Management bulls**t phrases
Discussion
Symbolica said:
dfen5 said:
Good to touch base on this.
I've yet to hear a satisfactory explanation for what "Touch base" means.Bloody consultants
" If you use Touch Base in my presence, I'll staple your tie to your forehead"
this clearly only applies to those of a similar or lower pay grade
Edited by Oily Nails on Friday 29th January 22:23
A good friend of mine is full of this s
t, oh and lets not forget our companies shopfloor manager! I have to put up with a whole host of bullst:
Creating a synergy / creating synergies
Dovetailing our portfolio
Reading/Singing off the same hymn sheet
Shooting the crocodiles closest to the boat
Executive decisions
Blue sky thinking (wtf does this even mean?!)
Silo-ing...
and my favourite one has to be "but how long's a piece of string?" to which my reply is always "As long as the customer wants that string to be".
Gah!
t, oh and lets not forget our companies shopfloor manager! I have to put up with a whole host of bullst:Creating a synergy / creating synergies
Dovetailing our portfolio
Reading/Singing off the same hymn sheet
Shooting the crocodiles closest to the boat
Executive decisions
Blue sky thinking (wtf does this even mean?!)
Silo-ing...
and my favourite one has to be "but how long's a piece of string?" to which my reply is always "As long as the customer wants that string to be".
Gah!
got invited out to the US last year to meet one of our resellers... they wanted to "take a deep-dive into our technology silio"
if it happens to anyone else, no need for flippers and swimmers at the meeting (as I found out at my cost)
in all seriousness, if senior folks in your company use this kind of stuff then it rubs off as you "fit in". It's only the same as job specific language in say engineering, IT or electronics that you use as you get more involved. Only difference being as a general rule, you don't get to hear these as much as management babble.
so moving forward, let's take a helicopter view of this, reach out across the business and feed into the process, which feels the next natural step to take.
RM
Senior Manager and babble expert.
if it happens to anyone else, no need for flippers and swimmers at the meeting (as I found out at my cost)
in all seriousness, if senior folks in your company use this kind of stuff then it rubs off as you "fit in". It's only the same as job specific language in say engineering, IT or electronics that you use as you get more involved. Only difference being as a general rule, you don't get to hear these as much as management babble.
so moving forward, let's take a helicopter view of this, reach out across the business and feed into the process, which feels the next natural step to take.
RM
Senior Manager and babble expert.
Edited by BerksBoy on Saturday 30th January 09:10
Hooty said:
V8mate said:
cat@10 said:
The other day a college said the phrase "Sam is quatterbacking this project".
I'd get yourself along to some remedial english classes before you try taking the mickey out of others' foibles if I were you.Stick it up the flagpole and see if the idea flutters. Alternatively, put it on the deck and see if it gets a tan.
SLacKer said:
Thats excellent! Very creative.Trouble is, the more you are exposed to it, the more it creeps in to everyday language. It is fed in at the top by consultants at director level, and then disseminates down to junior management level. "Out of the business", "drill down", "Next steps", "Transparency" etc were all in pretty common useage in my last job. In general, the more ambitious the person, the worse the MS was.
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