Classic from the Mrs!

[andrew_huxtable]

Girl at work came out with a cracker the other day.

Do ducks sleep underwater?

[Saddle bum]

Earlier tonight...........

Her: You ever heard of a name "Percy-phone?"

Me: What!

Her; It says here, "Percy-phone".

Me: Spell it.

Her P.E.R.S.E.P.H.O.N.E

Me: It's Persephone. The daughter of Zeus, it's a girls name.

Sigh................

[TwigtheWonderkid]

MissChief said:

TwigtheWonderkid said:

I'm with your M.I.L. I thought some car seats had their own built in mini side airbags.

The actual seats do but he was referring to his Daughters car seat and I'm not aware of any infant car seat that includes any airbag device.

Look up Carkoon, a childs car seat with its own built in airbag system.

[sparkyhx]

Saddle bum said:

Earlier tonight...........

Her: You ever heard of a name "Percy-phone?"

Me: What!

Her; It says here, "Percy-phone".

Me: Spell it.

Her P.E.R.S.E.P.H.O.N.E

Me: It's Persephone. The daughter of Zeus, it's a girls name.

Sigh................

Just listened to Percy Phone by Wishbone Ash, on my phone.
My son and I always refer to it as "Percy Phone", but we do know it is not said that way.

Currently listening to "Phone icks" as well. Phoenix

[Frimley111R]

Mrs 111R "The SAAB feels a bit funny when you drive it."

Me: "Can you be more specific?'

Mrs 111R 'No.'

[DannyScene]

Frimley111R said:

Mrs 111R "The SAAB feels a bit funny when you drive it."

Me: "Can you be more specific?'

Mrs 111R 'No.'

That reminds me, I had almost exactly the same a few weeks back

GF: babe my car felt really weird this morning

ME: right ok, in what way did it feel weird

GF: erm I'm not sure just weird, you know, not normal

ME: yes dear I know what weird means but what about your car felt weird? Acceleration? Steering? Braking?

GF: (now angry) I don't know it just felt weird! I thought you knew about cars!!

ME: ring your dad ffs (he seems to remain calm when dealing with her and has an uncanny ability to decypher her ramblings, something I have not had sufficiant time to master)

[ManFromDelmonte]

DannyScene said:

That reminds me, I had almost exactly the same a few weeks back

GF: babe my car felt really weird this morning

ME: right ok, in what way did it feel weird

GF: erm I'm not sure just weird, you know, not normal

ME: yes dear I know what weird means but what about your car felt weird? Acceleration? Steering? Braking?

GF: (now angry) I don't know it just felt weird! I thought you knew about cars!!

ME: ring your dad ffs (he seems to remain calm when dealing with her and has an uncanny ability to decypher her ramblings, something I have not had sufficiant time to master)

Pro-tip: You could have suggested going for a quick drive with her to see if that would shed some light on the problem.

[DannyScene]

ManFromDelmonte said:

DannyScene said:

That reminds me, I had almost exactly the same a few weeks back

GF: babe my car felt really weird this morning

ME: right ok, in what way did it feel weird

GF: erm I'm not sure just weird, you know, not normal

ME: yes dear I know what weird means but what about your car felt weird? Acceleration? Steering? Braking?

GF: (now angry) I don't know it just felt weird! I thought you knew about cars!!

ME: ring your dad ffs (he seems to remain calm when dealing with her and has an uncanny ability to decypher her ramblings, something I have not had sufficiant time to master)

Pro-tip: You could have suggested going for a quick drive with her to see if that would shed some light on the problem.

I eventually did go for a drive with her, couldn't identify a thing that was wrong however I am now reliably informed the car drives 'perfectly' again

[Huntsman]

Mrs H 'Is Yodel and Swiss company?'

[Johnnytheboy]

We were driving in two vans in convoy the other day. My passenger took a text from the girl in the passenger seat of the other van:

"Transit sounds funny"

Reply: "In what way"

"Just funny"

Ten minutes later:

"It doesn't sound funny any more"

When I asked the two girls from the Transit later they flatly refused to furnish me with any more detail.

[cootuk]

"Pro-tip: You could have suggested going for a quick drive with her to see if that would shed some light on the problem"

Christ, you want to be gripping the seat and wincing with near misses letting your wife drive?

[anonymous-user]

One from my mate's mrs when he asked her what she thinks an MPV stands for...she replied mini person's vehicle.

[karona]

'Er Indoors was frantically Googling. Suddenly she looked disconsolate and let out a sigh.

"Wassup" I asked

"I was looking up where Jenny is going on holiday, next year"

"Yes, and?"

"Well it sounded like "Jet Black C0ck"

[Studio117]

While on a packed bus going through Brixton in rush hour:

Her: (loudly)Have you ever been on a banana boat?

Me:

[Hasbeen]

The lady complained her car wasn't steering right, & was "bumping".

Yes she might have hit a curb with the left front.

Couldn't fault the left, right front or anything in the suspension, but the right back looked down in pressure. Yep, 17 PSI, a ding on the inside lip of the steel wheel, & a lump in the tyre. How the hell did she curb that?

My friendly tyre shop fixed the rim with a 7 lb. sledge hammer, & a bit of wood, without even marking the paint, a rare skill. Another new tyre, her third in a year, [she does like those curbs] & on her way.

She was right, it wasn't steering right with a half flat tyre.

[Tyre Tread]

Hasbeen said:

The lady complained her car wasn't steering right, & was "bumping".

Yes she might have hit a curb with the left front.

Couldn't fault the left, right front or anything in the suspension, but the right back looked down in pressure. Yep, 17 PSI, a ding on the inside lip of the steel wheel, & a lump in the tyre. How the hell did she curb that?

My friendly tyre shop fixed the rim with a 7 lb. sledge hammer, & a bit of wood, without even marking the paint, a rare skill. Another new tyre, her third in a year, [she does like those curbs] & on her way.

She was right, it wasn't steering right with a half flat tyre.

Kerb, its kerb! Kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb.

[Cliftonite]

Tyre Tread said:

Kerb, its kerb! Kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb, kerb.

Please curb your enthusiasm for giving English lessons!

[ApOrbital]

Huntsman said:

Mrs H 'Is Yodel and Swiss company?'

Haha bless.

[Playsatan]

Hasbeen said:

Couldn't fault the left, right front or anything in the suspension, but the right back looked down in pressure. Yep, 17 PSI, a ding on the inside lip of the steel wheel, & a lump in the tyre. How the hell did she curb that?

It must be the season for it. I used the missus car two weeks ago as hers was first in the drive and I was only popping out for ten minutes. I never even made it through the gates before I knew something wasn't right, I asked her had she noticed anything strange to which she assured me it was fine and NO she hadn't bashed it.

Five minutes later this is what I was looking at.



Yup. Nothing wrong there.

[perdu]

Playsatan said:

It must be the season for it. I used the missus car two weeks ago as hers was first in the drive and I was only popping out for ten minutes. I never even made it through the gates before I knew something wasn't right, I asked her had she noticed anything strange to which she assured me it was fine and NO she hadn't bashed it.

Five minutes later this is what I was looking at.



Yup. Nothing wrong there.

I dunno, bit of dissimilar corrosion just there where the lugs do up

maybe a wipe of Coppaslip... Just in case