Things you have done when Drunk ......
Discussion
1.Living in a waterfront flat was not always joyous....after one too many decide to pop to the curry house a few yards away...armed with a carrier bag of steaming deliciousness decide that in order to get chow home at the zenith of its powers to take a short cut with inevitable results....an 'oh f**k' moment followed by a very sobering December late night swim in Bristol docks....curry lost, mobile and iPod ruined and had to , once I'd found a way out negotiate 4 flights of stairs whilst shivering, dripping and smelling more than a little fragrant.....
2. Bought a collection of smurfs on eBay.....hardly financially damaging but a wtf moment when opening parcel....was a responsible 45 at the time..
3. After a work do headed unnanounced to my old folks place... No keys and they'd gone to bed with the house alarm active downstairs...20 odd years previously I'd broken the window catch on my old bedroom....shinned up the ornamental railings onto the garage roof and with impressive (thankfully) coordination walked along the ridge of the garage roof ,pried open the window and gained access with intent of hitting the sack.....my old dear found me cacks round my ankles fast asleep on the bog a few hours later......not impressed....added to the fact that both backside and feet were so numb I couldn't walk for 20 mins and had to roll off the throne....
All very tame by comparison but not my finest hours !!!
2. Bought a collection of smurfs on eBay.....hardly financially damaging but a wtf moment when opening parcel....was a responsible 45 at the time..
3. After a work do headed unnanounced to my old folks place... No keys and they'd gone to bed with the house alarm active downstairs...20 odd years previously I'd broken the window catch on my old bedroom....shinned up the ornamental railings onto the garage roof and with impressive (thankfully) coordination walked along the ridge of the garage roof ,pried open the window and gained access with intent of hitting the sack.....my old dear found me cacks round my ankles fast asleep on the bog a few hours later......not impressed....added to the fact that both backside and feet were so numb I couldn't walk for 20 mins and had to roll off the throne....
All very tame by comparison but not my finest hours !!!
Years back, I started the 2 mile walk back home, after getting pissed in town.
To my surprise, I find a bike unlocked outside a terrace house with what sounds like a party going on inside. I decided to cycle home on the bike and left it at the end of my road- it stayed there for about 2 weeks!
To my surprise, I find a bike unlocked outside a terrace house with what sounds like a party going on inside. I decided to cycle home on the bike and left it at the end of my road- it stayed there for about 2 weeks!
lord trumpton said:
Frank7 said:
andysgriff said:
Everyday pissed mostly, yes I know nothing to be proud of..
Various difficulties or embarrassing situations caused by drink in many different countries/continents
Middlesbrough, fights fights fights in mid 80’s
India, late 80’s - work, on site bar closed due to fighting, stole company jeeps to find beer in local village, altercation with locals, shots fired, thats all I remember.
Libya, mids 90’s . Od’d on locally brewed flash, turned into Elvis karaoked in front of 200 Koreans and spent 3 days in bed with the worst hangove ever, ever.
Canada, drunk driving, cells
Malaysia drunk driving, drove the policeman to the nearest ATM to pay him off
Rio, strayed into wrong part of town and got shot at.
Rinse and repeat for another 20 countries
Nothing to be proud of you say, then go on to list a load of horse feathers Various difficulties or embarrassing situations caused by drink in many different countries/continents
Middlesbrough, fights fights fights in mid 80’s
India, late 80’s - work, on site bar closed due to fighting, stole company jeeps to find beer in local village, altercation with locals, shots fired, thats all I remember.
Libya, mids 90’s . Od’d on locally brewed flash, turned into Elvis karaoked in front of 200 Koreans and spent 3 days in bed with the worst hangove ever, ever.
Canada, drunk driving, cells
Malaysia drunk driving, drove the policeman to the nearest ATM to pay him off
Rio, strayed into wrong part of town and got shot at.
Rinse and repeat for another 20 countries
that mostly probably only existed in your infantile dreams, you melt.
You have a better imagination than Walter Mitty.
, a retard, a SJW ambulance chaser, a student, a muslim, a fking gay libtard, or a typical inbred mouth breathing left wing UK pleb, or any of the above.Pistonheads as it was meant to be is finished.
andysgriff said:
lord trumpton said:
Frank7 said:
andysgriff said:
Everyday pissed mostly, yes I know nothing to be proud of..
Various difficulties or embarrassing situations caused by drink in many different countries/continents
Middlesbrough, fights fights fights in mid 80’s
India, late 80’s - work, on site bar closed due to fighting, stole company jeeps to find beer in local village, altercation with locals, shots fired, thats all I remember.
Libya, mids 90’s . Od’d on locally brewed flash, turned into Elvis karaoked in front of 200 Koreans and spent 3 days in bed with the worst hangove ever, ever.
Canada, drunk driving, cells
Malaysia drunk driving, drove the policeman to the nearest ATM to pay him off
Rio, strayed into wrong part of town and got shot at.
Rinse and repeat for another 20 countries
Nothing to be proud of you say, then go on to list a load of horse feathers Various difficulties or embarrassing situations caused by drink in many different countries/continents
Middlesbrough, fights fights fights in mid 80’s
India, late 80’s - work, on site bar closed due to fighting, stole company jeeps to find beer in local village, altercation with locals, shots fired, thats all I remember.
Libya, mids 90’s . Od’d on locally brewed flash, turned into Elvis karaoked in front of 200 Koreans and spent 3 days in bed with the worst hangove ever, ever.
Canada, drunk driving, cells
Malaysia drunk driving, drove the policeman to the nearest ATM to pay him off
Rio, strayed into wrong part of town and got shot at.
Rinse and repeat for another 20 countries
that mostly probably only existed in your infantile dreams, you melt.
You have a better imagination than Walter Mitty.
, a retard, a SJW ambulance chaser, a student, a muslim, a fking gay libtard, or a typical inbred mouth breathing left wing UK pleb, or any of the above.Pistonheads as it was meant to be is finished.
antspants said:
Friday night I was on a work night out and staying in a hotel, got back around 3am very drunk and can't really recall getting back.
Anyway, whilst asleep I had this really vivid dream about being sat on some stairs somewhere and not being able to find a way out. At some point in the dream I also needed to go to the toilet (not unsurprising after the amount I'd drunk) so made my way to the ground floor and had a pee in the corner in the lobby area.
You know what's coming, not long after that I awoke from my dream to find myself sat on the back stairs of the hotel in my pants!
I went back to my hotel floor, walked down to my room and checked my door, which was obviously locked. Patted myself down looking for my key, that didn't take long as I'd only get a pair of pants on, then walked back to the stairs and stood for a while racking my brains as to what to do, whilst knowing I only had one option.
So I eventually walked down to reception which was deserted - thank god! After a minute an attractive young girl came out to the reception desk, looked me up and down and with a smirk said "morning sir". I replied "I've lost my key", "course you have" she says. Then a guy walks out behind the reception, starts pissing himself laughing and says "well at least you're dressed, kind of".
Key in hand I hurried back to my room, thankfully bumping into nobody else on the way.
What have I learnt from this? Always keep your pants on when getting into bed in a hotel, it could have been far worse!
In all seriousness, you are on the right lines! I am very prone to sleep walking, drunk or sober. I've slept nude since probably 12, but I never sleep nude when staying anywhere other than home, for this very reason! Anyway, whilst asleep I had this really vivid dream about being sat on some stairs somewhere and not being able to find a way out. At some point in the dream I also needed to go to the toilet (not unsurprising after the amount I'd drunk) so made my way to the ground floor and had a pee in the corner in the lobby area.
You know what's coming, not long after that I awoke from my dream to find myself sat on the back stairs of the hotel in my pants!
I went back to my hotel floor, walked down to my room and checked my door, which was obviously locked. Patted myself down looking for my key, that didn't take long as I'd only get a pair of pants on, then walked back to the stairs and stood for a while racking my brains as to what to do, whilst knowing I only had one option.
So I eventually walked down to reception which was deserted - thank god! After a minute an attractive young girl came out to the reception desk, looked me up and down and with a smirk said "morning sir". I replied "I've lost my key", "course you have" she says. Then a guy walks out behind the reception, starts pissing himself laughing and says "well at least you're dressed, kind of".
Key in hand I hurried back to my room, thankfully bumping into nobody else on the way.
What have I learnt from this? Always keep your pants on when getting into bed in a hotel, it could have been far worse!
Tim-D said:
....shinned up the ornamental railings onto the garage roof and with impressive (thankfully) coordination walked along the ridge of the garage roof ,pried open the window and gained access with intent of hitting the sack.....
All very tame by comparison but not my finest hours !!!
Someone older than me at school/ who lived at the end of my street did that, but fell off and ended up being found dead by his parents the next day in the garden, All very tame by comparison but not my finest hours !!!
Tim-D said:
2. Bought a collection of smurfs on eBay.....hardly financially damaging but a wtf moment when opening parcel....was a responsible 45 at the time..
I used to have a bizarre fascination with late night shopping channels when pissed. Bought all sorts of crap including all the Carry On films (on VHS), a car cleaning kit for about £80 (basically some T-cut, Rain-x and a cloth), a steamer kit, 25kg of daffodil bulbs (this is a lot of daffodil bulbs), all the Famous Five books, Scalextric etc.We were on holiday in Cuba some years back & had had a very good night drinking cocktails. Got back to the hotel, the Mrs falls asleep so I do a Rum and Coke from the minibar and put American QVC on. On it, they have a giant rock with water trickling down it, LED lights and some sort of steam/smoke stuff tumbling down the sides of it. As you can imagine, even at $999, this was a must have - a thing of beauty. However, phoning the USA from Cuba & trying to order a rock for delivery to England with a British bank card wasn't that successful. Waking my Mrs up so she could speak to the woman from QVC was probably not in hindsight the best course of action. It cost me a bloody fortune in call charges and I never did get the massive rock
Since a bunch of people mentioned uni, I can now!
Lots and lots of stupid stuff, but throwing the kitchen chairs out of the 12 floor to play “let’s hit the post box” is one of the stupidest.
Drunk, lacking judgement and frankly mad. Apart from the obvious dangerous aspect, how the hell we thought we would get away with it is behind me! The flat number was painted on the back!
This didn’t go down well with the housing people. What were we thinking?
Though waking up in the morning and wondering where the chairs were, then slowly remembering was a feeling I never want to replicate.
Lots and lots of stupid stuff, but throwing the kitchen chairs out of the 12 floor to play “let’s hit the post box” is one of the stupidest.
Drunk, lacking judgement and frankly mad. Apart from the obvious dangerous aspect, how the hell we thought we would get away with it is behind me! The flat number was painted on the back!
This didn’t go down well with the housing people. What were we thinking?
Though waking up in the morning and wondering where the chairs were, then slowly remembering was a feeling I never want to replicate.
northwest monkey said:
I used to have a bizarre fascination with late night shopping channels when pissed. Bought all sorts of crap including all the Carry On films (on VHS), a car cleaning kit for about £80 (basically some T-cut, Rain-x and a cloth), a steamer kit, 25kg of daffodil bulbs (this is a lot of daffodil bulbs), all the Famous Five books, Scalextric etc.
We were on holiday in Cuba some years back & had had a very good night drinking cocktails. Got back to the hotel, the Mrs falls asleep so I do a Rum and Coke from the minibar and put American QVC on. On it, they have a giant rock with water trickling down it, LED lights and some sort of steam/smoke stuff tumbling down the sides of it. As you can imagine, even at $999, this was a must have - a thing of beauty. However, phoning the USA from Cuba & trying to order a rock for delivery to England with a British bank card wasn't that successful. Waking my Mrs up so she could speak to the woman from QVC was probably not in hindsight the best course of action. It cost me a bloody fortune in call charges and I never did get the massive rock
Back in 2001 a UPS man knocked on my door with a $2,000 bicycle. We were on holiday in Cuba some years back & had had a very good night drinking cocktails. Got back to the hotel, the Mrs falls asleep so I do a Rum and Coke from the minibar and put American QVC on. On it, they have a giant rock with water trickling down it, LED lights and some sort of steam/smoke stuff tumbling down the sides of it. As you can imagine, even at $999, this was a must have - a thing of beauty. However, phoning the USA from Cuba & trying to order a rock for delivery to England with a British bank card wasn't that successful. Waking my Mrs up so she could speak to the woman from QVC was probably not in hindsight the best course of action. It cost me a bloody fortune in call charges and I never did get the massive rock
There have been a few, including but not limited to, waking up in a bush, twice, waking up on top of a bus shelter, waking up in my hallway at 6.30 in the morning fully clothed with the front door open and a still wrapped cold kebab on the floor in front of me, waking up after drinking Pernod and black to a huge purple puke stain up the wall beside my bed, rolling over to find the same across the bed/floor away from me, falling down a flight of stairs whilst trying to get up them to the bathroom, three times apparently, then I just gave up and laid there pissing myself whilst giggling uncontrollably, decided I'd drunk enough so left the pub to walk home, I lived in Southampton and the pub in question was in Chandlers Ford, 2 hours later the other guys found me walking down the middle of the road using a traffic cone as aloud hailer screaming "NEENAR NEENAR PULL OVER IT'S THE PIGS!!!" they were in a taxi at the time and nearly ran me over!!!
There are unfortunately more..........................
There are unfortunately more..........................
wow, too many to list, but some noteable examples from over the years.
-got out of a moving car (front seat passenger)
-2 or 3 concussions
-threw up on my cousins chihuahua
-rode around on Pat Sharpe's back
-learnt to play the guitar
-threw up all over a housemates dehumidifier as in my drunk state i thought it was the toilet. she walked in just as i was curled around it and chundering, with a bloke she had brought back for a one nighter...i was stark naked as well.
hehe, good times.
-got out of a moving car (front seat passenger)
-2 or 3 concussions
-threw up on my cousins chihuahua
-rode around on Pat Sharpe's back
-learnt to play the guitar
-threw up all over a housemates dehumidifier as in my drunk state i thought it was the toilet. she walked in just as i was curled around it and chundering, with a bloke she had brought back for a one nighter...i was stark naked as well.
hehe, good times.
designforlife said:
wow, too many to list, but some noteable examples from over the years.
-got out of a moving car (front seat passenger)
-2 or 3 concussions
-threw up on my cousins chihuahua
-rode around on Pat Sharpe's back
-learnt to play the guitar
-threw up all over a housemates dehumidifier as in my drunk state i thought it was the toilet. she walked in just as i was curled around it and chundering, with a bloke she had brought back for a one nighter...i was stark naked as well.
hehe, good times.
Some sort of euphemism?-got out of a moving car (front seat passenger)
-2 or 3 concussions
-threw up on my cousins chihuahua
-rode around on Pat Sharpe's back
-learnt to play the guitar
-threw up all over a housemates dehumidifier as in my drunk state i thought it was the toilet. she walked in just as i was curled around it and chundering, with a bloke she had brought back for a one nighter...i was stark naked as well.
hehe, good times.
Pat Sharpe.
Fell over on the way home from the pub.
Not exactly legend territory yet, I concede, but bear with. Now add big mirrored sunglasses (it was the 80s, I was Stallone in Cobra
), the fact it was pitch black due to being the middle of the night and the fact I was so blootered on Tequila slammers I never made any effort to break my fall or mitigate it in any way. In fact, the first I even knew I was falling over was when the front of my head interfaced abruptly with the back of a parked car.
Spent a happy half hour back home with my brother very kindly (but quite unsympathetically) pulling bits of shattered glass out of my face with some snipe-nose pliers. I still have scars where I managed to essentially separate one of my nostrils from the rest of my face Oh, how cool I looked
Not exactly legend territory yet, I concede, but bear with. Now add big mirrored sunglasses (it was the 80s, I was Stallone in Cobra
), the fact it was pitch black due to being the middle of the night and the fact I was so blootered on Tequila slammers I never made any effort to break my fall or mitigate it in any way. In fact, the first I even knew I was falling over was when the front of my head interfaced abruptly with the back of a parked car.Spent a happy half hour back home with my brother very kindly (but quite unsympathetically) pulling bits of shattered glass out of my face with some snipe-nose pliers. I still have scars where I managed to essentially separate one of my nostrils from the rest of my face
Oh, how cool I looked Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff