Classic from the Mrs!

[Cliftonite]

.
Slightly off topic, but . . .

Something to depress you on a Saturday morning:

Only 'top' 5% of pupils go / went? to Grammar School.

I went to Grammar School.

Therefore 95% of the population are thicker even than Cliftonite.

Wojja fink?

[Spiffing]

Mum: "Your brother brought me a pudding his mate who works at that restaurant made"

Me: "How was it?"

Mum " Binned it, it was off, the top was as hard as a rock and under it was a runny yellow thing"

Me "...What was it called"

Mum "Cream brulay"

Me: "Creme Brulee, it is supposed to be like that Mum."

[Urban Sports]

Not the mrs but a woman from work.

"I can't wait I'm going to Mexico on Sunday!"

"Make sure you change the clocks or you might miss the flight."

"God yes thanks, does that mean I'll get an hour more or an hour less on the plane?"

Jesus.

[vikingaero]

Cliftonite said:

.
Slightly off topic, but . . .

Something to depress you on a Saturday morning:

Only 'top' 5% of pupils go / went? to Grammar School.

I went to Grammar School.

Therefore 95% of the population are thicker even than Cliftonite.

Wojja fink?

If it's on the internet it must be true.

It was continually rammed down our throats that we were in the top 2% of pupils in the country. But I struggled to keep up at school and always thought I was Mr 98.00000001%

[xRIEx]

Cliftonite said:

.
Slightly off topic, but . . .

Something to depress you on a Saturday morning:

Only 'top' 5% of pupils go / went? to Grammar School.

I went to Grammar School.

Therefore 95% of the population are thicker even than Cliftonite.

Wojja fink?

I think you've made the rather drastic assumption that anyone who is 'top 5%' at point of entry remains in the top 5% throughout their life.

[Cliftonite]

xRIEx said:

I think you've made the rather drastic assumption that anyone who is 'top 5%' at point of entry remains in the top 5% throughout their life.

Spot on?

Do I now take comfort in the fact I must be thicker than I used to be, or that there are fewer thicker people in the country than I previously thought?

My brain hurts!

[xRIEx]

Cliftonite said:

xRIEx said:

I think you've made the rather drastic assumption that anyone who is 'top 5%' at point of entry remains in the top 5% throughout their life.

Spot on?

Do I now take comfort in the fact I must be thicker than I used to be, or that there are fewer thicker people in the country than I previously thought?

My brain hurts!

You might even be smarter than you thought you were.

[Blown2CV]

xRIEx said:

Cliftonite said:

xRIEx said:

I think you've made the rather drastic assumption that anyone who is 'top 5%' at point of entry remains in the top 5% throughout their life.

Spot on?

Do I now take comfort in the fact I must be thicker than I used to be, or that there are fewer thicker people in the country than I previously thought?

My brain hurts!

You might even be smarter than you thought you were.

once you get out of school you aren't measured on your potential, only your achievements. Those things are only loosely related.

[Moonhawk]

Went round to fix my father in law's garage yesterday. Wife calls me to say she has made a cup of tea.

I walk into the kitchen to find two cups of tea on the side - I shout through to the living room to ask her which one is mine (as I take sugar).

Her reply........."The middle one"

[dmitsi]

Urban Sports said:

Not the mrs but a woman from work.

"I can't wait I'm going to Mexico on Sunday!"

"Make sure you change the clocks or you might miss the flight."

"God yes thanks, does that mean I'll get an hour more or an hour less on the plane?"

Jesus.

But the clocks went back so she would be early if she didn't change hers.

[RobinBanks]

Hooli said:

Munter said:

RobinBanks said:

But surely any adult has some basic grasp of economics?

If you were someone's Mrs. That comment would be being posted on this thread.

I'll be whatever you want me to be

[Blown2CV]

SLCZ3 said:

Blown2CV said:

yea but there's being a bit of a mong and there's being full-fat retarded. Would an adult asking if they could just print more money really be thinking they've just solved the world's problems whilst eating monster munch and watching trisha, and that no-one had thought of that before? Maybe it's just a badly worded way of saying "I don't fully understand the reasons why it's not possible to just print more money in order to solve the issue", at least then they're saying they know it's not possible.

Hmm , so what is QE??

well it isn't printing more money so poor people aren't poor anymore, certainly. You're talking about a completely different thing.

[havoc]

Blown2CV said:

well it isn't printing more money so poor people aren't poor anymore, certainly. You're talking about a completely different thing.

It's printing more money so rich people don't become poor. Completely different...

[WilliamWoollard]

'Is bonfire night usually on a Friday or Saturday?'

[Usget]

Driving past what turned out to be Jodrell Bank

Her: "What's that?!"
Me: "Oh, it's like a big Sky receiver."
Her: "Really?! That must be big enough to supply an entire village!"

[Vaud]

Usget said:

Driving past what turned out to be Jodrell Bank

Her: "What's that?!"
Me: "Oh, it's like a big Sky receiver."
Her: "Really?! That must be big enough to supply an entire village!"

Well done on dumbing it down to the extreme... hers was a fair question as radio telescopes aren't exactly common?

[Usget]

Vaud said:

Well done on dumbing it down to the extreme... hers was a fair question as radio telescopes aren't exactly common?

...?

If it didn't come across well in writing, my response to her was taking the piss...

[Vipers]

Washing up tonight, when the OH says

"We need one of those plastic things you put in the corner of the work top for bits and pieces

"Where will you get that", I asked,

She says "You can get them in the pound shop, they are about 50 pence"............

[Blown2CV]

Vipers said:

Washing up tonight, when the OH says

"We need one of those plastic things you put in the corner of the work top for bits and pieces

"Where will you get that", I asked,

She says "You can get them in the pound shop, they are about 50 pence"............

my understanding of the 'pound shop' (having never been in one ) is that everything is £1 or less.

[Vipers]

Blown2CV said:

Vipers said:

Washing up tonight, when the OH says

"We need one of those plastic things you put in the corner of the work top for bits and pieces

"Where will you get that", I asked,

She says "You can get them in the pound shop, they are about 50 pence"............

my understanding of the 'pound shop' (having never been in one ) is that everything is £1 or less.

I am nipping in there tomorrow, will let you know.