i wanna tell you a story.

[Thankyou4calling]

And for me it’s painful and humiliating.

I’m a long standing member on here, I haven’t contributed for some while and I’ve missed it.

Basically my life is a total and utter mess. 4 months ago my partner of three years left me, I’d booked and paid for a trip to Dubai, we were looking forward to it tremendously, utter luxury for a week.

Two days prior I got a text message saying she had left our home, moved to London and wouldn’t be going. It was totally out of the blue and my immediate reaction was shock and disbelief, there is background of course but it really was a shock.
She told me to go. Enjoy and we would talk on return, I didn’t go.

I threw everything I had into winning her back.

She made a lot of very significant demands, tests if you like to show that I wanted her and when I say significant here goes.

She told me to sell the house. So I did.
Told me to sell all the house contents. I did.
Told me to sell my businesses, so I did.
Told me to find a property in London for us to move to so I did.
Told me to get tested to show I was disease free so I did.
Told me to tell my family all I’d done so I did.
Told me to get a job in London. So I did.

I found a nice house for us to move to, rented, and we agreed to go for it. Half an hour before signing she texted to say she wouldn’t move, go it alone, she would see me and move in over a period of time. I paid over £20,000 (a year in advance) on that basis. That was two months ago.

Since then I’ve seen her twice. I’ve not spent a night at the house as I’ve no furniture and live at my mums. I’m broke. I have bills everywhere I turn.

I’ve spent the last four months running around after her, spoiling her as much as I can with gifts and put so much effort in and got pretty much nothing in return. She told me she planned it all to bring me to my knees as punishment for not showing her what she deserved during the time we were together.

She has succeeded in style.

I now spend every day in a state of deep depression, I’m on medication from the docs. I’m broke with bills everywhere I turn and have no pride or self respect. I’m literally a shell of how I was. Still to this day she has me running around and like an idiot I do because I’m crazy about her.

At every stage she comes up with something new for me to do to show I love her which I do as best I can, she continually references things that I’ve addressed as best as I can, explained as best I can and when I feel we are getting somewhere BANG! Something else.

Of course to every story there are two sides and the truth lies between. Funnilly enough me posting on here is at her insistence so again I’m doing as told.

I guess I’ll get lambasted and told to MTFU but I'm interested in others opinions as despite all the above I can't find it in myself to walk away from the situation and try to rebuild.

I still love her and hold out hope of a reconciliation.

Thanks

[Butter Face]

Wow. What a stty situation.

[mickk]

When I read the title I thought it was going to be a joke, horrible situation thank heavens you have your parents.

[Monkeylegend]

Um..........................er....................................er

Not sure whether you need sympathy or a kick up the backside, probably a bit of both, but you probably know that.

Just ask yourself the question, is she worth all this? If you think she is just carry on, if not you know what you need to do.

[Ahbefive]

Thankyou4calling said:

And for me it’s painful and humiliating.

I’m a long standing member on here, I haven’t contributed for some while and I’ve missed it.

Basically my life is a total and utter mess. 4 months ago my partner of three years left me, I’d booked and paid for a trip to Dubai, we were looking forward to it tremendously, utter luxury for a week.

Two days prior I got a text message saying she had left our home, moved to London and wouldn’t be going. It was totally out of the blue and my immediate reaction was shock and disbelief, there is background of course but it really was a shock.
She told me to go. Enjoy and we would talk on return, I didn’t go.

I threw everything I had into winning her back.

She made a lot of very significant demands, tests if you like to show that I wanted her and when I say significant here goes.

She told me to sell the house. So I did.
Told me to sell all the house contents. I did.
Told me to sell my businesses, so I did.
Told me to find a property in London for us to move to so I did.
Told me to get tested to show I was disease free so I did.
Told me to tell my family all I’d done so I did.
Told me to get a job in London. So I did.

I found a nice house for us to move to, rented, and we agreed to go for it. Half an hour before signing she texted to say she wouldn’t move, go it alone, she would see me and move in over a period of time. I paid over £20,000 (a year in advance) on that basis. That was two months ago.

Since then I’ve seen her twice. I’ve not spent a night at the house as I’ve no furniture and live at my mums. I’m broke. I have bills everywhere I turn.

I’ve spent the last four months running around after her, spoiling her as much as I can with gifts and put so much effort in and got pretty much nothing in return. She told me she planned it all to bring me to my knees as punishment for not showing her what she deserved during the time we were together.

She has succeeded in style.

I now spend every day in a state of deep depression, I’m on medication from the docs. I’m broke with bills everywhere I turn and have no pride or self respect. I’m literally a shell of how I was. Still to this day she has me running around and like an idiot I do because I’m crazy about her.

At every stage she comes up with something new for me to do to show I love her which I do as best I can, she continually references things that I’ve addressed as best as I can, explained as best I can and when I feel we are getting somewhere BANG! Something else.

Of course to every story there are two sides and the truth lies between. Funnilly enough me posting on here is at her insistence so again I’m doing as told.

I guess I’ll get lambasted and told to MTFU but I'm interested in others opinions as despite all the above I can't find it in myself to walk away from the situation and try to rebuild.

I still love her and hold out hope of a reconciliation.

Thanks

Just in case.

My thoughts: you total mug/pussywhipped/pathetic.

[ZOLLAR]

I'm not sure what you did but Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Equally, two wrongs don't make a right!

I say the "relationship" you're in now is full of bitterness with a future of misery, leave now even if it's the hardest thing you've done to date.

[Vaud]

Thankyou4calling said:

I still love her and hold out hope of a reconciliation.

Boy that must have been hard to write. My initial thoughts...

Not a MTFU, but more constructively; from what you have described, there is nothing to rebuild. You are in what would seem to be a psychologically abusive and controlling relationship. You may want to consider talking to a specialist charity, e.g.:

http://www.lwa.org.uk/understanding-abuse/abusive-...
and
http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/abuse/pages/domestic-vi...

At a practical level you may want to change your social media / email passwords + bank cards if she had access.

Oh and PH strangers are always here for you!

[Kermit power]

I call bullst.

You've sold your house, your furniture and your multiple businesses, yet somehow, 4 months later, even after paying £20k in rent up front (which on a previous post of yours was £30k, btw), you're somehow skint with unpaid bills everywhere?

I could buy all the rest, as people can do the strangest things, but the money just doesn't add up, unless your "house" was a Wendy House in your mum's back garden, and your "businesses" were several paper rounds.

[Monkeylegend]

To many broken hearts have fallen in the river
To many broken souls have drifted out to sea
You lay your bets and then you pay the price
The things we do for love, the things we do for love.

[Getragdogleg]

What exactly did you do to rile her up like this ?

Especially important question since she demanded you get tested, you must have done something.

[Bawz]

She's a .

Cut all contact... NOW... Before you end up a harrowing statistic.

[steveatesh]

Really sorry OP but from what you have written it sounds to me like you are committed to being this woman's doormat, and up to now you've made a great job of it.

No matter what has happened she is controlling you in an abusive way and you are willingly giving up control of your happiness to her.

How long you let this go on is your choice. If you wish to be a doormat the rest of your life then carry on but if you wish to regain control over your own life then step back from her pronto.

[rangie999]

I call custard... this doesn't all add up!

Let's see some pictures....

[Monkeylegend]

Bawz said:

She's a .

Cut all contact... NOW... Before you end up a harrowing statistic.

You don't know that, 2 sides to every story.

OP started a big thread recently asking about the great unwashed, putting great emphasis on his Company Director status. Seems like he is maybe not exactly in touch with the reality of life in many aspects.

[anonymous-user]

basically forget her, don't contact her and move on.

get a job or start your old business up.

See about getting your 20k back if possible might be able to work something out.

life goes on, st happens, anti depressants shouldn't be used as crutches, i think they do more harm than good really, go to the gym, get on your bike etc.

you ain't the first to become a love sick puppy but realise now it is over and that is the first step.

[AlexC1981]

OP, read back your own post as if you were someone else reading it. What would you advise this person to do?

Love is just a chemical reaction in your brain, not some mystic power over you. At first you will be puking your guts up at the thought of not being with her, but she is just a bh toying with you. Have some pride, be rational, be logical and get your life in order.

Kermit power said:

I call bullst.

You've sold your house, your furniture and your multiple businesses, yet somehow, 4 months later, even after paying £20k in rent up front (which on a previous post of yours was £30k, btw), you're somehow skint with unpaid bills everywhere?

I could buy all the rest, as people can do the strangest things, but the money just doesn't add up, unless your "house" was a Wendy House in your mum's back garden, and your "businesses" were several paper rounds.

It's possible. We don't know how much equity he had in the house and there could have been a mortgage early repayment fee of 2% or so. It might even have sold for less than he paid for it. House clearance places will pay next to nothing to clear out a place of furniture. Somehow I doubt the OP carefully listed each item separately on eBay.

[Sheetmaself]

This does seem stty but for all we know he may of had a three way with her parents in their bed. Im not saying that would excuse her behaviour but it would make me understand it.

That said, and i know its easy when looking from the outside, but re read what you have put look at what you have done and think of her reaction. Even if this person had you back do you think this is a person you should be with? For both of your sakes i think she should be told enough is enough and asked not to make contact again, and you should take inspiration from the fact you have regained control.

If you've already had one business you more than likely have it in you to see another opportunity to take.

[pad58]

Blimey no woman is worth all that and for some reason I don't think it would stop there , seems far fetched to me.

[Doofus]

If she says that you've done stuff you shouldn't have, and wants you to suffer for it, and if she told you to post here, then how come she didn't tell you to list all your failings hee?

If she did, and you haven't, well you're in so much trouble.

I understand your mindset, but I'm afraid you don't have my sympathy. Surely at some point in all of this, you've asked yourself "When will get through this, what will our relatonship look like?" If you haven't, then do so now. She has you like a puppet on a string, and she won't stop. X months after you get back together, she'll drop you for being a spineless puppy.

If you genuinely have nothing left, then at least try to salvage what little dignity remains and GTFO.

[Goaty Bill 2]

Monkeylegend said:

Bawz said:

She's a .

Cut all contact... NOW... Before you end up a harrowing statistic.

You don't know that, 2 sides to every story.

OP started a big thread recently asking about the great unwashed, putting great emphasis on his Company Director status. Seems like he is maybe not exactly in touch with the reality of life in many aspects.

The thread you refer to was started in mid October; no replies on other threads for two plus months now.
That part of the story hold enough provable fact to be 'true enough' for the sake of the story itself.


OP
Some people can forgive.
Some can not.
Either type may require the paying of a toll.
Some require proof of future fidelity.
Others just want revenge.
In the case of revenge, you will never know what the balance sheet looks like; it is probable that it will never again be balanced...