Mums have it easy
Discussion
Emanresu said:
Thank you. Someone finally gets it. I bust my balls 10 hours a day, 6 days a week and my wife sits at home nattering with her friends on the phone or watching loose women or some other s
te on tv. 'Because I have to wait for ruoinujemanresu to come home from school'.
Same.te on tv. 'Because I have to wait for ruoinujemanresu to come home from school'. I work ten hour days, three kids (two at home) to look after, cook, clean, do the diy, service and run two cars, maintain a large garden with various animals/pets, middle son just been accepted to a private school for A Levels in Sept so lots going on at the moment... oh, an no financial or moral support from ex partner who doesn't work and probably sits around all day watching Loose Women or some other s
te on tv...Yours faithfully
A Mum
My wife took a year "off" with each of our kids and you know what I hope she did have a nice easy time (I actively encouraged it) as she was bringing a new life into the world.
If I got home and the house was trashed and still full of mum's and kids chatting and playing it was great. Eventually they all went and we cleared up together.
If I got home and the house was trashed and still full of mum's and kids chatting and playing it was great. Eventually they all went and we cleared up together.
No way in a month of Sunday's would I (a) wish to be stuck at home (b) looking after the children (c) doing all the house stuff.
going to work is far far far easier and less stressful.
although with children, they do get older and its all far easier- but baby stuff through to 5 years- forget it
going to work is far far far easier and less stressful.
although with children, they do get older and its all far easier- but baby stuff through to 5 years- forget it
WestyCarl said:
My wife took a year "off" with each of our kids and you know what I hope she did have a nice easy time (I actively encouraged it) as she was bringing a new life into the world.
If I got home and the house was trashed and still full of mum's and kids chatting and playing it was great. Eventually they all went and we cleared up together.
Let us know what you really think when she's not sat next to you. If I got home and the house was trashed and still full of mum's and kids chatting and playing it was great. Eventually they all went and we cleared up together.
C0ffin D0dger said:
I go to work to escape from my kids 
TBH I don't really care what my missus is doing during my work hours, I'd just rather she was doing it than me
this is my perspective tbh ... my mrs does all sorts all day long with our 2yr old and she is advancing great and has a great vocabulary and general learning already, I dont think I would have had the patience, attenuation, commitment that the Mrs has had ... plus its not that big a hardship her not having a job and then spending a small fortune on childcare! TBH I don't really care what my missus is doing during my work hours, I'd just rather she was doing it than me
Gretchen said:
Emanresu said:
Thank you. Someone finally gets it. I bust my balls 10 hours a day, 6 days a week and my wife sits at home nattering with her friends on the phone or watching loose women or some other ste on tv. 'Because I have to wait for ruoinujemanresu to come home from school'.
Same.te on tv. 'Because I have to wait for ruoinujemanresu to come home from school'. I work ten hour days, three kids (two at home) to look after, cook, clean, do the diy, service and run two cars, maintain a large garden with various animals/pets, middle son just been accepted to a private school for A Levels in Sept so lots going on at the moment... oh, an no financial or moral support from ex partner who doesn't work and probably sits around all day watching Loose Women or some other s
te on tv...Yours faithfully
A Mum
And your still trying too decide if to give it another go with your footballer Ex that was too needy ahh bless?
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
Is this for real?
I worked 3 days a week in a demanding job and was at home the other 4 on my own as Ex husband couldn't cope with a 3 week old and fked off. Luckily I had a bit more backbone.
I loved my son dearly (still do but he is 19 so nowadays I am just food provision duties when back from Uni) but it was hard work. When they are small you do not get any time as they are constantly demanding and my son was very sweet natured and relaxed. You can't just plonk him in front of the tv and waltz around doing nothing. They need food, entertainment and then you have to cook and do the laundry and other household chores.
When the weather is crap the soft play areas were a godsend so I could get out of the house and wear him out. Work was my refuge in those years.
I worked 3 days a week in a demanding job and was at home the other 4 on my own as Ex husband couldn't cope with a 3 week old and f
ked off. Luckily I had a bit more backbone.I loved my son dearly (still do but he is 19 so nowadays I am just food provision duties when back from Uni) but it was hard work. When they are small you do not get any time as they are constantly demanding and my son was very sweet natured and relaxed. You can't just plonk him in front of the tv and waltz around doing nothing. They need food, entertainment and then you have to cook and do the laundry and other household chores.
When the weather is crap the soft play areas were a godsend so I could get out of the house and wear him out. Work was my refuge in those years.
Of course it's not just black and white, there will be males and females who find the role difficult for various reasons. But it was merely an observation that quite a large number of mums moan about how difficult the job is, but I am finding it incredibly easy and very rewarding - it is genuinely great fun!
Today I have;
- Helped my wife get ready and made her sandwiches.
- Got children up, teeth brushed, dressed, made eldest cereal and fed my youngest a pot of jam.
- Tidied up the kitchen, did the dishwasher.
- Taken the bins out.
- Played Daddy monster with the children (youngest has no idea what's going on but loves it).
- Hide and seek.
- Put youngest to bed, set eldest up with arts/crafts which she is very good at doing on her own now.
- Made this topic and then played some Rocket League.
- Made lunch for us, took eldest to school in the sun.
- Popped to the shops to get some bits.
- Now youngest is in the high chair eating remains of eldest daughters fish fingers.
Compare that with a day as a mechanic or lecturer, it's literally heaven. Most of the chores I'd have to do anyway...
It's great fun!
Today I have;
- Helped my wife get ready and made her sandwiches.
- Got children up, teeth brushed, dressed, made eldest cereal and fed my youngest a pot of jam.
- Tidied up the kitchen, did the dishwasher.
- Taken the bins out.
- Played Daddy monster with the children (youngest has no idea what's going on but loves it).
- Hide and seek.
- Put youngest to bed, set eldest up with arts/crafts which she is very good at doing on her own now.
- Made this topic and then played some Rocket League.
- Made lunch for us, took eldest to school in the sun.
- Popped to the shops to get some bits.
- Now youngest is in the high chair eating remains of eldest daughters fish fingers.
Compare that with a day as a mechanic or lecturer, it's literally heaven. Most of the chores I'd have to do anyway...
It's great fun!
0000 said:
WestyCarl said:
My wife took a year "off" with each of our kids and you know what I hope she did have a nice easy time (I actively encouraged it) as she was bringing a new life into the world.
If I got home and the house was trashed and still full of mum's and kids chatting and playing it was great. Eventually they all went and we cleared up together.
Let us know what you really think when she's not sat next to you. If I got home and the house was trashed and still full of mum's and kids chatting and playing it was great. Eventually they all went and we cleared up together.
However, maybe I'm old fashioned, but I still don't get it. Why would you not want someone you love to have it easy? Of course not necessarily at your own cost, but I'm at work, that doesn't change whether she's having a tough time or coffee all day with her mates.
SpeedMattersNot said:
Of course it's not just black and white, there will be males and females who find the role difficult for various reasons. But it was merely an observation that quite a large number of mums moan about how difficult the job is, but I am finding it incredibly easy and very rewarding - it is genuinely great fun!
Today I have;
- Helped my wife get ready and made her sandwiches.
- Got children up, teeth brushed, dressed, made eldest cereal and fed my youngest a pot of jam.
- Tidied up the kitchen, did the dishwasher.
- Taken the bins out.
- Played Daddy monster with the children (youngest has no idea what's going on but loves it).
- Hide and seek.
- Put youngest to bed, set eldest up with arts/crafts which she is very good at doing on her own now.
- Made this topic and then played some Rocket League.
- Made lunch for us, took eldest to school in the sun.
- Popped to the shops to get some bits.
- Now youngest is in the high chair eating remains of eldest daughters fish fingers.
Compare that with a day as a mechanic or lecturer, it's literally heaven. Most of the chores I'd have to do anyway...
It's great fun!
I think thats classed as LIVING THE DREAM.Today I have;
- Helped my wife get ready and made her sandwiches.
- Got children up, teeth brushed, dressed, made eldest cereal and fed my youngest a pot of jam.
- Tidied up the kitchen, did the dishwasher.
- Taken the bins out.
- Played Daddy monster with the children (youngest has no idea what's going on but loves it).
- Hide and seek.
- Put youngest to bed, set eldest up with arts/crafts which she is very good at doing on her own now.
- Made this topic and then played some Rocket League.
- Made lunch for us, took eldest to school in the sun.
- Popped to the shops to get some bits.
- Now youngest is in the high chair eating remains of eldest daughters fish fingers.
Compare that with a day as a mechanic or lecturer, it's literally heaven. Most of the chores I'd have to do anyway...
It's great fun!
Well done
Fitting thread for me as I'm on paternity leave at the moment, also have a 2.5yr old at home.
I find it all quite simple and enjoyable. It just takes a little organisation. All household tasks can be done in the morning quite easily, leaving time to get on with the more seldom done tasks like cleaning the oven/microwave/toilet/car in the afternoon, things my wife never does.
I think it's just an attitude thing really. When I get up I put the washing machine on for example, then start with breakfast. My wife puts the washing machine on at 3pm so it's not done until the daylight starts to go which is when I get in from work so it's me (muggings) that has to hang it up (in the bathroom with the dehumidifier on) when really it could have all been dried, folded and put away by then with a little foresight.
My dad said they covered this issue a few months back on the radio, a full time stay at home dad phoned in to tell everyone how easy it was and got a huge amount of phone calls from mums trying to challenge him about it, but he responded with that he does the same as them including feeding (albeit not off the breast), and still finds time to do plenty of other things. I think he had 4 kids too, but wife was the higher earner so she got the money in.
I find it all quite simple and enjoyable. It just takes a little organisation. All household tasks can be done in the morning quite easily, leaving time to get on with the more seldom done tasks like cleaning the oven/microwave/toilet/car in the afternoon, things my wife never does.
I think it's just an attitude thing really. When I get up I put the washing machine on for example, then start with breakfast. My wife puts the washing machine on at 3pm so it's not done until the daylight starts to go which is when I get in from work so it's me (muggings) that has to hang it up (in the bathroom with the dehumidifier on) when really it could have all been dried, folded and put away by then with a little foresight.
My dad said they covered this issue a few months back on the radio, a full time stay at home dad phoned in to tell everyone how easy it was and got a huge amount of phone calls from mums trying to challenge him about it, but he responded with that he does the same as them including feeding (albeit not off the breast), and still finds time to do plenty of other things. I think he had 4 kids too, but wife was the higher earner so she got the money in.
I expect it depends on the kids you have to look after, and I think this is in part down to the parents. If you take an interest, do the best job you can, keep the kids entertained and stimulated they're more likely to be decent kids and in turn need less effort. If you think of the whole thing as a chore, the kids pick up on it, become a PITA and you have to spend all your time moaning about how awful it all is rather than paying them any attention, so they act up more.
I don't think looking after kids is easier or harder than work, just different, they're both challenging. Helps if you have a sense of humour. At work I don't have to deal with a 2 year old who is so pleased he's done a wee on his potty then accidentally spills it over the floor in the excitement while trying to show his mum. But exploring the local woods with a toddler (real life bear hunt adventure) and getting covered in mud and leaves is way more fun than meetings that drag on for ages.
I don't mind doing the evening routine, bath, PJ's clean teeth, story, milk, bedtime etc after work as its great bonding time. But then it's still me tiling the bathroom until 10pm! They don't mention stuff like that on mumsnet (before anyone says anything I do my fair share of cooking, washing, cleaning bathroom, hoovering etc.).
My brother in law is taking 6 months off so his partner can go back to work early (high flying city accountant), have to say I'm quite envious of that!
I don't think looking after kids is easier or harder than work, just different, they're both challenging. Helps if you have a sense of humour. At work I don't have to deal with a 2 year old who is so pleased he's done a wee on his potty then accidentally spills it over the floor in the excitement while trying to show his mum. But exploring the local woods with a toddler (real life bear hunt adventure) and getting covered in mud and leaves is way more fun than meetings that drag on for ages.
I don't mind doing the evening routine, bath, PJ's clean teeth, story, milk, bedtime etc after work as its great bonding time. But then it's still me tiling the bathroom until 10pm! They don't mention stuff like that on mumsnet (before anyone says anything I do my fair share of cooking, washing, cleaning bathroom, hoovering etc.).
My brother in law is taking 6 months off so his partner can go back to work early (high flying city accountant), have to say I'm quite envious of that!
Edited by lufbramatt on Tuesday 21st March 14:50
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