New neighbour moved in my street who spits in my garden??

[Jonmx]

Just a guess as you're on PH and you say your wife likes working in the garden; Is your house the one with the nice car and the well kept garden on the street? If so, Neanderthal man is probably jealous that you have decent things (albeit you have worked for them) whilst his life is well, a bit st.
I'd have a word with him about it, make sure you have your phone recording in your pocket in case it goes balls up. Maybe some HD cctv to name and shame him on YouTube/local media if he doesn't desist.

[steviegunn]

Garden sprinkler and a remote switch, he spits in, the garden spits back.

[Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah]

steviegunn said:

Garden sprinkler and a remote switch, he spits in, the garden spits back.

That is a good idea actually.

[parabolica]

Up the stakes and stockpile your own spit in a pint glass and ambush him next time he walks past. Make sure to be topless with mud spread across your chest, and make primal howling noises so he knows you're well mental and not to be messed with.

[OzzyR1]

Next time he spits in your garden, run out and ps on him.

Maintain eye contact at all times, do not break your gaze.

That should assert your dominance over him, I can't think of a single thing that could go wrong.

[MitchT]

Been there. Different species. The only answer it to move to a nicer area.

[anonymous-user]

Gob on his door step.

[BlackLabel]

Next time he's passing smile, say hello and ask him how he is and if he's settled into the neighbourhood okay. If you're no longer a stranger to him he'll spit elsewhere.

[Rich_W]

BlackLabel said:

Next time he's passing smile, say hello and ask him how he is and if he's settled into the neighbourhood okay. If you're no longer a stranger to him he'll spit elsewhere.

This one first.


Then if it still happens. Film it and send it to the Police.

Or say he spat AT you.
https://www.askthe.police.uk/content/Q145.htm

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2430724/Fi...
(sorry for link source)

Edited by Rich_W on Sunday 26th March 17:02

[Willy Nilly]

1) dominate your garden;

2) practise syncronised gobbing with your missus;

3) buy a really drooly dog, or a cow, they drool a lot.

The bloke's probably all wind and piss anyway.

[J4CKO]

BlackLabel said:

Next time he's passing smile, say hello and ask him how he is and if he's settled into the neighbourhood okay. If you're no longer a stranger to him he'll spit elsewhere.

Yeah, just be super polite and nice, get him on side, no point antagonising him, he will see you as a good thing and perhaps not gob in your garden, if he continues, just mention it as "someone gobbed on my car the other day", he will get the message.

[Spare tyre]

Social housing ?

[Sheets Tabuer]

start a new hobby rating his spit for technique, volume, distance and consistency.

Does anyone remember gob of the month?

[robbocop33]

steviegunn said:

Garden sprinkler and a remote switch, he spits in, the garden spits back.

I like that!The misses does put a lot of effort into the garden,its a corner house and the garden's quite large.Mostly private houses in the street,non council but a few of them being let out to anyone basically.
It is,well was a nice area,seems to be a popular misconception here that people in posh areas don't spit?
Do you all have the saliva sucked out your mouth with a little tube,saved into a colostomy type bag,then save it up for the little street urchin on the corner to give your brogues a bit of spit and polish(obviously your Gin soaked phlegm will be better than the urchins gruely phlegm on Italian leather!)
God,how the other have live! ;-),every area can have it's idiots,believe me!

Edited by robbocop33 on Sunday 26th March 18:38

[ikarl]

Garden fork or spade next to the front door, if you seeing him coming down the street walk outside as if to do some gardening, if he spits say something.

If he wants a fight after seeing you with said fork/spade.... move.

[mybrainhurts]

How's about all of us coming over, hide under the fence, then give him a synchronised salvo from close range?

Or we could abduct him and feed him to the nuns...

[austinsmirk]

It can be a problem this, when you live in Belgium.......

[robbocop33]

ikarl said:

Garden fork or spade next to the front door, if you seeing him coming down the street walk outside as if to do some gardening, if he spits say something.

If he wants a fight after seeing you with said fork/spade.... move.

Good one!

[Leptons]

Buy a fence?

7 Kids? How uncouth. He probably doesn't live there officially, shop them in for benefit fraud he may dissapear.

[Vantagemech]

Make a recording of the sound of an old Wild West spittoon, then when he walks past, video him and at the right time play the soundtrack. See if he realises what it is and keep recording on subsequent occasions. If he doesnt stop, send the tape to youve been framed and claim your prize.....