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tigger1
7,514 posts
90 months
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Why oh why does the hot lady in the office always go into the loo immediately after I drop the biggest log ever?
Nobody ever nips in after a quick wee!
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Vesuvius 996
31,959 posts
140 months
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tigger1 said: Why oh why does the hot lady in the office always go into the loo immediately after I drop the biggest log ever?
Nobody ever nips in after a quick wee! She wants a piece of you. She follows you in to breathe deeply and savour the flavour. Leave a few scat mags around and you could be well in!!
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Schnell
Original Poster
23,722 posts
83 months
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Vesuvius 996 said: tigger1 said: Why oh why does the hot lady in the office always go into the loo immediately after I drop the biggest log ever?
Nobody ever nips in after a quick wee! She wants a piece of you. She follows you in to breathe deeply and savour the flavour. 'flavour' 
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Gorvid
19,699 posts
94 months
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tigger1 said: Why oh why does the hot lady in the office always go into the loo immediately after I drop the biggest log ever?
Nobody ever nips in after a quick wee! Because she can park her breakfast under the cover of your steamer...
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Schnell
Original Poster
23,722 posts
83 months
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Gorvid said: tigger1 said: Why oh why does the hot lady in the office always go into the loo immediately after I drop the biggest log ever?
Nobody ever nips in after a quick wee! Because she can park her breakfast under the cover of your steamer...  What a clever idea!
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MK4 Slowride
9,849 posts
77 months
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52classic said: Don't see why people should need to go in work's time anyway.
Hate using communal facilities so I go at home as part of my early morning pre-work ritual. In over 30 years I doubt that i've shat in work more than a dozen times. Change your name to shitbreak (from American pie).
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Schnell
Original Poster
23,722 posts
83 months
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MK4 Slowride said: 52classic said: Don't see why people should need to go in work's time anyway.
Hate using communal facilities so I go at home as part of my early morning pre-work ritual. In over 30 years I doubt that i've shat in work more than a dozen times. Change your name to shitbreak (from American pie). I always thought he was called 'shit brick? Oh well, one new thing learned today 
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Conian
7,523 posts
70 months
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To get to the shitbox her I have to go through one of the production areas, usually where the chicks work. And the door to the bog ONLY goes to the bog so they know exactly where I'm off to.
Robert Newman (ex comedy partner of David Baddiel) once did a skit (that's SKIT) about going to the loo on campsites, walking past some foxy foreign ladies while holding his loo roll and feeling embarassed. Then one day he stopped and said to them, using a french accent.. "That's right.. I use pink tolutt pepper!"
Might have to try that one.
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Bing o
15,184 posts
88 months
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52classic said: Don't see why people should need to go in work's time anyway.
Hate using communal facilities so I go at home as part of my early morning pre-work ritual. In over 30 years I doubt that i've shat in work more than a dozen times. So given the choice of being paid to shit, or using your own time, you woud do it on your own time - how odd. I rarely poo at home, but will go at least twice a day at work!
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tigger1
7,514 posts
90 months
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Gorvid said: tigger1 said: Why oh why does the hot lady in the office always go into the loo immediately after I drop the biggest log ever?
Nobody ever nips in after a quick wee! Because she can park her breakfast under the cover of your steamer... The scheming bitch! I might leave a note on the back of the door next time telling her that when she walks out we're all going to be stood there yelling "shittyarse"...that'll put the brakes on her skids.
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Neil_H
14,756 posts
120 months
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Leftie said: 5MUG said: What is it about men and their utter unselfconsciousness about pooing absolutely anywhere? As far as I know all my female friends (and me) never ever poo in public or work loos unless we are seriously desperate!!
On a lighter note I have seen something in a catalogue that supposedly counteracts the smell if you put a drop of it in the loo first. I think I saw it in 'Presents Direct'!! Worth a try! Happy pooing! and Happy Christmas. S Little story Mrs Leftie tells about overhaeing a conversation between two ladies in adjacent traps in the toilets at a club, talking about what clothes they intended to buy the next day. General chatter about styles, prices etc. and othen the lady in trap 2 asks " what colour are you goping to get?" Reply from trap 1 ; " Nnnnnnnnnavy blue" Now who's not self conscious? Reminds me of something that happened to a mate. He was on a pub crawl as part of a stag weekend and bumped into a hen party - so they handcuffed the hen and stag together. Hen then decides she needs a s  t, so they actually took him in the cubicle while she curled one out, her mate holding a hand over his eyes....he still heard and smelled everything though, unfotunately.  PS Thread bumped for great justice!
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Chilli
16,084 posts
105 months
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Neil_H said: Leftie said: 5MUG said: What is it about men and their utter unselfconsciousness about pooing absolutely anywhere? As far as I know all my female friends (and me) never ever poo in public or work loos unless we are seriously desperate!!
On a lighter note I have seen something in a catalogue that supposedly counteracts the smell if you put a drop of it in the loo first. I think I saw it in 'Presents Direct'!! Worth a try! Happy pooing! and Happy Christmas. S Little story Mrs Leftie tells about overhaeing a conversation between two ladies in adjacent traps in the toilets at a club, talking about what clothes they intended to buy the next day. General chatter about styles, prices etc. and othen the lady in trap 2 asks " what colour are you goping to get?" Reply from trap 1 ; " Nnnnnnnnnavy blue" Now who's not self conscious? Reminds me of something that happened to a mate. He was on a pub crawl as part of a stag weekend and bumped into a hen party - so they handcuffed the hen and stag together. Hen then decides she needs a s t, so they actually took him in the cubicle while she curled one out, her mate holding a hand over his eyes....he still heard and smelled everything though, unfotunately. PS Thread bumped for great justice! An eight month bump...that's pretty impressive.
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Deluded
3,408 posts
60 months
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I've never taken a dump at work. I never need to! I have one first thing in the morning when I get up and then usualy one in the evening after work or just before I go to bed. Epic bumpage. Why were you searching for topics about s t anwyay? :-p
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MartG
2,705 posts
73 months
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Bing o said: So given the choice of being paid to s t, or using your own time, you woud do it on your own time - how odd. I used to s t at work, except on a Friday when I'd save it up for Saturday - much more satisfying s tting on double time These days though a good dump when I get in from work gives me some much needed peace and quiet away from the kids
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colonel c
6,007 posts
108 months
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Just as I was about to leave work today really really needed a poo. So I ended doing a quarter of an hours over time in the bog. Overtime payment will be time and a turd. 
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D-Angle
3,871 posts
111 months
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Just when you thought this thread was flushed away, it bobs back up and says hello. For the second time I might add.
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Rob P
5,597 posts
133 months
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One for the list; Mount Vesuviarse is erupting 
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Rob P
5,597 posts
133 months
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Also, what is the done thing when a persistent floater is refusing to sleep with the fishes when at work?
Risky if you leave and you are met by a colleague coming in to the bog ad you leave. Then again if it doesn't go on the 3rd flush at a push it starts to cause concern.
My technique to based on statistics of bog visits. I wait for someone to enter and then leave, thus assuming another male member of the office will not enter either as he assumes visitor 1 is going for the trap. Sometimes this only leaves a 30sec window but I find its enough.
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Pigeon
18,535 posts
115 months
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Stuff loads and loads of paper on top of it and then flush quickly before the paper gets too soggy, it will act as a piston and push the turd round the bend.
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K50 DEL
5,218 posts
97 months
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This is probably deserving of a thread on its own but as it's the same subject matter!
We've just been notified that a local worker here boarded a chopper flight to the rig apparently suffering from explosive diarrhoea
Caught short mid flight, instead of christening his boiler suit, this guy stood up, pulled his suit off and proceeded to decorate the inside of the chopper.
If anyone has any idea of the thought process that went on prior to that decision feel free to tell us, cos no-one here has any idea!!!
I know about sh!tting on works time, but this seems excessive to me?
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