Classic from the Mrs!

[Marvib]

Carthage said:

RYH64E said:

My wife recently observed that when the children leave home we'll have to talk to each other, other than asking what's for dinner or telling her she's doing it wrong I haven't had to actually talk to her for years...

I prefer it when my men are silent; that way I don't have to expend energy correcting them.

As I've seen you accuse posters of misogyny on 3 separate occasions I can't help but point out there is a subtle undertone of misandry here.

[SistersofPercy]

Hasbeen said:

These battery alarms going on & off are a bit annoying.

My mother, granted in her mid 90s, was living in a granny flat adjacent to my home. She liked as much independence as possible. She complained for a few days about noisy birds waking her up, or keeping her awake. As her bedroom window was only 10 meters from mine I wondered why I could not hear them.

Then after a week or so, the smoke alarm battery alarm sounded while I was down there. All was revealed when she said there's those damn birds again.

We had something similar where I could hear a beeping in our bedroom. Other half couldn't hear it at all and I couldn't place where it was coming from. Went on for a few nights until finally daughter came in to ask me something and said 'whats that beeping?' Could have kissed her, thought I was going mad.
Teenage ears are obviously better because she tracked it straight down to the cordless phone emitting the lowest little beep ever to alert that it had lost communication with it's base.
Conclusion, daughter has fabulous hearing, mine sightly better, husband is as deaf as a post

[Pints]

SistersofPercy said:

Hasbeen said:

These battery alarms going on & off are a bit annoying.

My mother, granted in her mid 90s, was living in a granny flat adjacent to my home. She liked as much independence as possible. She complained for a few days about noisy birds waking her up, or keeping her awake. As her bedroom window was only 10 meters from mine I wondered why I could not hear them.

Then after a week or so, the smoke alarm battery alarm sounded while I was down there. All was revealed when she said there's those damn birds again.

We had something similar where I could hear a beeping in our bedroom. Other half couldn't hear it at all and I couldn't place where it was coming from. Went on for a few nights until finally daughter came in to ask me something and said 'whats that beeping?' Could have kissed her, thought I was going mad.
Teenage ears are obviously better because she tracked it straight down to the cordless phone emitting the lowest little beep ever to alert that it had lost communication with it's base.
Conclusion, daughter has fabulous hearing, mine sightly better, husband is as deaf as a post

And here's the science...

http://scitation.aip.org/content/asa/journal/jasa/...

[grumpy]

Baldy881 said:

Was out night fishing Friday and returning home Saturday the missus told me she'd had a terrible night at home with the little un waking her up a few times in the night, and to top it off the smoke alarm had started beeping (low battery warning) just as she was finally settled, so she'd had to get up and "take the battery out".

Middle of the night Saturday, she wakes me up saying there's a beeping coming from the smoke alarm. In a daze I say are you sure? She says yep same noise as previous night.

st!! I'm scared now and leave bed to find smoke alarm with expectations of some weird type poltergeist occurrence about to happen. When I turn landing light on, I find the battery hanging from the (opened) smoke alarm by the battery connector. I remove it and beeping stops, then get back into bed saying I thought you'd taken the battery out to which she replied she had taken it out of the alarm!

She genuinely does not understand what has happened here

I give up

I used to install/maintain security systems and I'd very often get calls saying "the alarm panel's bleeping". It would often turn out to be a nearby smoke alarm.

[Silver]

Marvib said:

Carthage said:

RYH64E said:

My wife recently observed that when the children leave home we'll have to talk to each other, other than asking what's for dinner or telling her she's doing it wrong I haven't had to actually talk to her for years...

I prefer it when my men are silent; that way I don't have to expend energy correcting them.

As I've seen you accuse posters of misogyny on 3 separate occasions I can't help but point out there is a subtle undertone of misandry here.

Would you like me to pass you the whoosh parrot or do you have one of your own?

[xRIEx]

Silver said:

Marvib said:

Carthage said:

RYH64E said:

My wife recently observed that when the children leave home we'll have to talk to each other, other than asking what's for dinner or telling her she's doing it wrong I haven't had to actually talk to her for years...

I prefer it when my men are silent; that way I don't have to expend energy correcting them.

As I've seen you accuse posters of misogyny on 3 separate occasions I can't help but point out there is a subtle undertone of misandry here.

Would you like me to pass you the whoosh parrot or do you have one of your own?

Keep it, I think you have the greater need.

[Silver]

xRIEx said:

Silver said:

Marvib said:

Carthage said:

RYH64E said:

My wife recently observed that when the children leave home we'll have to talk to each other, other than asking what's for dinner or telling her she's doing it wrong I haven't had to actually talk to her for years...

I prefer it when my men are silent; that way I don't have to expend energy correcting them.

As I've seen you accuse posters of misogyny on 3 separate occasions I can't help but point out there is a subtle undertone of misandry here.

Would you like me to pass you the whoosh parrot or do you have one of your own?

Keep it, I think you have the greater need.

I'd actually prefer a penguin if you're handing out birds.

[DocJock]

Not the missus, but grown-up daughter...

"Will the bank be open on a Bank Holiday?"

[The Moose]

DocJock said:

Not the missus, but grown-up daughter...

"Will the bank be open on a Bank Holiday?"

Metro Bank

[Hooli]

Silver said:

xRIEx said:

Silver said:

Marvib said:

Carthage said:

RYH64E said:

My wife recently observed that when the children leave home we'll have to talk to each other, other than asking what's for dinner or telling her she's doing it wrong I haven't had to actually talk to her for years...

I prefer it when my men are silent; that way I don't have to expend energy correcting them.

As I've seen you accuse posters of misogyny on 3 separate occasions I can't help but point out there is a subtle undertone of misandry here.

Would you like me to pass you the whoosh parrot or do you have one of your own?

Keep it, I think you have the greater need.

I'd actually prefer a penguin if you're handing out birds.

[TokyoSexwhale]

RYH64E said:

Carthage said:

RYH64E said:

My wife recently observed that when the children leave home we'll have to talk to each other, other than asking what's for dinner or telling her she's doing it wrong I haven't had to actually talk to her for years...

I prefer it when my men are silent;

Exactly, after all these years she should know what I want without having to ask or be told.

Rofl

[paddy951RS]

Hi Guys

I have stumbled into this thread a few days ago and absolutely pissed myself laughing with all the comments I've read so far..........if only I had the time to read them all.........needless to say my OH comes out with some beauties from time to time. I will share when she pops one out again.

Good to see the odd female on here also

[SistersofPercy]

paddy951RS said:

Good to see the odd female on here also

Oh I'm an 'odd' female

[colonel c]

Saturday, on the phone to guy from a well known used RX8 dealer. Their web site is on the monitor in front of me.

Me: Yes the Green one with the stripes. OK thanks mate. I'll see you tomorrow then.

Hangs up phone.

Mrs colonel c walks in to the room and looks at the web site.

Her: So you going to look an one of those then.

Me: Yep.

Her: Well hope it's not the Green one with the stripes. I don't like that one at all, hideous thing.

Me: Well Ummmm actually............


For better or worse I bought the car. Now Mrs colonel c has seen it the flesh she quite likes it. Phew!

[ihatesissycars]

My ex ordered a pizza over the phone once and started spelling out the post code.

P for pillow, o for orange etc, all going well until we got to Q.





For cupid.

[Hasbeen]

colonel c said:

Saturday, on the phone to guy from a well known used RX8 dealer. Their web site is on the monitor in front of me.

Me: Yes the Green one with the stripes. OK thanks mate. I'll see you tomorrow then.

Hangs up phone.

Mrs colonel c walks in to the room and looks at the web site.

Her: So you going to look an one of those then.

Me: Yep.

Her: Well hope it's not the Green one with the stripes. I don't like that one at all, hideous thing.

Me: Well Ummmm actually............


For better or worse I bought the car. Now Mrs colonel c has seen it the flesh she quite likes it. Phew!

When my mother got to the stage we needed to take a wheel chair around with us, if she was coming, & there was much walking, I needed a car that was easy to load it into.

I did think of ramps & clamps for the back of the Hilux, but she objected.

I found a Mazda 2 was perfect. The folded chair was easy to get in, & it stood up behind the seats. A bit of bungee cord, & a snap hook to the headrest & it was there.

My youngest daughter came home saying she had seen a lovely purple one in town. Mother was never going to be driven around in a purple car, no way. My wife liked the colour too, & it turned out to be one of the dealers demo cars. I arranged the sales lady to bring it out to us.

My mother loved the nice MOVE colour. The dealer had decided move was not a good demo colour, it only had 326 kilometers, & we could have it, with all the extras for $2000 off list.

We bought it on the spot, & I dropped her back into town in the TR8. Surprisingly she liked that, & my ladies loved the Mazda, even if they could not decide what colour it was.

[Strangely Brown]

It was probably mauve.

mauve |məʊv|
adjective
of a pale purple colour

[Squishey]

ihatesissycars said:

My ex ordered a pizza over the phone once and started spelling out the post code.

P for pillow, o for orange etc, all going well until we got to Q.





For cupid.

Brilliant!

[Bluebarge]

colonel c said:

Saturday, on the phone to guy from a well known used RX8 dealer. Their web site is on the monitor in front of me.

Me: Yes the Green one with the stripes. OK thanks mate. I'll see you tomorrow then.

Hangs up phone.

Mrs colonel c walks in to the room and looks at the web site.

Her: So you going to look an one of those then.

Me: Yep.

Her: Well hope it's not the Green one with the stripes. I don't like that one at all, hideous thing.

Me: Well Ummmm actually............

Mods, please move this to the "Mrs being sensible" thread. Thanks

[colonel c]

Bluebarge said:

colonel c said:

Saturday, on the phone to guy from a well known used RX8 dealer. Their web site is on the monitor in front of me.

Me: Yes the Green one with the stripes. OK thanks mate. I'll see you tomorrow then.

Hangs up phone.

Mrs colonel c walks in to the room and looks at the web site.

Her: So you going to look an one of those then.

Me: Yep.

Her: Well hope it's not the Green one with the stripes. I don't like that one at all, hideous thing.

Me: Well Ummmm actually............

Mods, please move this to the "Mrs being sensible" thread. Thanks