Geek Jokes Volume 0b10
Discussion
The "joke" below has now become a reality. I got in my Tesla yesterday and it was just dead, black screen, couldn't put it in drive or reverse etc. So I did the Tesla equivalent of Ctrl-Alt-Del. Nothing. So I got out, locked it, unlocked it and got back in. Hey presto, it comes to life.
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. “Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again”, says the mechanical engineer. “Well”, says the chemical engineer, “it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system.” “I thought it might be a grounding problem”, says the electrical engineer, “or maybe a faulty plug lead.” They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: “Well, what do you think?” “Ummm perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?”
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. “Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again”, says the mechanical engineer. “Well”, says the chemical engineer, “it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system.” “I thought it might be a grounding problem”, says the electrical engineer, “or maybe a faulty plug lead.” They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: “Well, what do you think?” “Ummm perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?”
gmaz said:
The "joke" below has now become a reality. I got in my Tesla yesterday and it was just dead, black screen, couldn't put it in drive or reverse etc. So I did the Tesla equivalent of Ctrl-Alt-Del. Nothing. So I got out, locked it, unlocked it and got back in. Hey presto, it comes to life.
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. “Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again”, says the mechanical engineer. “Well”, says the chemical engineer, “it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system.” “I thought it might be a grounding problem”, says the electrical engineer, “or maybe a faulty plug lead.” They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: “Well, what do you think?” “Ummm perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?”
The version I know is "Close all the windows, switch off the engine, get out of the car and get back in again"There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. “Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again”, says the mechanical engineer. “Well”, says the chemical engineer, “it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system.” “I thought it might be a grounding problem”, says the electrical engineer, “or maybe a faulty plug lead.” They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: “Well, what do you think?” “Ummm perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?”
(It's the bonus gag of closing all the windows)
Reminded me of the old one about Bill Gates saying that if the automotive industry had advanced as quickly as computer technology we'd all be driving $25 cars that did 1000 mpg, prompting the supposed reply from GM...
If GM had developed technologies like Microsoft cars would would have the following characteristics:
Amusingly the last one is actually true these days!
If GM had developed technologies like Microsoft cars would would have the following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
- Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason, you would simply accept this.
- Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.
- The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “General Protection Fault” warning light.
- The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
- Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
- Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
- You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
Amusingly the last one is actually true these days!
RizzoTheRat said:
Reminded me of the old one about Bill Gates saying that if the automotive industry had advanced as quickly as computer technology we'd all be driving $25 cars that did 1000 mpg, prompting the supposed reply from GM...
If GM had developed technologies like Microsoft cars would would have the following characteristics:
Amusingly the last one is actually true these days!
When your 7 yr old, well functioning electric car stops working and you take it to a repair shop, they laugh at you and say "no we can't fix it, it's obsolete, throw it away and buy a new one"If GM had developed technologies like Microsoft cars would would have the following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
- Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason, you would simply accept this.
- Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.
- The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “General Protection Fault” warning light.
- The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
- Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
- Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
- You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
Amusingly the last one is actually true these days!
And you do.
If EVs were like computer tech. Most of them would run the same base components and protocols and would benefit from shared economy of scale with interchangeable parts, making cheap democratised function available (where's the Raspberry Pi of EVs?)
All apart from one EV manufacturer who just has to be different and charges a 50% premium for their specialness......
RizzoTheRat said:
Reminded me of the old one about Bill Gates saying that if the automotive industry had advanced as quickly as computer technology we'd all be driving $25 cars that did 1000 mpg, prompting the supposed reply from GM...
If GM had developed technologies like Microsoft cars would would have the following characteristics:
Amusingly the last one is actually true these days!
Hasn't that one happened? If GM had developed technologies like Microsoft cars would would have the following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
- Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason, you would simply accept this.
- Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.
- The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “General Protection Fault” warning light.
- The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
- Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
- Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
Amusingly the last one is actually true these days!
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