more than once for some token gesture. Does it's absence detract from the cemetery?
What if the money barely covered the cost of a funeral in the first place.
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