Discussion
Blanchimont said:
Your Dad has been reasonable from the start, having initially expressed concerns, which is fine.
Your Mum has demanded to have a +1, then come in and started barking out these demands and making the threats.
I would be un-inviting your Mum as it's not your Dad at fault.
Of course it is. If he'd kept it in his pants they'd still be married and there would be no issue. Your Mum has demanded to have a +1, then come in and started barking out these demands and making the threats.
I would be un-inviting your Mum as it's not your Dad at fault.
Pothole said:
Blanchimont said:
Your Dad has been reasonable from the start, having initially expressed concerns, which is fine.
Your Mum has demanded to have a +1, then come in and started barking out these demands and making the threats.
I would be un-inviting your Mum as it's not your Dad at fault.
Of course it is. If he'd kept it in his pants they'd still be married and there would be no issue. Your Mum has demanded to have a +1, then come in and started barking out these demands and making the threats.
I would be un-inviting your Mum as it's not your Dad at fault.
Im afraid the simple answer is to tell her shes not welcome at the wedding. You wont enjoy the day if her potential behaviour is in the back of your mind.
My mother was being a PITA whilst we were organising our wedding. I eventually had enough and told her she wasn't coming. She wound her neck in from then on.
My mother was being a PITA whilst we were organising our wedding. I eventually had enough and told her she wasn't coming. She wound her neck in from then on.
"I'm really disappointed Mum. I thought you wanted the best for me. If my OH threatened to ruin something this important to you, I'd dump her. I wouldn't want to be with someone who could do that.
If you actually ruined our big day, you'd really hurt me and if you're capable of that, then in exactly the same way I wouldn't want you in my life. We would be finished. No Birthdays, no Christmases, no Sunday teas, no access to grandchildren, no hope of reconciliation.
I'm sorry but I will not run the risk of you ruining our wedding. You can't in all honesty guarantee that you'll behave on our big day.
I won't allow this to create a break between us that can never be mended, so you leave me no choice. Do not come to my wedding."
If you actually ruined our big day, you'd really hurt me and if you're capable of that, then in exactly the same way I wouldn't want you in my life. We would be finished. No Birthdays, no Christmases, no Sunday teas, no access to grandchildren, no hope of reconciliation.
I'm sorry but I will not run the risk of you ruining our wedding. You can't in all honesty guarantee that you'll behave on our big day.
I won't allow this to create a break between us that can never be mended, so you leave me no choice. Do not come to my wedding."
I think the above post is a good one.
Your parents and those older than you have a right to be respected as a default postion. They do not have a right to be respected no matter what.
Given what you have posted you have more of a duty to your future wife and family than your mother in this instance. Do not feel this is you being selfish whatsoever.
Your parents and those older than you have a right to be respected as a default postion. They do not have a right to be respected no matter what.
Given what you have posted you have more of a duty to your future wife and family than your mother in this instance. Do not feel this is you being selfish whatsoever.
DELETED: Comment made by a member who's account has been deleted.
In hindsight we wish that we hadn't invited my wife's family. We knew what a
holes they were and what they'd do. They wanted to cause trouble from the start and did everything they could to disrupt the wedding before, during and even after the event (however they did fail 
).Nanook is spot on with this and we regret not doing similar.
At least she kicked off before the day and you know what you're dealing with. It could have been the case that she waited and then kicked off on the day with no warning. I'm with the exclude crowd, it is now on her to demonstrate why she can be trusted to attend, with the starting position as stay away.
johnwilliams77 said:
mjb1 said:
This, all day long. Let her go on the hen do, she'll get pissed and kick off. Then tell her in no way will she be coming to the wedding. Better to let her make a scene at the hen do than to ruin the big day itself. Plus, you'll be well out of the way when the st hits the fan!
ft hits the fan!k thatI'd tell her she's not welcome to either
The thing is, even if she does manage to hold her tongue throughout the wedding day, you are aware of the unease and significant potential for her to kick off, so is you wife to be, along with most of the near family on both sides. You're all going to spend the day on edge just waiting for it to happen. Even if you manage to keep it from the front of your mind, and even if she does behave, the thought of it will still be there somewhere, simmering away, adding extra stress to the event.
Uninvite her and she'll come grovelling back in a couple of days, and that's your best chance of making her realise that she needs to behave. If she doesn't show some contrition, then your big day clearly was never that important to her in the first place.
Blanchimont said:
Pothole said:
Blanchimont said:
Your Dad has been reasonable from the start, having initially expressed concerns, which is fine.
Your Mum has demanded to have a +1, then come in and started barking out these demands and making the threats.
I would be un-inviting your Mum as it's not your Dad at fault.
Of course it is. If he'd kept it in his pants they'd still be married and there would be no issue. Your Mum has demanded to have a +1, then come in and started barking out these demands and making the threats.
I would be un-inviting your Mum as it's not your Dad at fault.
Pothole said:
Irrelevant. Disconnect before screwing around.
Not sure I can make the join between two adults divorcing and how a parent behaves at their child's wedding. "Your Dad had an affair so I'm going to ruin your wedding by making a loud and obnoxious scene at some point during the day."Council way of thinking.
Cold said:
Pothole said:
Irrelevant. Disconnect before screwing around.
Not sure I can make the join between two adults divorcing and how a parent behaves at their child's wedding. "Your Dad had an affair so I'm going to ruin your wedding by making a loud and obnoxious scene at some point during the day."Council way of thinking.
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