Mums have it easy
Discussion
keirik said:
If it was that hard they wouldn't all be doing it, they'd be paying someone and going out and earning more money.
Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
Seriously, it takes 10minutes to Hoover out whole house, 2 minutes to fill a dishwasher, same with a washing achieve and tumble dryer.
Rest of the day is playing with your kids or blocking coffee shops with a buggy
Did you not read the Mumsnet thread above?Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
Seriously, it takes 10minutes to Hoover out whole house, 2 minutes to fill a dishwasher, same with a washing achieve and tumble dryer.
Rest of the day is playing with your kids or blocking coffee shops with a buggy
You can't do that because your overly needy child won't let you do it because you're too busy enabling the overly needy behaviour!
louiebaby said:
Warning - Low quality rant ahead...
---
I am married, and have a dog, a 6 year old (school age) and 4 year old (does 2 days at pre-school). I work a typical 9-5 office job, and my wife does an afternoon and a morning a week in the local library. She is otherwise a "stay at home Mum".
I get up at 6:30, walk the dog, and then get changed to leave for work at 8am. I usually get home at 6pm, when the kids are usually partway through dinner. I help with bath and bed time, then take the dog out for a second walk, and get back by 8-8:30pm. Then I do home admin or help out with the housework, watch a bit of TV with the wife, and head to bed by 10-10:30pm.
We've agreed pink or blue jobs depending on who's responsibility it is, but we do help each other out.
The house is a mess, the laundrey basket is overflowing, and there is often a days worth of dishes on the side when I get in from work. (All agreed as a pink jobs.)
The garden is a mess. (All except mowing the lawn is agreed as a pink job.)
The garage is tidy. (Agreed as a blue job.)
The car is maintained and such like. (Agreed as a blue job.)
The car is un-washed, but was hoovered out last weekend. (Agreed as a blue job, but she does give the kids croissants the day after I hoover it, so it feels like she's working against me on this one.)
With the majority of the pink jobs not really done to a half decent standard, she has recently taken on an allotment (which is stupid in my opinion), goes into school to help with reading (which very I am supportive of) and is considering Dog Agility from September when the small one goes to school.
The kids are doing great, but it does feel like she could get more done during the day whilst still having well raised kids.
When I am on duty on a Sat morning, when she's at work, I manage to take them swimming, do a couple of loads of washing, sort out the dishwasher and make them lunch. I set them off playing in the lounge with a bit of direction, and then can get some stuff done whilst dropping in an out to check they're OK.
I don't want to swap with her, but I do think she could make a better job of it. I'm having a yearly PDR at work this afternoon. If I could give her a PDR, there are a few areas that would be marked off as "Needs Improvement."
Of course it's hard to bring this all up, because I don't get much sex as it is, and I don't really want to go down to none.
The reality of married life.---
I am married, and have a dog, a 6 year old (school age) and 4 year old (does 2 days at pre-school). I work a typical 9-5 office job, and my wife does an afternoon and a morning a week in the local library. She is otherwise a "stay at home Mum".
I get up at 6:30, walk the dog, and then get changed to leave for work at 8am. I usually get home at 6pm, when the kids are usually partway through dinner. I help with bath and bed time, then take the dog out for a second walk, and get back by 8-8:30pm. Then I do home admin or help out with the housework, watch a bit of TV with the wife, and head to bed by 10-10:30pm.
We've agreed pink or blue jobs depending on who's responsibility it is, but we do help each other out.
The house is a mess, the laundrey basket is overflowing, and there is often a days worth of dishes on the side when I get in from work. (All agreed as a pink jobs.)
The garden is a mess. (All except mowing the lawn is agreed as a pink job.)
The garage is tidy. (Agreed as a blue job.)
The car is maintained and such like. (Agreed as a blue job.)
The car is un-washed, but was hoovered out last weekend. (Agreed as a blue job, but she does give the kids croissants the day after I hoover it, so it feels like she's working against me on this one.)
With the majority of the pink jobs not really done to a half decent standard, she has recently taken on an allotment (which is stupid in my opinion), goes into school to help with reading (which very I am supportive of) and is considering Dog Agility from September when the small one goes to school.
The kids are doing great, but it does feel like she could get more done during the day whilst still having well raised kids.
When I am on duty on a Sat morning, when she's at work, I manage to take them swimming, do a couple of loads of washing, sort out the dishwasher and make them lunch. I set them off playing in the lounge with a bit of direction, and then can get some stuff done whilst dropping in an out to check they're OK.
I don't want to swap with her, but I do think she could make a better job of it. I'm having a yearly PDR at work this afternoon. If I could give her a PDR, there are a few areas that would be marked off as "Needs Improvement."
Of course it's hard to bring this all up, because I don't get much sex as it is, and I don't really want to go down to none.
For most women having kids is effectively retirement while they send the husband out to the plantation all day. As above, forget sex as you won't be having very much of that anymore. The best you can hope for is a quick hand job to shut you up when your pawing her gets too much. Although she tells you she is "not interested in sex" the important bit she is not telling you is "with you". Trust me she is still lusting after the next door neighbours 21 year old son when he cuts the grass with his top off.
My ex-wife was the same, two children in school full time and she hadn't worked in six years. That ment she was free every day Monday to Friday from 9:00 AM to 3:15 PM.
You would think with six hours free a day the house would be immaculate, but I was lucky if she had managed to do the laundry in that time. My weekends would be spent Gardening, cleaning and maintaining the cars, doing the food shopping and cleaning the house.
The sink would always be full of dirty plates that were "soaking" and I used to spend a good three hours every weekend cleaning the kitchen. As soon as I finished I guarantee she would come in, make a sandwich and then leave every thing out on the side.
Full time mummy is just Facebook code for "found a wallet"
g3org3y said:
keirik said:
If it was that hard they wouldn't all be doing it, they'd be paying someone and going out and earning more money.
Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
Cynical? Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
If you genuinely feel that's the case, I'd suggest you're probably keeping company with the wrong sort of women.
keirik said:
Seriously, it takes 10minutes to Hoover out whole house
You should work harder (or send your other half to work) and maybe you'd be able to buy a bigger house. 
Seriously 10 minutes is enough time to Hoover the 5 bed house, never mind the cottage in Essex.
I picked a proper woman who worked full time at the Blue Oval as an engineer until she retired a month ago. Even she doesn't know what all these busy mother's do all day
Joey Deacon said:
The reality of married life.
For most women having kids is effectively retirement while they send the husband out to the plantation all day. As above, forget sex as you won't be having very much of that anymore. The best you can hope for is a quick hand job to shut you up when your pawing her gets too much. Although she tells you she is "not interested in sex" the important bit she is not telling you is "with you". Trust me she is still lusting after the next door neighbours 21 year old son when he cuts the grass with his top off.
My ex-wife was the same, two children in school full time and she hadn't worked in six years. That ment she was free every day Monday to Friday from 9:00 AM to 3:15 PM.
You would think with six hours free a day the house would be immaculate, but I was lucky if she had managed to do the laundry in that time. My weekends would be spent Gardening, cleaning and maintaining the cars, doing the food shopping and cleaning the house.
The sink would always be full of dirty plates that were "soaking" and I used to spend a good three hours every weekend cleaning the kitchen. As soon as I finished I guarantee she would come in, make a sandwich and then leave every thing out on the side.
Full time mummy is just Facebook code for "found a wallet"
Not having been blessed with children, I can only speak to the experiences of my friends. For most women having kids is effectively retirement while they send the husband out to the plantation all day. As above, forget sex as you won't be having very much of that anymore. The best you can hope for is a quick hand job to shut you up when your pawing her gets too much. Although she tells you she is "not interested in sex" the important bit she is not telling you is "with you". Trust me she is still lusting after the next door neighbours 21 year old son when he cuts the grass with his top off.
My ex-wife was the same, two children in school full time and she hadn't worked in six years. That ment she was free every day Monday to Friday from 9:00 AM to 3:15 PM.
You would think with six hours free a day the house would be immaculate, but I was lucky if she had managed to do the laundry in that time. My weekends would be spent Gardening, cleaning and maintaining the cars, doing the food shopping and cleaning the house.
The sink would always be full of dirty plates that were "soaking" and I used to spend a good three hours every weekend cleaning the kitchen. As soon as I finished I guarantee she would come in, make a sandwich and then leave every thing out on the side.
Full time mummy is just Facebook code for "found a wallet"
More than a small amount of them have fallen foul of EXACTLY this. By comparison I've managed to make my midlife crisis last over twenty years.
Joey Deacon said:
The sink would always be full of dirty plates that were "soaking" a
AhahahahahahahahThat strikes a chord with me, my Mrs to be fair does an awful lot around the house, probaby 70-75% to my 30-25% and generally the house is pretty tidy, but she doesn't like doing the washing up! :-)
xjay1337 said:
Joey Deacon said:
The sink would always be full of dirty plates that were "soaking" a
AhahahahahahahahThat strikes a chord with me, my Mrs to be fair does an awful lot around the house, probaby 70-75% to my 30-25% and generally the house is pretty tidy, but she doesn't like doing the washing up! :-)
Looking after a kid isn't easy, of course it's not but personally I find it less stressful than my job.
I have a one year old, I am out of the house 12-13 hours a day working in central London. My job consists of ensuring two teams do what they're meant to do, as long as my own work load. It's stressful and it's tiring but it ensures I have a decent house, cars and overall good lifestyle.
My other half is out of the house roughly half that during the week, works locally but only three days of the week. She will often moan she's had a hard day and I don't doubt that ensuring a 1 year old maniac doesn't damage itself isn't always easy.
The difference is that said child sleeps 2-3 hours a day, there's no one breathing down her neck to do her job properly, if she wants to go out and take the wee one she can, no one is criticising if the vacuuming gets done today or tomorrow etc.
On the flip side there is a difference between how difficult someone finds something and how important it is. I know that what my other half provides at home is as important to family unit as what I provide but from my personal angle, there is a lot less pressure.
I have a one year old, I am out of the house 12-13 hours a day working in central London. My job consists of ensuring two teams do what they're meant to do, as long as my own work load. It's stressful and it's tiring but it ensures I have a decent house, cars and overall good lifestyle.
My other half is out of the house roughly half that during the week, works locally but only three days of the week. She will often moan she's had a hard day and I don't doubt that ensuring a 1 year old maniac doesn't damage itself isn't always easy.
The difference is that said child sleeps 2-3 hours a day, there's no one breathing down her neck to do her job properly, if she wants to go out and take the wee one she can, no one is criticising if the vacuuming gets done today or tomorrow etc.
On the flip side there is a difference between how difficult someone finds something and how important it is. I know that what my other half provides at home is as important to family unit as what I provide but from my personal angle, there is a lot less pressure.
keirik said:
Nope. We have no kids and are very happily retired in our mid 50s in a 5 bed cottage in North Wales, with another house in Essex and a BTL also in Essex.
Seriously 10 minutes is enough time to Hoover the 5 bed house, never mind the cottage in Essex.
I picked a proper woman who worked full time at the Blue Oval as an engineer until she retired a month ago. Even she doesn't know what all these busy mother's do all day
You ever wondered if the reason she doesn't know what mothers do all day is because you don't have kids? Seriously 10 minutes is enough time to Hoover the 5 bed house, never mind the cottage in Essex.
I picked a proper woman who worked full time at the Blue Oval as an engineer until she retired a month ago. Even she doesn't know what all these busy mother's do all day
keirik said:
If it was that hard they wouldn't all be doing it, they'd be paying someone and going out and earning more money.
Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
Seriously, it takes 10minutes to Hoover out whole house, 2 minutes to fill a dishwasher, same with a washing achieve and tumble dryer.
Rest of the day is playing with your kids or blocking coffee shops with a buggy
This is the first time I've proper 'LOL'ed' in a long time, so I thank you keirikTheir lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
Seriously, it takes 10minutes to Hoover out whole house, 2 minutes to fill a dishwasher, same with a washing achieve and tumble dryer.
Rest of the day is playing with your kids or blocking coffee shops with a buggy
Looking after the (2 & 4 year old) kids is extremely challenging if you bother to do it properly, give them a balanced nutritional diet rather than giving them the crap they eat easily like chips. If you do varied and interesting stuff with them to stimulate them, take them swimming, take them to groups, drop them off at a better pre school that is a ball ache of a drive through heavy traffic. And in a few moments of peace there’s a ton of washing up and cleaning to do. It is not easy and you have to concentrate watch them activity all the time. They are up at 7am, hours before many start work, they go to bed at 7/8 and often don’t go straight off.
I am always relieved at the end of a family holiday to be back at work as it is less effort and I work in a senior managerial role in a sales team
It is not easy when they are tiny that’s for sure
I am always relieved at the end of a family holiday to be back at work as it is less effort and I work in a senior managerial role in a sales team
It is not easy when they are tiny that’s for sure
Integroo said:
You ever wondered if the reason she doesn't know what mothers do all day is because you don't have kids?
And having kids in the house significantly increases the amount of tidying/cleaning required when compared to a retired couple. I mean, what mess do retired people create? Involuntary weeing/pooing on the carpet on occasion? That said, me and my good lady wife both work (full time) and juggle the children (6&7) by each working at home one day a week and help from the folks. One of us will start early and finish early in order to pick up boys on way home, the other starts late and finishes late in order to get the boys to school.
This 'mum' doesn't have it 'easy', but it is manageable.
Edited by Dr Murdoch on Wednesday 10th April 16:34
Wow there is some women hate going on in here lol. Keep it up :Du
It all depends on circumstances and expectations. I have had to wrestle with the balance in my relationship a lot lately. When my son was younger I expected to come home at 5 and the house be clean and dinner planned. Since my son has developed severe needs and I have taken over my family business the natural order has gone to the wall.
I regularly work long hours and even when I’m home thinking about work. My wife is a saint who has to act as a constant safety aid for my son as well as trying to do all of his specialist play with him to help him develop. She some how managed to get the washing done and keep most of the house vaguely clean. When I get home though the room my son is in will no doubt be a war zone and the kitchen will need cleaning because she doesn’t have time to clean up after making lunch.
I then ave to take my son off her hands so she can clean the kitchen and cook dinner. By the time we get him to bed and I clean up the kitchen and toys etc whilst she has a minute might get an hour or 2 to ourselves before going to bed at midnight.
It seams to be quite balanced at the moment but we are both flat out all the time.
At least the sex life is still going strong though.
At times we have both blamed each other for not doing enough.
In comparison to my wife’s council friend who some how managed to swindle going back to college whilst the government pays for her child to be in childcare even during the school holidays. Then her mum takes him in the evenings so she can go out. I worked out she only spends 9 hours a week with him. To top it off her son is a genius desperately trying to get his mothers approval he try’s to join in with adult conversations just to be involved with her. He gets told to shut up to go and play. It’s really sad to watch he came to stay for a weekend my wife taught him how to count in 2 hours this kid was so excited to just have some onee take an interest. He is only 3.
It all depends on circumstances and expectations. I have had to wrestle with the balance in my relationship a lot lately. When my son was younger I expected to come home at 5 and the house be clean and dinner planned. Since my son has developed severe needs and I have taken over my family business the natural order has gone to the wall.
I regularly work long hours and even when I’m home thinking about work. My wife is a saint who has to act as a constant safety aid for my son as well as trying to do all of his specialist play with him to help him develop. She some how managed to get the washing done and keep most of the house vaguely clean. When I get home though the room my son is in will no doubt be a war zone and the kitchen will need cleaning because she doesn’t have time to clean up after making lunch.
I then ave to take my son off her hands so she can clean the kitchen and cook dinner. By the time we get him to bed and I clean up the kitchen and toys etc whilst she has a minute might get an hour or 2 to ourselves before going to bed at midnight.
It seams to be quite balanced at the moment but we are both flat out all the time.
At least the sex life is still going strong though.
At times we have both blamed each other for not doing enough.
In comparison to my wife’s council friend who some how managed to swindle going back to college whilst the government pays for her child to be in childcare even during the school holidays. Then her mum takes him in the evenings so she can go out. I worked out she only spends 9 hours a week with him. To top it off her son is a genius desperately trying to get his mothers approval he try’s to join in with adult conversations just to be involved with her. He gets told to shut up to go and play. It’s really sad to watch he came to stay for a weekend my wife taught him how to count in 2 hours this kid was so excited to just have some onee take an interest. He is only 3.
V1nce Fox said:
Also, if possible a dishwasher is a bloody life changer. Didn't have one growing up or until about five years ago but I'd never not have one now. Last one blew up about a month ago and it got replaced instantly. They're the housekeeping equivalent of a Dremel.
I was in a dishwasherless house this week and found washing up was no grind which surprised me. It's the letting it build up that really gets you. If you do it as soon as it pops up then it's manageable. Anyway I would still rather be digging ditches or cleaning up the remains of rotten pensioners than sit at home with a child all day. It's not necessarily the effort, it would be the utter boredom. I know mother nature doses you with enough drugs to think everything your child does is wonderful but I doubt it would do the job on me.
keirik said:
g3org3y said:
keirik said:
If it was that hard they wouldn't all be doing it, they'd be paying someone and going out and earning more money.
Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
Cynical? Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
If you genuinely feel that's the case, I'd suggest you're probably keeping company with the wrong sort of women.
keirik said:
Seriously, it takes 10minutes to Hoover out whole house
You should work harder (or send your other half to work) and maybe you'd be able to buy a bigger house. Seriously 10 minutes is enough time to Hoover the 5 bed house, never mind the cottage in Essex.
Emanresu said:
Thank you. Someone finally gets it. I bust my balls 10 hours a day, 6 days a week and my wife sits at home nattering with her friends on the phone or watching loose women or some other s
te on tv. 'Because I have to wait for ruoinujemanresu to come home from school'.
I know this comment is 2 years old but this isn't a 'mum' problem. This is a 'lazy women' problem combined with an 'ineffective communicating husband who is afraid to stoke up a conflict with the wife' problemte on tv. 'Because I have to wait for ruoinujemanresu to come home from school'. Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff