The thread for puns not jokes...

[glenrobbo]

This thread is caught on the horns of a dilemma. My Jersey is becoming unravelled.

[glenrobbo]

mickk said:

What a load of bullocks!

No it isn't! Without my Jersey I'll be Friesian!

[glenrobbo]

Monkeylegend said:

Pericoloso said:

Monkeylegend said:

Well now I am on the horns of a dilemma.

.....repeat, see above ,the OP said that earlier.

Yes, sorry just seen that

It's okay, there's plenty of horns to spare, we can both get the horn.

[glenrobbo]

Just be careful you don't snag your chaps.

[glenrobbo]

If you do snag your chaps, I know a lasso'll mend 'em.

Where's Larry at?

Sorry my puns are getting a bit ropey. It's lait.

Edited by glenrobbo on Thursday 7th March 00:15

[glenrobbo]

Monkeylegend said:

Ah ha now you are copying mine so bottle it

I feel redeemed.

OK, but don't cream yourself, eh?

[glenrobbo]

Evangelion said:

Every time I read one of these awful puns, ice cream.

Well, I can't wafer the next one.

[glenrobbo]

That's Utterly Butterly! ^ ^ ^ ^

[glenrobbo]

Here you go:

davhill said:

Stuart70 said:

Snared you, I took it as cymbalic [sic].

I was (bass) drummed out of punners anonymous for a less crashing pun than that.

I ride out with my high hat on....

Found yourself ensnared?

Found your way home using your Tom Tom?

No wish to brush you off but I'm sorry to stick it to you.

Some Premier puns here.

It's about time somebody drummed some sense into you.

Now just carry on...

[glenrobbo]

.






Does anybody know any good Sean Connery jokes?








.

[glenrobbo]

Sean Connery emerged from the waves with blood pouring from a leg wound and said:

"When you shwim in the shea and an eel bitesh your knee, that'sh a Moray!"

Anybody know any Sean Connery jokes?

[glenrobbo]

RDMcG said:

I prefer saddle of lamb , perhaps a neighsoise salad. Maybe a Scotch to start. I like Dalwhinny.

I don't think you can beat a nice leg of liver.

Or a shoulder of mince.

[glenrobbo]

nonsequitur said:

Is that northern or southern dinner?

It depends where you're sitting, NS.

[glenrobbo]

Ultra Sound Guy said:

Whoa, here she comes, watch out boys she'll chew you up! Whoa, here she comes, she's a....

Oh Poley, she's beautiful!

Can we keep her? In the Hall? What can we feed her?

I shall call her Dug

Dug Ong.

[glenrobbo]

Ultra Sound Guy said:

A pun is not completely matured until it is full groan!

Excellent!

Don't put all your online puns in one basket: keep them in the pun.net.

[glenrobbo]

Ultra Sound Guy said:

Here’s a real manatee!

Are you sure?
Looks more like a Tiger to me...

[glenrobbo]

Anybody know any Sean Connery jokes?

[glenrobbo]

Won't you join me in the club for a nice cup of green tee?

[glenrobbo]

Evangelion said:

This morning when I got up, I put on a pair of golfing socks.

I got a hole in one.

That's rough, you must be tee'd off about it, but you can still get a round in.

[glenrobbo]

Has anybody got a Classic from the Mrs to regale us on here?

Or a good dollop of Coronavirus Humour that we can all share an infectious laugh at from a social distance?

All of the punsters seem to be doing a Dominic Cummings and have gone off spreading puns everywhere when they should be staying in this punbubble.

Stay Alert.
Control the puns.
Save them for here.

Our track and trace system is the best in this forum.