Funny things to write in a leaving card

[Lefty Guns]

Colleague is leaving. The card's already got some of the usuals like:

"Leaving? Didn't know you'd started."
"Off to Pastures new? There's st in every field..."
"I've worked with many people and I can honestly say you were one of them."
"Keep your mouth shut and you'll be OK"

etc etc

Any good suggestions? Funnier/filthier the better...



EDITED FOR TYPOS

Edited by Lefty Guns on Tuesday 5th May 10:36

[DrTre]

"Be thankful you're leaving this bunch of unfunny gwats behind"

[bertie]

Chap here always writes "I never liked you anyway."

[Jasandjules]

Don't let the door hit you in the a**e on the way out.

Thank f**k for that, the coffee machine will be free.

You're leaving? Who will I get the gossip from now?

[Landlord]

"Yeah, whatever."
"Milk. Bread. Diet Coke. Biscuits." then scrub it out.
Draw an ejactulating penis.
Put your phone-number, a wink and "Call me."
"Hey! Let's call it salt and pepper!" or some other random sentence/statement.

[Cookie172]

"I hope that rash clears up soon"

[DrTre]

Landlord said:

Draw an ejactulating penis.
Put your phone-number, a wink and "Call me."

yeah, do that one.

[captainzep]

Whose seat will I sniff during the 'alone times' when you've gone?

[Steamer]

"The village called to say they were looking forward to getting their idiot back"

[Rofly Lollers]

Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish.

[tonyvid]

This is a card with a future and a past....but no present.

[crossle]

I heard you're being replaced by a water cooler.

This man is a great asset to any company he's just left...

[Ganglandboss]

This guy could give you some tips...

[Neil_H]

"I follow you home and watch you undress"

[juice]

All you need to know...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xejb4yTbp5Y

[garycat]

"I've come to regard you as... someone I've met"

[twiglove]

"Come back when you can't stay so long"

[Pyro]

"You dont know who i am, but i had to put a fiver in your whiparound because i didnt have any change and people where looking, so fk you!"

[okgo]

Pyro said:

"You dont know who i am, but i had to put a fiver in your whiparound because i didnt have any change and people where looking, so fk you!"

[MkGriff]

'As you slide down the bannister of life, may all the splinters be facing in the right direction.'

or if you wish - 'I hope you get the odd splinter in your ar$e'

Depending on your relationship.