Classic from the Mrs!

[silverfoxcc]

Watching the secret history of streets and they mentioned a 30 storey block of flats, tht need to b demolished, bu due to proximity of railway and housing, couldn't use explosives.

so she says, 'Are they going to knock it down floor by floor?'

'I would think so'

How will they do the rest of it once the ground floor has gone?

[CanAm]

RyanTank said:

This ones not so much what she's said, but what she's done.

Me and the Mrs have been looking at late holiday deals the last 2 weeks or so, and come down to 3 options. I tell her I'm happy to go with either of these choices and that we should just book one of them online once she's made her mind up of which one to go for.

She says to me that she's going to think it over and we'll book it next week. I left for work Wednesday lunchtime leaving her home to make her choice/investigate further.

I get a phone call at lunchtime from her saying she's popping to the travel agents as she doesn't feel safe or confident booking it online. My very last words to her were "Make sure its all in our agreed budget then!" she confirms what I just said and hangs up.

About 2hrs later I get a text saying its all booked and she cant wait for it now. then sends me the hotel name. I read it and don't recognise it as one of our choices. look it up online and still don't recognise it. then notice the location is Mexico. Not one of the destinations we were looking at!!

I call her back when I get a chance. She's only gone and booked it for almost £800 more than my top budget, and from Gatwick, not Cardiff or Bristol which are the closer airports! But has booked it because the sales lady said it was amazing when she stayed there some 5 years ago. and that she can swim with dolphins in the sea and she just happened to see baby turtles hatch during her stay!!

FFS! I sort of hit the roof, she cried, I got more pissy, before realising there's not much choice now but to go through with it!

So when you come to buy a new car and agree on a BMW 316d, you arrive home with a 335i, but you only bought it because the salesman said it was amazing when he got one himself last year.

[kowalski655]

Sod THAT! Buy a Ferrari,as Im sure even a BMW salesman will agree they are good cars

[Ari]

Hearing a steam train whistle in the distance.

Her: "It's amazing that you can hear that from here"

Me: "Not really, it's only a couple of miles away"

Her: "Yeah, but that's as the crow flies"

Me: "You think that sound takes the scenic route? "

[Council Baby]

My ex turned the TV over to watch a documentary about the Hebrides.

She got about 15 minutes through then was confused about why there were islands and no ladyboys.

[Fishtigua]

Council Baby said:

The Hebrides.

Bastid, just splattered my coffee on the screen.

[Ari]

Council Baby said:

My ex turned the TV over to watch a documentary about the Hebrides.

She got about 15 minutes through then was confused about why there were islands and no ladyboys.

That took me a moment...

[TwigtheWonderkid]

My nephew works for the government in some capacity. He doesn't say to much about it. Anyway, he was telling my wife he's off to some conference abroad. She relays the story to me and begins with:

"Well apparently, there's this organisation called NATO and ......"

Well who'd have thought it? I've looked it up and it's true, there is indeed an organisation called NATO. To tell the truth, I think I've heard of them before. The name rings a bell.

[Vaud]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

My nephew works for the government in some capacity. He doesn't say to much about it. Anyway, he was telling my wife he's off to some conference abroad. She relays the story to me and begins with:

"Well apparently, there's this organisation called NATO and ......"

Well who'd have thought it? I've looked it up and it's true, there is indeed an organisation called NATO. To tell the truth, I think I've heard of them before. The name rings a bell.

Govt service and doesn't talk about it? Foreign conferences? Ask him how his commute is to Millbank. Or Vauxhall.

[Adam B]

Blown2CV said:

i'm sure not all of them are a scam, but if the plan is £25 and each service is on average £120 even at the main dealer... and it's over 2 years... how would you evaluate that, and the people that sell it? I don't even think you need to get the second service done before handing it back.

For cheap cars, low miles... they're not good. I bet the salespeople get a hell of a kickback for selling them inappropriately.

I wouldnt evaluate it, I would go straight back and start a royal fuss about mis-selling, dodgy sales tactics, PPI, Watchdog, you name it - till they ripped up their rip off contract

[Usget]

Blown2CV said:

xRIEx said:

Blown2CV said:

Vaud said:

Blown2CV said:

i think it's good to be cynical in the 'sales setting'. Mrs 2CV signed up to a service plan on her C1 without actually understanding that she'd pay in total double the cost of the services over the term. It's an utter scam but i think some people are more trusting that salespeople are acting in their interest when they fundamentally never are unless is also in the salesperson's interest.

Some are quite good. Lexus for example.

i'm sure not all of them are a scam, but if the plan is £25 and each service is on average £120 even at the main dealer... and it's over 2 years... how would you evaluate that, and the people that sell it? I don't even think you need to get the second service done before handing it back.

For cheap cars, low miles... they're not good. I bet the salespeople get a hell of a kickback for selling them inappropriately.

£25, is that a month? Every month?

yep, monthly payment!

I have a feeling my mum has been duped into one of these, too. She was very cagey when I asked her about it, which normally means she's done something "because the nice man told me it would be sensible". If they're that bloody much, I'll have to talk to her about it again.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Vaud said:

TwigtheWonderkid said:

My nephew works for the government in some capacity. He doesn't say to much about it. Anyway, he was telling my wife he's off to some conference abroad. She relays the story to me and begins with:

"Well apparently, there's this organisation called NATO and ......"

Well who'd have thought it? I've looked it up and it's true, there is indeed an organisation called NATO. To tell the truth, I think I've heard of them before. The name rings a bell.

Govt service and doesn't talk about it? Foreign conferences? Ask him how his commute is to Millbank. Or Vauxhall.

Maybe he's licensed to kill. Although at 5'8 and 7.5 stone, I doubt it.

[RyanTank]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Good for her. It's easier to apologise than get permission. I've been happily married 27 years living by that mantra.

I'm not entirely sure I've ever required her permission to do something? I merely ask if she minds out of courtesy, she does the same. only once or twice has she objected, and always with valid and strong reasons. such as I cant go away with the boys as its my MIL's 60th Birthday party that same weekend.

Or, plot twist, is this what she's making me believe happens?

CanAm said:

So when you come to buy a new car and agree on a BMW 316d, you arrive home with a 335i, but you only bought it because the salesman said it was amazing when he got one himself last year.

I like your style!

But the simple fact that she knows I'd never want a 316d, has put the kibosh on that little scenario.
the next BMW (if its my next car) has to be Straight Six and fully loaded. most of which means nothing to her so I wouldn't get the satisfaction of the "its just like you did with that holiday, remember"

[Blown2CV]

Adam B said:

Blown2CV said:

i'm sure not all of them are a scam, but if the plan is £25 and each service is on average £120 even at the main dealer... and it's over 2 years... how would you evaluate that, and the people that sell it? I don't even think you need to get the second service done before handing it back.

For cheap cars, low miles... they're not good. I bet the salespeople get a hell of a kickback for selling them inappropriately.

I wouldnt evaluate it, I would go straight back and start a royal fuss about mis-selling, dodgy sales tactics, PPI, Watchdog, you name it - till they ripped up their rip off contract

the evaluation should have been done before signing, and yes there was a lot of kicking off by me and the plan was cancelled, but it should never have got to that point.

[kiethton]

Discussing the TV (broken where the picture distorts with off black contrast) and she mentions that it is worst in the morning, by her reasoning its not the LCD panel that's broken but either the static (from the sky dish!?!?) or the shadows on the dish as the sun comes up....

I am now not being spoken to as I couldn't contain my laughter - the shadows element especially...

[Blown2CV]

kiethton said:

Discussing the TV (broken where the picture distorts with off black contrast) and she mentions that it is worst in the morning, by her reasoning its not the LCD panel that's broken but either the static (from the sky dish!?!?) or the shadows on the dish as the sun comes up....

I am now not being spoken to as I couldn't contain my laughter - the shadows element especially...

That's one of the best ones so far I think. Does she think we get satellite TV from the Sun?

[schmunk]

Blown2CV said:

Does she think we get satellite TV from the Sun?

Effectively you do. #MurdochEmpire

[Blown2CV]

schmunk said:

Blown2CV said:

Does she think we get satellite TV from the Sun?

Effectively you do. #MurdochEmpire

[morgs_]

While doing the weekly shop yesterday:

Her: Do we need any scousers?
Me: Do you mean scourers? (followed by much laughter)
Her: Shut up!
Me: That's going on PistonHeads.
Her: *whack!*
Me: Still going on PistonHeads!

[Usget]

While watching QI, a question came up - "What are Prairie Oysters?"

Accordingly, a discussion ensued on said programme about the consumption of testicles, accompanied by a backing picture of an enormous pair of bull's danglers.

Her: "Hang on... do they really eat human testicles?!"