Mums have it easy

Author
Discussion

Emanresu

311 posts

88 months

Thursday 23rd March 2017
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Gretchen said:
Emanresu said:
Thank you. Someone finally gets it. I bust my balls 10 hours a day, 6 days a week and my wife sits at home nattering with her friends on the phone or watching loose women or some other ste on tv. 'Because I have to wait for ruoinujemanresu to come home from school'.
Same.

I work ten hour days, three kids (two at home) to look after, cook, clean, do the diy, service and run two cars, maintain a large garden with various animals/pets, middle son just been accepted to a private school for A Levels in Sept so lots going on at the moment... oh, an no financial or moral support from ex partner who doesn't work and probably sits around all day watching Loose Women or some other ste on tv...

Yours faithfully

A Mum
We have a lot in common. We should go on a date if you have time.

littlegreenfairy

10,133 posts

220 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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It isn't hard, it's relentless. Do it right and give everything you have and its knackering.

All I want is to pee on my own 😂

littlegreenfairy

10,133 posts

220 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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(And congratulations, you've made it on to mumsnet)

DonkeyApple

54,934 posts

168 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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littlegreenfairy said:
It isn't hard, it's relentless. Do it right and give everything you have and its knackering.

All I want is to pee on my own ??
The same as when you need a waz when walking the dog but instead of throwing a stick into the undergrowth to buy time you lob a tictac under the sofa. biggrin

littlegreenfairy

10,133 posts

220 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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DonkeyApple said:
The same as when you need a waz when walking the dog but instead of throwing a stick into the undergrowth to buy time you lob a tictac under the sofa. biggrin
thumbup
Chocolate buttons a little out of reach.

Never had a dog or peed outside so unaware of the trick biggrin

Wacky Racer

38,099 posts

246 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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I bet around half the men posting on this thread are doing this from "work"...rolleyes

I have three lads over 30, and Mrs WR has certainly not "had it easy"....holding unsocial hour jobs down whilst raising three kids.

She now deserves to put her feet up a little....

DonkeyApple

54,934 posts

168 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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littlegreenfairy said:
thumbup
Chocolate buttons a little out of reach.

Never had a dog or peed outside so unaware of the trick biggrin
I'm sure my girls will be quite messed up being raised as if dogs but while they still find it amusing it makes my life very easy. biggrin

Marshmallows out the car window when they are being over emotional works wonders as well. Large enough and light enough to be clearly visible as they float through the air and trundle away.

Leptons

5,113 posts

175 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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I do the mum role and Run a business. Stay at home mums are lazy shysters egged on by all the other stay at home lazy shysters who tell them they're doing a great job. Usually their day involves "Dashing" to do the school run, sharing some bullst motivational memes on face and then "Dashing" to do the school run again. 3:30pm comes around fast you know.

silent ninja

863 posts

99 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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Mum's give up their career, at least experience significant setbacks, to bring up children. Imagine the stop/start nature of it all. They get busy with investing personal time and energy in to kids, that they sort of lose their identity. It's a lot of personal energy.

You can be stressed, overworked and underpaid, but by and large work stays at work. Kids are a constant drain. My kids are 11 and 14 and i gotta spend a lot of time helping them with their homework. If it wasn't for their mum taking them to all their appointments, looking after the house, doing grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, feeding...Then it'd be chaos at home. She's the glue keeping us together.

037

1,315 posts

146 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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My mate made me laugh recently. He pointed at a group of women with prams and small kids and said " look at em, they st out a kid then hang their boots up"

NicheMonkey

458 posts

127 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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Spare a thought for all the mums who've gone through hell with children with disabilities, there's hospitals full of them up and down the country. My wife gave birth then spent 18 months in hospital with our son without going home

Ive spent considerable time in hospitals with my son and the things I've seen mums go through and how they function with no sleep immense stress all in a very stressful environment. I've seen a mum who had a daughter on a the high dependency unit for 6 years, unable to move or communicate yet the mother spent every single day with her all while looking after other children. There's an army of women who go through things like this everyday and it's the mums who are the ones in the children's units at 4am with gravely Ill children.

They are truly amazing things mums and not all of them have it easy.

Edited by NicheMonkey on Friday 24th March 22:24

Gretchen

18,998 posts

215 months

Friday 24th March 2017
quotequote all
Emanresu said:
Gretchen said:
Emanresu said:
Thank you. Someone finally gets it. I bust my balls 10 hours a day, 6 days a week and my wife sits at home nattering with her friends on the phone or watching loose women or some other ste on tv. 'Because I have to wait for ruoinujemanresu to come home from school'.
Same.

I work ten hour days, three kids (two at home) to look after, cook, clean, do the diy, service and run two cars, maintain a large garden with various animals/pets, middle son just been accepted to a private school for A Levels in Sept so lots going on at the moment... oh, an no financial or moral support from ex partner who doesn't work and probably sits around all day watching Loose Women or some other ste on tv...

Yours faithfully

A Mum
We have a lot in common. We should go on a date if you have time.
We do but from what you've describedI don't sound like your type. Probably the opposite. Tell your wife she's lucky to have you wink



Leptons

5,113 posts

175 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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texaxile said:
It has suddenly hit home reading part of this thread.

I've been looking after my 9 year old and on my own for the thick end of a month now. Every morning I drop her off to school, a good number of the mum's are in their gym gear (bright trainers and tops, tight black leggings) wearing far too much make up for their trip to the personal trainer at the gym, while the others are making their way to the coffee shop next door to Tesco's. The self righteous opinionated man hating hag (aged 30 something) two doors up has a little group of fellow hags who manage to polish off 3 bottles of prosecco every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning no doubt gossiping about the haggard looking bloke 2 doors down with 3 cars on his driveway and the fact his daughter wore the same trousers to school 2 days in a row. I'm expecting Social Services round this week. I pity her A4 driving husband while she preens around in a 66 Qashqai.

I get fed up of dodging the chatting mums on the walk home.

My routine is finish work, get daughter from my parents or from school depending upon my shift. Cook meal, put washing machine on, fill dishwasher, hoover up if needed, empty washer, empty dishwasher , dry clothes meanwhile iron the stuff left over from yesterday. Pants, socks and vests don't need ironing, neither do my T shirts for work, so all I do is iron school stuff.

Shower for Jr, homework done, read story and bed by 8:30.

I don't know how these women manage to convince their husbands that their life is tough. If going to the gym, drinking prosecco and poncing around coffee shops half the day is hard work then I'm in the wrong job.
Well said. It's usually the type of bloke defending them that ends up losing the house and god knows how much money when it turns out her indoors has been on her back all afternoon with big Tony from the gym.

DonkeyApple

54,934 posts

168 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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NicheMonkey said:
Spare a thought for all the mums who've gone through hell with children with disabilities, there's hospitals full of them up and down the country. My wife gave birth then spent 18 months in hospital with our son without going home
That's the thing. My girls are a piece of piss to look after and I find it a laugh dealing with all their bks and housework is just a spot of basic admin that can be breezed through . Those two elements combined make it an easy job to raise them, run a home and while fitting it all around running a business. When one of those elements is missing I don't envy anyone.

Depression is remarkably common among new mothers. I suspect most don't even realise that's why a spot of domestic chores and taking children to school seems so difficult. Simply not connecting with children and so not able to relate and deal with their actions easily also seems very common and simply not something you truly discover until you have children. And obviously, have hyper children or children with learning issues or any illness wholly changes the dynamic.

But when I hear parents whinging about not having time to indulge in retail therapy, how complex and taxing cleaning a toilet is or how hard it is to get a child to school, I can't say I have any respect for such silliness.

Northbloke

643 posts

218 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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Well I worked from home for 10 years and had full hands on with 3 kids in a supporting role (school runs, doctors, play time etc). Wife had a a part time charity job (her choice) but was still main organiser/carer.

My general take is:

Up to 2 years old - flipping hard work: nappies, getting up at night, crying etc. A long relentless slog. Wife got more feedback (biological I think) from this period than me but tough for her.
2 to 5 - still hard (as they want your 100% attention) but bloody great fun. I am so glad I had this time with them.
5-10 - when at school, absolute piece of p*ss and also great fun. Social aspect with other parents can be fantastic. Looking after kids for my wife = stick them in the garden with their pals whilst yummy mummies knock back several bottles of Chardonnay. Oh and stick a pizza in.

So overall I'm in the "it's way easier than a stressful job" camp with huge emotional benefits. Great and just how it should be.

Lots of variables so different for everyone of course. IMHO women who try to do both are mad: way too stressful and can't enjoy the good times as easily.

Now teenagers, that's a totally different argument. Enjoy them when they want to know you!

vonuber

17,868 posts

164 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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I am so glad I don't have to look after our two girls who are 2 and 4 months and get to escape to work. Just the two year old for a day is hard work, let alone both of them.

SBDJ

1,320 posts

203 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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I think a lot of it is circumstantial. Some people take to some tasks better than others; organisation and discipline play a part as does obviously the temperament of the child(ren) and the enthusiasm of the parent too.

I'm a single dad, at home during the day looking after my 8 year old heavily disabled son who is currently off school recovering from major hip surgery and his younger 3-going-on-13 brother. I also have a full time job and obviously housework and things to do too, as well as more hospital appointments than you can imagine! So whilst I'm not convinced that it's the arduous task some mums make it out to be, it can certainly be challenging and tiring depending on the circumstances.

From being on that other side looking after the kids I can tell you there is an awful lot of prejudice against stay at home dads from some mothers. I had a quick look at the mumsnet thread that links to this one, and one of the latter post lists a load of things that make a 'mum' amazing. Of their list only two are actually exclusive to mums - the rest could be either parent.

In fact:

NicheMonkey said:
There's an army of women who go through things like this everyday and it's the mums who are the ones in the children's units at 4am with gravely Ill children.
I'd like to point out that is me. I'm not a woman. If this was the other way round it would be classic sexism.

Edited by SBDJ on Saturday 25th March 00:06

texaxile

3,289 posts

149 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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DELETED: Comment made by a member who's account has been deleted.
I actually deleted my post but it was quoted by BM Leptons which is fair point, as I didn't want to sound like I was moaning given the previous post (made as I was writing mine) about the sacrifices made by some Mums looking after disabled / needy kids.

Until I read the absolute load of ste that you, Tinrobot managed to post. Jesus Christ why don't you get a life. . Since when has making factual observations been "sexist"?. Ironic seeing as you label us all as "blokesnet".

I'll bear that in mind. BTW where did you buy your mangina?.

Edited by texaxile on Friday 24th March 23:33


Edited by texaxile on Friday 24th March 23:36

texaxile

3,289 posts

149 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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Feel free to quote me: Texaxile told millenial snowflake who took issue with "blokesnet" to "get a life"

Because if pointing out pathetic grammer issues or trying to gain kudos by taking the moral high ground is your be all and end all in life, then be my guest.

You fking prick. where did you buy your mangina?


texaxile

3,289 posts

149 months

Friday 24th March 2017
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Well, she didn't actually leave me intentionally.