Classic from the Mrs!

[hornetrider]

Our backwater village only has ADSL 'broadband' and in the evenings it's painfully slow.

So I was surfing earlier and I was cursing the bloody thing, saying how terrible our connection was.

So Mrs Hornet comes out with the immortal line.... "Is it because the trees are in the way?"

[Shaw Tarse]

Yep she needs to trim her bushes back.

[silverthorn2151]

Kinda sweet that they think like that though ain't it.

Mine refuses to believe that if she gets on the M25 and just keeps driving she'll be back where she started. And she's a teacher!

[silverthorn2151]

In fact, I just read her the original post and she says....."well...makes sense to me!"

I ask you!

[johnnymaestro]

Having said that, this time last year the gf thought the firework explosions were the reason for the PC kept dropping off line. And I was doing it on purpose to wind her up

I told her to not be so silly, and explained that it was the borrowers who were sapping her internet line to watch adult movies.

[lost in espace]

I told my exwife the Blair Witch Project was a documentary and took her to see it. Priceless.

[catso]

I was flying a kite with the kids and we could hardly see it due to the Sun being directly behind it so my Mrs, quick as a flash, suggested that I fly the kite 'in the other direction'.....

[DamianBlades]

We where once forced to sit in the outside all open top smoking garden of a pub. After finishing drinks with mates we left the pub going through the main entrance, she takes one look at the floor and goes "gawd its been raining hard out here" :S

Or

Sign sealed delivered starts playing on TV

Me: What other songs does stevie do?
GF: Lists of a few songs
Me: Oh yeah.
GF: Have you ever seen the movie about him?
Me: What movie?
GF: Ray the one with jamie fox
Me: Love.... Its about Ray Charles
GF: Oh.

[sidekickdmr]

local to me a main waterpipe burst, water had been gushing out and while they fixed it they shut off the water to a village.

they supplied a big crate full of bottled water to keep everyone alive while it was being fixed.

We drove past, misses said

"Oohhh look, is all that water there so they can pour it back doen the hole?"

Palmface

[okgo]

amazing.

[Catz]

Oh, what simple little women you have!

Bless ...

[jeff m]

I've been out with a few dingbats.
Theatre...guy in a smoking jacket with a cravat, the backdrop has the word "Noel" on it.
What's this got to do with Christmas? She didn't last long.
Another went to see "Free Willy" and was dissapointed.

I actually liked the "why don't you fly it in the other direction" she may actually be a little brighter than you think. She could be posting on another site asking "Do you think my husband thought I was serious"

[V8A*ndy]

Girl I dated called into my work one day and threw a mental over the plants in the place being badly neglected and started watering them.

Staff left it to me to tell her the plants were infact fake.

[smack]

Looks like this topic has already opened a can of worms

[TotalControl]

V8A*ndy said:

Girl I dated called into my work one day and threw a mental over the plants in the place being badly neglected and started watering them.

Staff left it to me to tell her the plants were infact fake.

[hornetrider]

sidekickdmr said:

local to me a main waterpipe burst, water had been gushing out and while they fixed it they shut off the water to a village.

they supplied a big crate full of bottled water to keep everyone alive while it was being fixed.

We drove past, misses said

"Oohhh look, is all that water there so they can pour it back doen the hole?"

Palmface

[davido140]

V8A*ndy said:

Girl I dated called into my work one day and threw a mental over the plants in the place being badly neglected and started watering them.

Staff left it to me to tell her the plants were infact fake.

Not a GF, previous receptionist at work was responsible for ordering and looking after the office christmas tree, she got it delivered at the beginning of decemeber then went away for a week, it promptly died as she hadnt been watering it.

For a giggle her colleagues left her a little present...

On her return there was a nicely letterheaded snot-o-gram from the "CTPS" or Christmas Tree Protection Society, informing her of her criminal negligence in order the tree before she went on holiday, the crime of letting it die and that she would be liable for a £1000 fine and a potential for a criminal record.

Any sane person would surely just laugh this off... nope.. queue floods of tears, utter panic, crisis meeting with her boss...

[RizzoTheRat]

Having done her CBT and spent several weeks riding around on her 125, the girlfiend commented that "the revs seem to go up when I change down, is that right?" This is from a maths teacher with degree in maths and over 10 years driving experience!

I think I managed to hide the laughter

[NitroNick]

I was out for a walk with an exgf when we bumped into a friend of mine who was walking a small stzu.
exgf enquiring about the dog's name asked "what is she called"
Friend said its a he.
exgf said, "i didn't think you could get male stzus".

Edited by NitroNick on Tuesday 3rd November 10:09

[sadako]

lost in espace said:

I told my exwife the Blair Witch Project was a documentary and took her to see it. Priceless.

While being lame you get the odd person who was freaked out by it. Someone in my dorm at uni was - one of the guys had a mouldy stake in the fridge so we promptly went out, got some twigs from the park, made a cage out of them and left it outside her door with the raw steak inside covered in ketchup