Relationship Advice
Discussion
GT03ROB said:
Ari said:
GT03ROB said:
I know the feeling. Every time I go home no car has any fuel in. Every car has numerous pairs of shoes, a couple of coats, dog leads, lipsticks, nail varnish, apple cores, empty crisp packets & half eaten sandwiches.
Bet she looks really really pretty though...If I got in my car and regularly found that my girlfriend/partner/whatever had finished her packet of crisps and just dropped the packet for me to pick up later - or worse, got halfway through a sandwich, presumably got bored with it or was full so just threw it on the floor, or left an apple core to stink and rot, I'd regard that as basically having nothing but contempt for me.
I assume you've mentioned it so presumably she must know you're not happy about it?
If so, it does sound a bit like she really couldn't give a f
k what you think...Yipper said:
Laziness is usually a sign of underlying illness. Disease, minor or major, physical, oral or psychological, tires the body and leaves it less willing to do the normal everyday things, like tidying up. Before giving her the heave-ho, see if she has a problem with her teeth, bloods, periods, etc. A few trips to the doc could be transformative.
No, it isn't; who the bloody hell told you this tripe? Do NOT go and waste your doctor's time because you're a lazy fk.DOI: Doctor.
QuickQuack said:
Yipper said:
Laziness is usually a sign of underlying illness. Disease, minor or major, physical, oral or psychological, tires the body and leaves it less willing to do the normal everyday things, like tidying up. Before giving her the heave-ho, see if she has a problem with her teeth, bloods, periods, etc. A few trips to the doc could be transformative.
No, it isn't; who the bloody hell told you this tripe? Do NOT go and waste your doctor's time because you're a lazy fk.DOI: Doctor.
Cold said:
QuickQuack said:
Yipper said:
Laziness is usually a sign of underlying illness. Disease, minor or major, physical, oral or psychological, tires the body and leaves it less willing to do the normal everyday things, like tidying up. Before giving her the heave-ho, see if she has a problem with her teeth, bloods, periods, etc. A few trips to the doc could be transformative.
No, it isn't; who the bloody hell told you this tripe? Do NOT go and waste your doctor's time because you're a lazy fk.DOI: Doctor.
Ari said:
GT03ROB said:
Ari said:
GT03ROB said:
I know the feeling. Every time I go home no car has any fuel in. Every car has numerous pairs of shoes, a couple of coats, dog leads, lipsticks, nail varnish, apple cores, empty crisp packets & half eaten sandwiches.
Bet she looks really really pretty though...If I got in my car and regularly found that my girlfriend/partner/whatever had finished her packet of crisps and just dropped the packet for me to pick up later - or worse, got halfway through a sandwich, presumably got bored with it or was full so just threw it on the floor, or left an apple core to stink and rot, I'd regard that as basically having nothing but contempt for me.
I assume you've mentioned it so presumably she must know you're not happy about it?
If so, it does sound a bit like she really couldn't give a f
k what you think...Within the big scheme of thing it's no big deal & life's too short to worry about it. Each time I come back I empty the contents out of each car & pile them up on the kitchen table or in the front hall for her to tidy up. Rubbish, coats, shoes, whatever!!
GT03ROB said:
There are not really his & her cars on the drive. But yes each of the cars she uses so Porsche, Range Rover or Fiat.
Within the big scheme of thing it's no big deal & life's too short to worry about it. Each time I come back I empty the contents out of each car & pile them up on the kitchen table or in the front hall for her to tidy up. Rubbish, coats, shoes, whatever!!
So to be clear, she'll trundle along in your Porsche, finish her apple and just lob the core on the floor to fester, or chuck a half finished sandwich into the footwell and leave it for you to scurry out and collect later? Within the big scheme of thing it's no big deal & life's too short to worry about it. Each time I come back I empty the contents out of each car & pile them up on the kitchen table or in the front hall for her to tidy up. Rubbish, coats, shoes, whatever!!
And you're cool with her doing that in your lovely car, which presumably she must know you care about - it's not just some company snotter you despise?
Wow.
People really do have very different fundamental behaviour expectations...
VAZ2107FanClub said:
Apparently this is the mumsnet for men, so here goes.
I've called on a break with my girlfriend due to the fact that I question our future together - it's not that I don't feel anything for her, because I do - a lot in fact. We argue every now and then, but what couples don't. The reason why I question my future with her is because she is inherently lazy - her immediate family are very lazy. I may sound like I feel that I'm too good for her, but it's not that, it's just the state she lives in irritates me, you can imagine.
Were both in our early 20's and I'm currently saving up the deposit to buy our own place, she says by then things will change, however by then it'll be too late by that point and make the break up more complicated - and how can I take her word on this when every bit of evidence points towards the opposite (she's lazy). For instance, I bought her a car, only a little run around, which now looks like a skip inside with food wrappers etc.
Has anyone ever found themselves in a situation like this and do they change?
Why would she change later, when she could change now? The only thing you can go on is real, consistent evidence of a change of behaviour.I've called on a break with my girlfriend due to the fact that I question our future together - it's not that I don't feel anything for her, because I do - a lot in fact. We argue every now and then, but what couples don't. The reason why I question my future with her is because she is inherently lazy - her immediate family are very lazy. I may sound like I feel that I'm too good for her, but it's not that, it's just the state she lives in irritates me, you can imagine.
Were both in our early 20's and I'm currently saving up the deposit to buy our own place, she says by then things will change, however by then it'll be too late by that point and make the break up more complicated - and how can I take her word on this when every bit of evidence points towards the opposite (she's lazy). For instance, I bought her a car, only a little run around, which now looks like a skip inside with food wrappers etc.
Has anyone ever found themselves in a situation like this and do they change?
Having said that what car did you buy? Perhaps she's more of a Vaz 21106 kind of girl?
Ari said:
GT03ROB said:
There are not really his & her cars on the drive. But yes each of the cars she uses so Porsche, Range Rover or Fiat.
Within the big scheme of thing it's no big deal & life's too short to worry about it. Each time I come back I empty the contents out of each car & pile them up on the kitchen table or in the front hall for her to tidy up. Rubbish, coats, shoes, whatever!!
So to be clear, she'll trundle along in your Porsche, finish her apple and just lob the core on the floor to fester, or chuck a half finished sandwich into the footwell and leave it for you to scurry out and collect later? Within the big scheme of thing it's no big deal & life's too short to worry about it. Each time I come back I empty the contents out of each car & pile them up on the kitchen table or in the front hall for her to tidy up. Rubbish, coats, shoes, whatever!!
And you're cool with her doing that in your lovely car, which presumably she must know you care about - it's not just some company snotter you despise?
Wow.
People really do have very different fundamental behaviour expectations...
I can't believe so many of you have such messy (female) partners...
My best friend is one of those that dumps rubbish in the car but the house is always clean/ tidy - I thought she was an exception to the rule, I didn't realise it was so common
My car is always tidy, I am constantly removing my bf's drinks bottles, car/ motorbike parts, items of clothing from my cars. I have just spent a week driving round with my back seats down and a set of freshly painted race fairings in there, I didn't want to remove them for fear of scratching them so had to nag him daily until he removed them
My best friend is one of those that dumps rubbish in the car but the house is always clean/ tidy - I thought she was an exception to the rule, I didn't realise it was so common
My car is always tidy, I am constantly removing my bf's drinks bottles, car/ motorbike parts, items of clothing from my cars. I have just spent a week driving round with my back seats down and a set of freshly painted race fairings in there, I didn't want to remove them for fear of scratching them so had to nag him daily until he removed them
GT03ROB said:
Ari said:
GT03ROB said:
There are not really his & her cars on the drive. But yes each of the cars she uses so Porsche, Range Rover or Fiat.
Within the big scheme of thing it's no big deal & life's too short to worry about it. Each time I come back I empty the contents out of each car & pile them up on the kitchen table or in the front hall for her to tidy up. Rubbish, coats, shoes, whatever!!
So to be clear, she'll trundle along in your Porsche, finish her apple and just lob the core on the floor to fester, or chuck a half finished sandwich into the footwell and leave it for you to scurry out and collect later? Within the big scheme of thing it's no big deal & life's too short to worry about it. Each time I come back I empty the contents out of each car & pile them up on the kitchen table or in the front hall for her to tidy up. Rubbish, coats, shoes, whatever!!
And you're cool with her doing that in your lovely car, which presumably she must know you care about - it's not just some company snotter you despise?
Wow.
People really do have very different fundamental behaviour expectations...
We have very different views on what it's ok to leave in the car, if she was using mine and leaving food in there to rot I'd take the keys with me.
It was bad enough trying to get her to put diesel in the Q7, I came home from offshore 3 trips in a row to find it empty. On the 4th trip I didn't fill it and just used my motorbike instead, so when she used it to drop her dad off at the airport it ran out.
My wife is messy and she's a hoarder. She has boxes and boxes of magazines from the early 1990's that we are not allowed to throw away because "they might come in useful". She decides on a new hobby every year or so and buys loads of stuff for it and then gradually gives up and just leaves everything. She gets it from her dad who is very disorganised, untidy and wasteful of money e.g. he will buy 3 of something because he knows he will lose 2 of them.
I'm more of a minimalist and prefer tidiness. When the house is untidy it actually causes me depression and I get withdrawn and moody, and probably most of our arguments
Despite this we have lasted 27 years had have 2 lovely kids but it can be a rough ride
I'm more of a minimalist and prefer tidiness. When the house is untidy it actually causes me depression and I get withdrawn and moody, and probably most of our arguments
Despite this we have lasted 27 years had have 2 lovely kids but it can be a rough ride
gmaz said:
My wife is messy and she's a hoarder. She has boxes and boxes of magazines from the early 1990's that we are not allowed to throw away because "they might come in useful". She decides on a new hobby every year or so and buys loads of stuff for it and then gradually gives up and just leaves everything. She gets it from her dad who is very disorganised, untidy and wasteful of money e.g. he will buy 3 of something because he knows he will lose 2 of them.
I'm more of a minimalist and prefer tidiness. When the house is untidy it actually causes me depression and I get withdrawn and moody, and probably most of our arguments
Despite this we have lasted 27 years had have 2 lovely kids but it can be a rough ride
Do you find her looking at the Create and Craft channel ?I'm more of a minimalist and prefer tidiness. When the house is untidy it actually causes me depression and I get withdrawn and moody, and probably most of our arguments
Despite this we have lasted 27 years had have 2 lovely kids but it can be a rough ride
There is some seriously deluded crap on there
GT03ROB said:
I could make a fuss but it wouldn't change anything. It would still happen. So where do you go with it? "Yes judge I want a divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behavior, she leaves apple cores in the Porsche." As I said in the big scheme of things it doesn't make that much difference. In relationships it's worth picking your battles.
I prefer 'In relationships, it's worth picking a woman who is on your side so you don't have to pick and choose which fights to have and which to avoid'.I expect yours is much prettier though...
Yipper said:
Laziness is usually a sign of underlying illness. Disease, minor or major, physical, oral or psychological, tires the body and leaves it less willing to do the normal everyday things, like tidying up. Before giving her the heave-ho, see if she has a problem with her teeth, bloods, periods, etc. A few trips to the doc could be transformative.
Hmm, next time my girlfriend starts moanin' that I didn't do the dishes, I'm going to say that I'm disabled and very ill )Crikey, I'm female and the interior of my cars have always been spotless. You wouldn't find so much as a screwed up receipt in my car. Do people not take pride in their rides? I had no idea I was so unusual.
Anyway, OP you mentioned that she has said she will change she'll just change tomorrow (when you have your own place). Sorry but if she wants to make the change (either because she sees the benefit herself, or she sees how important it is to you) then she'd be doing it now, irrespective of where she is. The change of location doesn't affect someone's ability to pick up after themselves.
Anyway, OP you mentioned that she has said she will change she'll just change tomorrow (when you have your own place). Sorry but if she wants to make the change (either because she sees the benefit herself, or she sees how important it is to you) then she'd be doing it now, irrespective of where she is. The change of location doesn't affect someone's ability to pick up after themselves.
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