What's the most embarrassing thing you've done?
Discussion
Trackside and me were at a Classic and Sportscar show a couple of years ago and were standing at a stand selling a load of old magazines, one of which was an original of the Dukes of Hazzard. I've starting harping on about how excellent they are and how I wanted to be Daisy Duke when I grew up. It's not unusual for Gary to ignore me when I start chuntering on, so I poked him and said "answer me you git!" I turned to him with an indignant look on my face to realise to my horror that it was a complete stranger and Gary was standing over the other side of the room laughing his head off.
Had something similar to that with my fella.
He's well known for wandering off if I am looking at something, so there we are in a shop looking at clothes (hey, he was going to pay!), he had been really good and was staying by my side, I picked something up and said 'what do you think of this', to which this really nice guy who I had never set eyes on before said 'very nice, but I think it looks better in the blue'
He's well known for wandering off if I am looking at something, so there we are in a shop looking at clothes (hey, he was going to pay!), he had been really good and was staying by my side, I picked something up and said 'what do you think of this', to which this really nice guy who I had never set eyes on before said 'very nice, but I think it looks better in the blue'
I hired a scooter with my bro and spent the day hooning around and halving a great time...we were practicing knee down in a large empty car park when a couple of wee fellas..10-12 years of age begged for a pillion which we reluctantly agreed to ( no spare helmets )...things were going well until my passenger starts fighting the bike while I`m trying to tighten the line to avoid a nasty curb...I soon realise were not gonna make it and I quickly decide that striking it cranked over is not a good move and so, sit it up and go for a nice approach in the hope we might `land` it........We go flying upwards in a leap Ricky Carmicael would be proud of only to find were also skewing onto our side...Thud!!!....."what are you doing..." pipes the voice behind as I pick the machine up, climb aboard throwing the wee guy a cursory "are you OK ..."
...Before making myself scarce.....not clever I know but we were young...
Later that night while fuelling up notice a young lad frantically waving from the backseat of a car giving the thumbs up...my impromptu companion!!...Another quick exit..!
...Before making myself scarce.....not clever I know but we were young...
Later that night while fuelling up notice a young lad frantically waving from the backseat of a car giving the thumbs up...my impromptu companion!!...Another quick exit..!
Once sitting in the lounge with girlfriend and her mum, drinking tea. The mum says she needs to go upstairs to the toilet. As she walks out the room we immediately go at it on the sofa like porn stars. Couple of minutes later we hear the toilet door open, so up comes her top, I do the business and top comes down JUST as her mum walks in. We act all innocent and she sits down. About a minute later mum says "Ooooh luv, you've spilt your tea all down your top, i'll go and get you a cloth.......... 
Hrm, the Tesco fart one reminds me of when I was in Boots with someone who shall remain nameless. Suffice to say, an air biscuit capable of vaporising Devon was dropped by said nameless individual who ran off to the perfume department and swears blind to this day that the clapper-rattler didn't emenate from their bowels. I was left standing there in a cloud of combustibles with everyone looking at me because I smelled like a 
dumpster.
dumpster.Many years ago, me at an inter-school swimming contest, sitting there in my speedos waiting for my race. Looked up to discover that the viewers' balcony above me was floored in grating, and that I was sitting right underneath a couple of beskirted girl spectators. Obviously, good single-sex public school boy that I was, this flash of school girl's knickers led to severe wood, and I'm talking oak.
"Phweeeet, senior breaststroke competitors to your blocks!". I had to stand up and hobble to the diving blocks trying to disguise my boner barely contained in my tented Speedos. Wasn't savvy enough back then to do a false start and hit the cold water, so had to stand there on the block looking at my new rudder waiting for the whistle, blushing with my entire body...
"Phweeeet, senior breaststroke competitors to your blocks!". I had to stand up and hobble to the diving blocks trying to disguise my boner barely contained in my tented Speedos. Wasn't savvy enough back then to do a false start and hit the cold water, so had to stand there on the block looking at my new rudder waiting for the whistle, blushing with my entire body...
nel said:
Many years ago, me at an inter-school swimming contest, sitting there in my speedos waiting for my race. Looked up to discover that the viewers' balcony above me was floored in grating, and that I was sitting right underneath a couple of beskirted girl spectators. Obviously, good single-sex public school boy that I was, this flash of school girl's knickers led to severe wood, and I'm talking oak.
"Phweeeet, senior breaststroke competitors to your blocks!". I had to stand up and hobble to the diving blocks trying to disguise my boner barely contained in my tented Speedos. Wasn't savvy enough back then to do a false start and hit the cold water, so had to stand there on the block looking at my new rudder waiting for the whistle, blushing with my entire body...
What, A Diamond Cutter
Oh yeah, and one that my best friend did, again many years ago. As stoodents, out shopping while completely baked after some toking, went into a shop and sauntered up to the till to ask the shop assistant some question or other. While my friend was talking to the shop assistant, another customer next to him moved. For some reason my friend had subconciously marked this customer down as a store mannequin, so when she moved he pounced on her to stop "the dummy" falling over.
Imagine his surprise at finding his arms full of live and very indignant human being - he backed away apologising and we left at speed, with me nearly wetting myself...
Imagine his surprise at finding his arms full of live and very indignant human being - he backed away apologising and we left at speed, with me nearly wetting myself...
nel said:
Oh yeah, and one that my best friend did, again many years ago. As stoodents, out shopping while completely baked after some toking, went into a shop and sauntered up to the till to ask the shop assistant some question or other. While my friend was talking to the shop assistant, another customer next to him moved. For some reason my friend had subconciously marked this customer down as a store mannequin, so when she moved he pounced on her to stop "the dummy" falling over.
Imagine his surprise at finding his arms full of live and very indignant human being - he backed away apologising and we left at speed, with me nearly wetting myself...
when I was 17 yrs old, I started dating my brothers best friend, she was 3 yrs older than me and had very rich well to do parents.
A few weeks into the relationship, the parents decided to go out for a meal. 5 minutes later she's sat on the sturdy kitchen table, me standing in front going at it like you do at that age, when the door handle started to turn on the kitchen door. No time for a withdrawal or a cover up the long skirt was "arranged" and I stood there as though we were having a hug. The mother announced the car battery was flat so they were going to eat in
25 minutes later, we are still in the same position, my legs burning from trying to hold up my undone jeans, them bustling around with their quick meal preperations before finally taking the food into the dining room. We 'disengaged', thinking we'd successfully covered up our antics only to have the father come in 5 minutes later in tears of laughter to tell me her knickers resting on my feet had been a bit of a give away. They'd only come back in to pick up his glasses but having seen the situation couldn't resist prolonging the moment
Second most embarressing was giving a girlfriends arse a really good squeeze while out shopping, only to find she was no longer standing beside me and some large bloke had replaced her. Telling him I thought he was my girlfriend didn't seem to appease him much either.
>> Edited by Davi on Wednesday 22 March 21:25
A few weeks into the relationship, the parents decided to go out for a meal. 5 minutes later she's sat on the sturdy kitchen table, me standing in front going at it like you do at that age, when the door handle started to turn on the kitchen door. No time for a withdrawal or a cover up the long skirt was "arranged" and I stood there as though we were having a hug. The mother announced the car battery was flat so they were going to eat in
25 minutes later, we are still in the same position, my legs burning from trying to hold up my undone jeans, them bustling around with their quick meal preperations before finally taking the food into the dining room. We 'disengaged', thinking we'd successfully covered up our antics only to have the father come in 5 minutes later in tears of laughter to tell me her knickers resting on my feet had been a bit of a give away. They'd only come back in to pick up his glasses but having seen the situation couldn't resist prolonging the moment
Second most embarressing was giving a girlfriends arse a really good squeeze while out shopping, only to find she was no longer standing beside me and some large bloke had replaced her. Telling him I thought he was my girlfriend didn't seem to appease him much either.
>> Edited by Davi on Wednesday 22 March 21:25
I was once sent to fetch the shoot Land rover, from where it had been parked at the beginning of the drive to where the beaters now were. So i walked up and fetched it, and razzed cooly up to the gang of beaters, (with throttle blipping on the downchange etc) and stopped. I leapt out, and my right trouser leg got caught on the step, i toppled, turned 180', and fell on my arse, leg still attached to Landrover.
Laughter ensued and i ended up red as the following smilie:
Laughter ensued and i ended up red as the following smilie:
I was working in Plymouth today, and just across the road from me a guy was putting a pay and display ticket inside his windscreen. Having done that he opened the rear door and leaned across the back seat to get something. He got out, turned, and in one swift movement smacked his head hard on a lamp-post about six inches back from where he parked. It was all I could do to stop laughing as he staggered round holding his head for what seemed minutes...
When I got married one of my wife's best friends came up to me and grabbed me fully on the backside. 'Hi Ant, congratulations'. 'Err, I'm Geoff', came the reply - she was feeling up my brother thinking it was me...
And one for me: I was talking to one of our best clients a couple of years ago about a murder case that was very local to us. 'All the evidence seems to point to the father' opined I, 'And these things usually end up as family members who carried it out', I continued, with great authority.
'Well, I'm not so sure meself', said the client, 'I've known him for years and it'd be completely out of character if it was'...
Me: 'Errr .... ummmm, you're probably right' <back tracks furiously>
When I got married one of my wife's best friends came up to me and grabbed me fully on the backside. 'Hi Ant, congratulations'. 'Err, I'm Geoff', came the reply - she was feeling up my brother thinking it was me...
And one for me: I was talking to one of our best clients a couple of years ago about a murder case that was very local to us. 'All the evidence seems to point to the father' opined I, 'And these things usually end up as family members who carried it out', I continued, with great authority.
'Well, I'm not so sure meself', said the client, 'I've known him for years and it'd be completely out of character if it was'...
Me: 'Errr .... ummmm, you're probably right' <back tracks furiously>
While working in Saudi Arabia a coleague and myself had been out to "an illegal drinks party" as they were known and got absolutely pissed. We made our way back to the Riyadh Sheraton hotel and did our best to hold each other up walking through the lobby to the lifts.
We went to our respective rooms and I crashed out on the bed. At approx 3am I woke up needing the toilet, not knowing where the hell I was I took a right turn out the bathroom straight into the corridor and the door closed behind me.
Stood there only in underpants still as drunk as a skunk first priority was a piss, I went out to the fire escape and just let it go. I then had to walk to the lift lobby dressed only in underpants and call security to let me back in the room....his face was a picture, I just said "dont ask"
We went to our respective rooms and I crashed out on the bed. At approx 3am I woke up needing the toilet, not knowing where the hell I was I took a right turn out the bathroom straight into the corridor and the door closed behind me.
Stood there only in underpants still as drunk as a skunk first priority was a piss, I went out to the fire escape and just let it go. I then had to walk to the lift lobby dressed only in underpants and call security to let me back in the room....his face was a picture, I just said "dont ask"
Davi said:
when I was 17 yrs old, I started dating my brothers best friend, she was 3 yrs older than me and had very rich well to do parents.
A few weeks into the relationship, the parents decided to go out for a meal. 5 minutes later she's sat on the sturdy kitchen table, me standing in front going at it like you do at that age, when the door handle started to turn on the kitchen door. No time for a withdrawal or a cover up the long skirt was "arranged" and I stood there as though we were having a hug. The mother announced the car battery was flat so they were going to eat in
25 minutes later, we are still in the same position, my legs burning from trying to hold up my undone jeans, them bustling around with their quick meal preperations before finally taking the food into the dining room. We 'disengaged', thinking we'd successfully covered up our antics only to have the father come in 5 minutes later in tears of laughter to tell me her knickers resting on my feet had been a bit of a give away. They'd only come back in to pick up his glasses but having seen the situation couldn't resist prolonging the moment
Second most embarressing was giving a girlfriends arse a really good squeeze while out shopping, only to find she was no longer standing beside me and some large bloke had replaced her. Telling him I thought he was my girlfriend didn't seem to appease him much either.
>> Edited by Davi on Wednesday 22 March 21:25
that is fantastic 
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