What's Redhill like?
Discussion
Currently living in Farnham, Surrey and work in various locations across South London and wouldlike to move somewhere nearer.
I've go a budget of 250 and need a 3 bed house with off road parking and good road & train links. South London is pricey except places like Croydon which is a dump. Redhill looks promisng so far after my initial scouting trip.
What's Redhill like? Anyone live/d there?
I've go a budget of 250 and need a 3 bed house with off road parking and good road & train links. South London is pricey except places like Croydon which is a dump. Redhill looks promisng so far after my initial scouting trip.
What's Redhill like? Anyone live/d there?
The following is, I fear, rather accurate.
Bloke on chavtowns.co.uk said:
I must have done something pretty ghastly in a previous life because, having survived three years working in the chav-ridden cesspit that is Croydon I am now commuting 90 minutes each way every f
king day to the chav-ridden cesspit that is Redhill.
Set in otherwise passable countryside, Redhill is a festering sewer of a town. Its architecture is like the slime the devil wiped off his bellend after taking the rancid corpse of a wildebeeste up the jacksie. It is without a single redeeming quality except possibly that the road and rail links are OK and you can get the fk out of it quite quickly. And you will want to, believe me.
As soon as you get out of the station, the prevailing chavviness hits you in the face. Take your life in your hands as you dodge Kev and Trace veering in and out as they try to work out how to get off the ring road and into town.
(Did I mention Redhill has a ring road? It’s a rather tortuous one, of the kind town planners loved in the 60s. I believe that it was set down not so much to keep traffic moving as to keep the chavs in. Unable to work out how to get out, they lounge around the centre of town inbreeding. Realising the damage that was being done to the gene pool, the council recently legalised sexual relations between unrelated people in Redhill, but it will take several generations to reverse it.)
If you survive the ring road, the first thing you see is either a) McDonald’s, besieged at all hours by 12-year old proto-slappers with miniskirts fractionally above their fallopian tubes or b) the Abbot AKA the Stabbot, recently and pointlessly refurbished, mecca of Surrey chavs (see the spot-on review in www.beerintheevening.com) and yet still far from being the worst pub in Redhill. That would be the Sun, cheapy Wetherspoon haunt of every local psycho and nutter. Or the Dog & Duck. Or plastic paddy hellhole O’Neills. Or – oh take your pick, they’re all fking terrible. Lidl and Iceland are the main stores, bien sur.
Get past all this and the rancid chip shops and you’re bang in the centre of town. Here, amid the paaahhhnd shops and general tat hangs out the biggest collection of Harry Ramps, Care in the Community victims and dopey looking ten-year old chavs in the making. I swear they all have EXACTLY the same jug ears and vacant stares.
One of the highlights of Redhill is a doorway behind the shops in which the sexual doings of the chavs are documented. Sadly ‘Paula Rice masturbates with carrots and broccoli’ and ‘Kayleigh Andrews is a fat slag and a horse that eats grass’ were erased some time ago, but the fact that Terry Hall sucks himself off cos he can’t get any is still live. Terry mate, you live in Redhill, you should get your kicks however you can.
Thursday is the pinnacle. Not only is it market day, it’s giro day and pension day and thousands of chavs come out of their ponds to gaze at mobile phaaaaaaaaaan covers and two for a fiver CDs of pan pipes and fk knows what else. I have never seen a chavvier spectacle in all my life.
The weirdest thing is that Redhill runs into Reigate, the archetypal posh Surrey town, complete with Georgian market hall, nicey-nicey craft shops. To all intents and purposes they are the same place. It’s as if Reigate went out on the pull, woke up with a sore head and was too polite/scared to get rid of the rough-looking bird lying next to him in bed in the outsize burbery knickers.
king day to the chav-ridden cesspit that is Redhill.Set in otherwise passable countryside, Redhill is a festering sewer of a town. Its architecture is like the slime the devil wiped off his bellend after taking the rancid corpse of a wildebeeste up the jacksie. It is without a single redeeming quality except possibly that the road and rail links are OK and you can get the f
k out of it quite quickly. And you will want to, believe me.As soon as you get out of the station, the prevailing chavviness hits you in the face. Take your life in your hands as you dodge Kev and Trace veering in and out as they try to work out how to get off the ring road and into town.
(Did I mention Redhill has a ring road? It’s a rather tortuous one, of the kind town planners loved in the 60s. I believe that it was set down not so much to keep traffic moving as to keep the chavs in. Unable to work out how to get out, they lounge around the centre of town inbreeding. Realising the damage that was being done to the gene pool, the council recently legalised sexual relations between unrelated people in Redhill, but it will take several generations to reverse it.)
If you survive the ring road, the first thing you see is either a) McDonald’s, besieged at all hours by 12-year old proto-slappers with miniskirts fractionally above their fallopian tubes or b) the Abbot AKA the Stabbot, recently and pointlessly refurbished, mecca of Surrey chavs (see the spot-on review in www.beerintheevening.com) and yet still far from being the worst pub in Redhill. That would be the Sun, cheapy Wetherspoon haunt of every local psycho and nutter. Or the Dog & Duck. Or plastic paddy hellhole O’Neills. Or – oh take your pick, they’re all f
king terrible. Lidl and Iceland are the main stores, bien sur.Get past all this and the rancid chip shops and you’re bang in the centre of town. Here, amid the paaahhhnd shops and general tat hangs out the biggest collection of Harry Ramps, Care in the Community victims and dopey looking ten-year old chavs in the making. I swear they all have EXACTLY the same jug ears and vacant stares.
One of the highlights of Redhill is a doorway behind the shops in which the sexual doings of the chavs are documented. Sadly ‘Paula Rice masturbates with carrots and broccoli’ and ‘Kayleigh Andrews is a fat slag and a horse that eats grass’ were erased some time ago, but the fact that Terry Hall sucks himself off cos he can’t get any is still live. Terry mate, you live in Redhill, you should get your kicks however you can.
Thursday is the pinnacle. Not only is it market day, it’s giro day and pension day and thousands of chavs come out of their ponds to gaze at mobile phaaaaaaaaaan covers and two for a fiver CDs of pan pipes and f
k knows what else. I have never seen a chavvier spectacle in all my life.The weirdest thing is that Redhill runs into Reigate, the archetypal posh Surrey town, complete with Georgian market hall, nicey-nicey craft shops. To all intents and purposes they are the same place. It’s as if Reigate went out on the pull, woke up with a sore head and was too polite/scared to get rid of the rough-looking bird lying next to him in bed in the outsize burbery knickers.
I lived there for a few years, and it's not so bad if you know which parts to stay in. The Reigate end is definitely the better, but also the more expensive. Avoid Merstham like the plague.
It really can vary road by road in some places. For instance, I was in Monson Road, but the next road over is really pikey.
For a n00b I would suggest starting on the westside (aii) and working your way back until you hit your budget (or move to Horsham like I did)
It really can vary road by road in some places. For instance, I was in Monson Road, but the next road over is really pikey.
For a n00b I would suggest starting on the westside (aii) and working your way back until you hit your budget (or move to Horsham like I did)
I grew up there, but escaped It was a sthole, but had some semblance of character. It has since been improved, which has removed any character and developed the flaky concrete steness.
It is populated by uneducated and inbred fugitives from the asylums that used to surround it, who communicate with grunts and strange finger movements.
Reigate is nice, in a stockbroker-with-an-arsefull-of-plums kind of way. Just the place for an average PHer.
thole, but had some semblance of character. It has since been improved, which has removed any character and developed the flaky concrete steness. It is populated by uneducated and inbred fugitives from the asylums that used to surround it, who communicate with grunts and strange finger movements.
Reigate is nice, in a stockbroker-with-an-arsefull-of-plums kind of way. Just the place for an average PHer.
Eddie the Ead said:
I live in farnham and am working in Redhill for the next few weeks. There is nothing I've seen that would make me want to move thats for sure. Maybe try somewhere like Dorking or Epsom if you want to be near South London
Having lived in Epsom for the past 9 years or so, I'd definitely say it's worth a look. Epsom itself isn't stunning, but you can get to any mainline station in London in under 55 minutes, including direct lines to Waterloo, Victoria & London Bridge, plus the Surrey Hills between Guildford and Dorking are absolutely wonderful, especially if you like mountain biking. I'd struggle to think of many places better located for a balance of being within very easy reach of everything you might want.The OP's budget would be a bit tight though, which would lead me to consider Leatherhead as an alternative. Train links not quite as good, but it is outside the M25, which can make life easier. It's smaller in terms of shops and the like, but there's still plenty there, so not really an issue.
epsoms ok........
i live in Ashtead and i cant really fault the place, leatherheads got some real nice parts also, Dorking can be a nice place also
but stay away from Redhill
Edit, train links are the same as Epsom, as it runs through Epsom! London in 40 mins btw
i live in Ashtead and i cant really fault the place, leatherheads got some real nice parts also, Dorking can be a nice place also
but stay away from Redhill
Edit, train links are the same as Epsom, as it runs through Epsom! London in 40 mins btw
Edited by Alexdaredevilz on Thursday 7th January 22:24
I've lived in Reigate all my life and go to college in Epsom..
My Dad's new years resolution about 4/5 years ago was not to go into Redhill at all (apart from driving through) - He succeeded and has only been about twice since then...
Epsom isn't the nicest town tbh - at least with Redhill you can come to Reigate..
My Dad's new years resolution about 4/5 years ago was not to go into Redhill at all (apart from driving through) - He succeeded and has only been about twice since then...
Epsom isn't the nicest town tbh - at least with Redhill you can come to Reigate..
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