Classic from the Mrs!

[Marvib]

It's not stupid comments off my missis, but repetition that annoys, today's.....

Where's the ryder cup this year? I reply I don't know.
She immediately comes back with, is it in Europe? I don't know
Is it in America? I don't know
Is it in Scotland? I DON'T KNOW.
Why are you shouting.....I'm now in her bad books

[callmedave]

The mrs of someone i know:

"what day is Easter Sunday?"

[Hooli]

bigandclever said:

Carthage said:

DannyScene said:

matchmaker said:

Sitting in a car park:

Her: "Is that a robin?"

Me: "Yes"

Her: "I thought they only came out in winter"

Meafter several minutes of helpless laughter) "Like hibernation in reverse?"

Her: "Oh"

My Girlfriend said exactly the same thing to me yesterday as we were getting in the car after taking the dog out

'Oh look a Robin, isn't that out a bit late, they're only about in winter aren't they?'

She couldnt answer me when I asked where the hell they went for the rest of the year

I must be as dim as your ladies; I thought some robins 'migrate' here to overwinter in the UK due to our relatively mild climate?

I'm pretty sure that our British robins stay here all year round, and at winter we get a load of dodgy immigrants from Scandinavia and Russia and the like, avoiding their harsher winters. Then they spend their time shagging our female robins (at least, the ones who haven't gone over the channel for a bit of winter sun) before sodding off back home.

IIRC Robins loose the bright red breast during the warmer weather.

[john2443]

Marvib said:

It's not stupid comments off my missis, but repetition that annoys, today's.....

Where's the ryder cup this year? I reply I don't know.
She immediately comes back with, is it in Europe? I don't know
Is it in America? I don't know
Is it in Scotland? I DON'T KNOW.
Why are you shouting.....I'm now in her bad books

I get that as well!

Reminds me of Red Dwarf - Everybody's dead Dave

[SpeckledJim]

john2443 said:

Marvib said:

It's not stupid comments off my missis, but repetition that annoys, today's.....

Where's the ryder cup this year? I reply I don't know.
She immediately comes back with, is it in Europe? I don't know
Is it in America? I don't know
Is it in Scotland? I DON'T KNOW.
Why are you shouting.....I'm now in her bad books

I get that as well!

Reminds me of Red Dwarf - Everybody's dead Dave

Me too.

• "Pardon duck?" (because you're never listening the first time)
• "Dunno"
• "Still dunno"
• "Honestly, just like the last two instances, I dunno"
• "You know, this minute in many ways can be considered akin to last minute, in that, in neither of them, did I fkING KNOW!!!!"

[stanthebiker]

Talking about where we might like to live.

"How about somewhere rural in England... like Wales"

[arn22110]

I was complaining to the wife over Skype that my new bike was taking a long time to come on the plane to Dubai (LBS said it had be shipped), she said but it has to go through immigration and have it's passport stamped... I have read this thread for ages and never thought I would hear something like that that from my wife!

[WreckedGecko]

"Don't shut the door, you will cut off the Wifi!"


What?

[onyx39]

A friend posted this on Facebook earlier.
She is actually quite intelligent.

[Vaud]

WreckedGecko said:

"Don't shut the door, you will cut off the Wifi!"
What?

Our wifi connection drops when I close the kitchen door (and using laptop in the kitchen), it's at the limit of range. Heavy solid wood door is the final block... or did she mean external door?

[aka_kerrly]

MissChief said:

Carlton Banks said:

For those of you that watch Soccer Saturday.

We were watching the scores and it goes to Chris Kamara who was covering a championship game.

The mrs pipes up "didn't know Lionel Richie was Northern?.."

Couldn't stop laughing.........

Unbelievable Jeff!

" I must have missed that"

[Carthage]

onyx39 said:

A friend posted this on Facebook earlier.
She is actually quite intelligent.

A is a FB friend of mine, too.

I'm so going to tell her....

[karona]

onyx39 said:

A friend posted this on Facebook earlier.
She is actually quite intelligent.

My other half's smartphone goes to ''sleep" if you lay it face down. When you pick it up again it wakes up and bings, bongs, pops and farts for every message, notification or Facefkingbook post she's missed.

Every morning she wakes up at stupid O'Clock and picks up her phone to check the time, despite having a million candlepower LED clock on the dressing table.

It's like the entire cast of Riverdance hoofing about on an xylophone, whilst Rolf Harris plays the Minute Waltz on a Stylophone,
every.bd.morning.

[Crafty_]

karona said:

My other half's smartphone goes to ''sleep" if you lay it face down. When you pick it up again it wakes up and bings, bongs, pops and farts for every message, notification or Facefkingbook post she's missed.

Every morning she wakes up at stupid O'Clock and picks up her phone to check the time, despite having a million candlepower LED clock on the dressing table.

It's like the entire cast of Riverdance hoofing about on an xylophone, whilst Rolf Harris plays the Minute Waltz on a Stylophone,
every.bd.morning.

You need to record the din it makes, then, when shes just nodding off play it back, loudly
"Sorry dear, just checking facebook..."

[onyx39]

Carthage said:

onyx39 said:

A friend posted this on Facebook earlier.
She is actually quite intelligent.

A is a FB friend of mine, too.

I'm so going to tell her....

[Usget]

"The trouble with pheasants is, they cross the road so palatially."

[Blib]

I quite like that.

[Black can man]

karona said:

My other half's smartphone goes to ''sleep" if you lay it face down. When you pick it up again it wakes up and bings, bongs, pops and farts for every message, notification or Facefkingbook post she's missed.

Every morning she wakes up at stupid O'Clock and picks up her phone to check the time, despite having a million candlepower LED clock on the dressing table.

It's like the entire cast of Riverdance hoofing about on an xylophone, whilst Rolf Harris plays the Minute Waltz on a Stylophone,
every.bd.morning.

[wolfracesonic]

Usget said:

"The trouble with pheasants is, they cross the road so palatially."

Mmmmm.... 'palatially', trying to think of the word your OH was actually striving for. Have you any idea?

[OlberJ]

"I almost got run off the road this morning by one of those bloody bt reach around vans!"