Classic from the Mrs!
Discussion
Paddy_N_Murphy said:
Dr Bob said:
Loving these so far...
SWMBO and my M-I-L, both turn up the central heating thermostat and oven to the maximum, so that it gets to the right temperature more quickly - DOH!
CH
Yep -SWMBO and my M-I-L, both turn up the central heating thermostat and oven to the maximum, so that it gets to the right temperature more quickly - DOH!
CH
and it does not matter how many times you try to explain it it is the same.
Ditto the Car-
set it to 22Deg, and Auto. It WON'T blow until there is some warm air.
SWMBO obviously knows best.
MAX Temp, MAX fan.
that'll do it
This weekend the Mrs and I went to Antwerp, we dropped the bags off in the hotel room and checked out the scenery from the window.
She turns to me and says 'You see that Muriel down there on the wall'.
Me: What did you say?
She: You see that Muriel thats been painted on the wall down there...
what are you laughing at?
Me: Im not really sure who Muriel is, but yes I have seen the Mural down there if thats who or what you're talking about.
She turns to me and says 'You see that Muriel down there on the wall'.
Me: What did you say?
She: You see that Muriel thats been painted on the wall down there...
what are you laughing at?
Me: Im not really sure who Muriel is, but yes I have seen the Mural down there if thats who or what you're talking about.
DamianBlades said:
Sign sealed delivered starts playing on TV
Me: What other songs does stevie do?
GF: Lists of a few songs
Me: Oh yeah.
GF: Have you ever seen the movie about him?
Me: What movie?
GF: Ray the one with jamie fox
Me: Love.... Its about Ray Charles
GF: Oh.
Funnily enough a few years back Stevie Wonder was on a TV chat show. Me: What other songs does stevie do?
GF: Lists of a few songs
Me: Oh yeah.
GF: Have you ever seen the movie about him?
Me: What movie?
GF: Ray the one with jamie fox
Me: Love.... Its about Ray Charles
GF: Oh.
I noticed the wife looking inquisitively at Stevie being guided to his seat so asked her whether she realised he was blind. Blind she said, I didn't realise he was black!
Now, my wife is an intelligent girl with a good job. Seems Stevie had simply passed her by.
Paddy_N_Murphy said:
Yep -
and it does not matter how many times you try to explain it it is the same.
Ditto the Car-
set it to 22Deg, and Auto. It WON'T blow until there is some warm air.
SWMBO obviously knows best.
MAX Temp, MAX fan.
that'll do it
Mine does EXACTLY the same thing... is there some kind of anti-training camp they all go to when us blokes are having a particularly long dump?and it does not matter how many times you try to explain it it is the same.
Ditto the Car-
set it to 22Deg, and Auto. It WON'T blow until there is some warm air.
SWMBO obviously knows best.
MAX Temp, MAX fan.
that'll do it
You know when - during a rugby match - a penalty or conversion is given, and during the kicker's prep the TV company helpfully places a white arrow on the screen showing the distance from kicker to posts?
The first time mrs k saw this about 5 years ago, she blurted out, 'Fooking hell! How do they get blokes to paint that on the pitch so quickly??!!!'
In fairness, 10 seconds after, she was kicking herself. Bless.
The first time mrs k saw this about 5 years ago, she blurted out, 'Fooking hell! How do they get blokes to paint that on the pitch so quickly??!!!'
In fairness, 10 seconds after, she was kicking herself. Bless.
Not really funny per se...just gross ignorance
One female friend had never heard of the SS (Currently at Uni hoping to be a teacher)
Oh one funny...
Female friend thought spag bol was called that because you have it (or she always had) in a BOWL..wtf!!?? so the running joke for the rest of uni was "who fancies coming round for a good spag pla tonight" bless her.
One female friend had never heard of the SS (Currently at Uni hoping to be a teacher)
Oh one funny...
Female friend thought spag bol was called that because you have it (or she always had) in a BOWL..wtf!!?? so the running joke for the rest of uni was "who fancies coming round for a good spag pla tonight" bless her.
Bullett said:
I was working in call centre and convinced one of the girls that unicorns were real
Funny you should mention this but my Gf thought that unicorns were real until I told her they weren't. She also thought that Duck Billed Platypus' were made up.She recently got a brand new, top of the range HP laptop and when I suggested we watch a film on it she said, 'It has a DVD player?!'.
I reckon at least 30% of people do the oven/heating/air conditioning thing. To be fair, if you never learnt how a thermostat works it's not so obvious. After all, temperature is a continuous variable but a thermostat is binary. I'd like to say it's just women, but whilst my wife now accepts that the oven won't heat to 200 any quicker if she sets it to 250, my dad still always overrides the automatic air conditioning (which he absolutely must have in all his cars) by setting fans to max and temp as close to freezing as it will go.
Regarding the OP (internet), surely a similar number of people do not distinguish between their wifi and internet connections? Just like 80% of people over 50 don't distinguish between programs and documents on a computer: either "it's in my Word" or "I just emailed my Word to you".
Regarding the OP (internet), surely a similar number of people do not distinguish between their wifi and internet connections? Just like 80% of people over 50 don't distinguish between programs and documents on a computer: either "it's in my Word" or "I just emailed my Word to you".
kiteless said:
You know when - during a rugby match - a penalty or conversion is given, and during the kicker's prep the TV company helpfully places a white arrow on the screen showing the distance from kicker to posts?
The first time mrs k saw this about 5 years ago, she blurted out, 'Fooking hell! How do they get blokes to paint that on the pitch so quickly??!!!'
In fairness, 10 seconds after, she was kicking herself. Bless.
Scary - an ex of mine did similar, although we'd been at the game and then caught the highlights on Grandstand or something the next day. Her one was "I didn't notice that yesterday." The first time mrs k saw this about 5 years ago, she blurted out, 'Fooking hell! How do they get blokes to paint that on the pitch so quickly??!!!'
In fairness, 10 seconds after, she was kicking herself. Bless.
Edited by Famous Graham on Wednesday 4th November 02:21
We'd been lost in the boondocks for some time, the 'navigator' AKA my better half didn't have a clue which road to take, so, brimming with patience and understanding, 
I asked to see the map,
ME: "where are we darling?"
OH: "We've just come down that blue road"
ME: "That blue road is a RIVER, honey"
OH: "It must be the black road then"
ME, very quietly: "That's the railway!"
There were no red, white, or yellow roads within 5 miles of the spot she had indicated. Fortunately the river connected to a lake, which we could see, and find on the map, so we were soon back on track.
I asked to see the map,ME: "where are we darling?"
OH: "We've just come down that blue road"
ME: "That blue road is a RIVER, honey"
OH: "It must be the black road then"
ME, very quietly: "That's the railway!"
There were no red, white, or yellow roads within 5 miles of the spot she had indicated. Fortunately the river connected to a lake, which we could see, and find on the map, so we were soon back on track.
Driving West from Adelaide and saw the grass/bushes/trees on fire, wind whipped it up and the flames were moving at a pace…
exGF: Those flames are moving like wild fly
Me: WTF is wild fly
exGF: It’s an expression
Me: To explain what
exGF: Stuff that moves quick
Me: Like wild fire you mean
exGF: Yep
Me: Howls with laughter, tries to explain for next couple of hundred KMs (+ we were driving pretty slow)
Same exGF, this time driving around Bali
exGF: Sob, sniffle, generally ‘not okay’
Me: What’s up?
exGF: Nothing, I’m being silly
Me: (what’ve I done) What’s up?
exGF: Poor farmers
Me: WTF (at least it’s not my fault)
exGF: They’re poor as it is, now they’re ruined
Me: Who?
exGF: The farmers
Me: What’s up with the farmers?
exGF: Their fields are flooded
Me: Howls with laughter – they are called ‘Paddy Fields’
exGF: Those flames are moving like wild fly
Me: WTF is wild fly
exGF: It’s an expression
Me: To explain what
exGF: Stuff that moves quick
Me: Like wild fire you mean
exGF: Yep
Me: Howls with laughter, tries to explain for next couple of hundred KMs (+ we were driving pretty slow)
Same exGF, this time driving around Bali
exGF: Sob, sniffle, generally ‘not okay’
Me: What’s up?
exGF: Nothing, I’m being silly
Me: (what’ve I done) What’s up?
exGF: Poor farmers
Me: WTF (at least it’s not my fault)
exGF: They’re poor as it is, now they’re ruined
Me: Who?
exGF: The farmers
Me: What’s up with the farmers?
exGF: Their fields are flooded
Me: Howls with laughter – they are called ‘Paddy Fields’
My wife and I went to France and had a meal in a restaurant in Boulogne. She ordered spahetti bolognese and then half way through said
"It's funny that even though it's an Italian dish it's named after somewhere in France".
A few years I went to France on my own to watch the solar eclipse and she asked what day it was on. I told her and then she asked what time. 11 o'clock I replied. After a moments thought "In the morning?"
Other crackers
What's the video called luv .. ( she looks at side of cassette ) "Running time"
One time she was reading out the pizza's we could order and says " This one sounds good, it has loads on it ". Reads out the entire list from the make your own list ....
Our daughter is a clever bunny though, I tried to bring up the philosophical question of causation raised by the "Who made God?" question. So I asked her
Me:- "Who was Jesus' dad ?"
Daughter: - " God "
Me:- " So who was God's dad then? " ( a ha, that will stump her)
Daughter :- " Jesus Grandad !"
Bugger, hundreds of years of argument solved by a 5 year old....
Regards
Andy
"It's funny that even though it's an Italian dish it's named after somewhere in France".
A few years I went to France on my own to watch the solar eclipse and she asked what day it was on. I told her and then she asked what time. 11 o'clock I replied. After a moments thought "In the morning?"
Other crackers
What's the video called luv .. ( she looks at side of cassette ) "Running time"
One time she was reading out the pizza's we could order and says " This one sounds good, it has loads on it ". Reads out the entire list from the make your own list ....
Our daughter is a clever bunny though, I tried to bring up the philosophical question of causation raised by the "Who made God?" question. So I asked her
Me:- "Who was Jesus' dad ?"
Daughter: - " God "
Me:- " So who was God's dad then? " ( a ha, that will stump her)
Daughter :- " Jesus Grandad !"
Bugger, hundreds of years of argument solved by a 5 year old....
Regards
Andy
It's rather frightening that so many are teachers. Mine is too. We were looking at Google Earth the other day to see the resorts in Corfu. Now I don't expect many people to know it off by heart where Corfu is as there are lot of islands, but she had to ask where Greece was.
I made it worse by asking "Well, can you find the UK? "
Regards
Andy
I made it worse by asking "Well, can you find the UK? "
Regards
Andy
iv had to explain to my gf that the sun and moon are not the same thing, soft top convertables dont come with sunroofs, that the london july bobmings didnt happen in september, bears are a real animal and not just a name for teddys and that mph means miles per hour ( the last one took ages )
Edited by lodgy on Wednesday 4th November 09:30
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