Management bulls**t phrases

Management bulls**t phrases

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Discussion

mattyn1

5,728 posts

154 months

Tuesday 20th January 2015
quotequote all
This was a conversation in a meeting last year.

Boss: I think we need some blue sky thinking to enable reduction in the totalitarisationing of the impending man hours for that evolution.
Me: totalitarisatining?
Boss: Affirm.
Me: do you mean yes?
Boss: yes
Me: Totalitarisationing, so you mean add up?
Boss: yes.
Me: can we minute that please?

Edited by mattyn1 on Tuesday 20th January 17:14

omgus

7,305 posts

174 months

Tuesday 20th January 2015
quotequote all
I have to spend a few days later this week re-writing process documents. The first morning will almost certainly be lost to a meeting with the client who spews more of these phrases than anyone else i know and was responsible for "this task is like the hole in the doughnut" to describe something.

  • "Totalitarisatining" I'm using that.
  • "We’d just got everyone pregnant with the idea and were about to pull the trigger for a quick win..." That too.
  • "Solutioneer" That is bloody well going into the document.
I feel that by thursday i will be able to converse with him in his own language. biggrin

J3JCV

1,248 posts

154 months

Tuesday 20th January 2015
quotequote all
I think it's now fairly understood that "Scrum" is a legitimate thing in whatever industry (seems like just IT) and probably pre dates Rugby itself.

However....please can we just drop it.

"Think woks" and their ilk are where the fortunes of this thread lies. I never forget coming back in to the Shipyard after working away for a few years, only to hear that someone was going to "bake in" some numbers to a cost sheet they were working on, that's when I knew that things ave changed round ere.

JonRB

74,402 posts

271 months

Tuesday 20th January 2015
quotequote all
ManFromDelmonte said:
A lot of this thread is bks.

A daily Scrum is not the same as a daily meeting.

Can a daily meeting have 20 attendees who are all managers and last for 45 minutes? Yes.
Can a daily Scrum have 20 attendees who are all managers and last for 45 minutes? Absolutely not.

A Scrum is a specific type of meeting with a specific format and a specific goal. It is jargon but is not management bullst.

Using a phrase like 'touch base' instead of meeting could be considered bullst.

"I touched base with a couple of the guys and decided XYZ"
vs
"I had a meeting with a couple of the guys and decided XYZ"

Both mean the same thing, but one uses a bullst term.
clap

Well at least somebody gets it.

Actually, I suspect that several contributors to this thread only pretend that they don't and are being argumentative sods for the sake of it. smile

Edit:

This is the key phrase here:
ManFromDelmonte said:
It is jargon but is not management bullst.
Edited by JonRB on Tuesday 20th January 18:15

JonRB

74,402 posts

271 months

Tuesday 20th January 2015
quotequote all
mattyn1 said:
This was a conversation in a meeting last year.

Boss: I think we need some blue sky thinking to enable reduction in the totalitarisationing of the impending man hours for that evolution.
Me: totalitarisatining?
Boss: Affirm.
Me: do you mean yes?
Boss: yes
Me: Totalitarisationing, so you mean add up?
Boss: yes.
Me: can we minute that please?
Gus Hedges is alive and well.

Did he toss that in his brain wok, and cook with napalm? wink

blueST

4,379 posts

215 months

Tuesday 20th January 2015
quotequote all
I work many of the lamest terms are common place, and there aren't many I haven't witnessed people using for real. What I have noticed is there is a trend to adopt terminology used by the Police and military. Two more recent ones:

"We need to keep an eye on the battle rhythm" - talking about the changing pace of activity.

Referring to people with a vested interest in seeing your work/organisation fail as "terrorists", which I find particularly OTT.

JonRB

74,402 posts

271 months

Tuesday 20th January 2015
quotequote all
blueST said:
Referring to people with a vested interest in seeing your work/organisation fail as "terrorists", which I find particularly OTT.
I'd say that's more than OTT - it's downright offensive and out of order.

mattyn1

5,728 posts

154 months

Tuesday 20th January 2015
quotequote all
JonRB said:
Gus Hedges is alive and well.

Did he toss that in his brain wok, and cook with napalm? wink
This type of bks happens a lot - when they want to say something inspiring and full of leadership, but realise mid flow they either do not know what they want to say or whether the word actually exists.

It never did make the minutes though!

NailedOn

3,114 posts

234 months

Tuesday 20th January 2015
quotequote all
CraigyMc said:
iphonedyou said:
NailedOn said:
Did we do 'Architect' yet? As in the verb to: design; solution or imagine.
If you folks could go architect the solution then we'll engineer (verb) the deliverables.
Dear god, really? That's not technically a verb in English, is it?
What would you say architects do? One word answer.
Solution.
Also a verb, I'm afraid to tell you.
I think Solution Architects outrank Solution Planners.

JonRB

74,402 posts

271 months

Wednesday 21st January 2015
quotequote all
My understanding is that, in software just like in physical structures, the Architect is the overall designer who has the full picture - the grand vision, if you want. Also it is a singular title - a project will generally have only one Architect but can have many designers.

In some companies, they don't use the name "Architect" they refer to the person with the overall full picture as the "design authority" (not as a title, hence I haven't capitalised it). Either way, it means the person who is responsible for the overall design and who people ask when they want to clarify some aspect of the design. So, really, Architect isn't such a stupid title as it conveys the sense of overall design.

Edit: I meant to add that the Architect also has the final say on changes to the design, which is where "design authority" comes from - ie. they have the power of veto.





Edited by JonRB on Wednesday 21st January 08:58

WinkleHoff

736 posts

234 months

Wednesday 21st January 2015
quotequote all
"Let's kick this in to the long grass".

Not sure if this has been covered here, but this boils my pee.

scherzkeks

4,460 posts

133 months

Wednesday 21st January 2015
quotequote all
Deep-dive is a personal favorite of mine.

Edited by scherzkeks on Wednesday 28th January 08:22

LeoZwalf

2,802 posts

229 months

Wednesday 21st January 2015
quotequote all
WinkleHoff said:
"Let's kick this in to the long grass".

Not sure if this has been covered here, but this boils my pee.
What does that even MEAN?

BTW Google "totalitarisatining" and the only result you get is this thread thumbup Having read the word over a few times, I still cannot figure out how to pronounce it :-/

Countdown

39,690 posts

195 months

Wednesday 21st January 2015
quotequote all
LeoZwalf said:
WinkleHoff said:
"Let's kick this in to the long grass".

Not sure if this has been covered here, but this boils my pee.
What does that even MEAN?

BTW Google "totalitarisatining" and the only result you get is this thread thumbup Having read the word over a few times, I still cannot figure out how to pronounce it :-/
Long grass = hidden, out of the way, forgotten about...

Tbh that's been used so often and for so long I hadn't realised it came under Mgmt BS biggrin

JonRB

74,402 posts

271 months

Wednesday 21st January 2015
quotequote all
Countdown said:
Long grass = hidden, out of the way, forgotten about...

Tbh that's been used so often and for so long I hadn't realised it came under Mgmt BS biggrin
True. Although it definitely still has the whiff of BS about it because "let's defer that" or "let's postpone that" would be just as good. smile

Hitch78

6,100 posts

193 months

Wednesday 21st January 2015
quotequote all
Unless of course you are a golfer and kicking something into the long grass may actually be a tactic one might use. You're blurring the lines between management BS and industry specific technical jargon again JohnRB!

Johnnytheboy

24,498 posts

185 months

Friday 6th February 2015
quotequote all
swerni said:
If you have no need to leverage a network or don't have the ability, then it's of no use at all.
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=210&t=1482199&mid=142450&nmt=I+don%26apos%3Bt+get+LinkedIn+

cloggy

4,959 posts

208 months

Friday 6th February 2015
quotequote all
JonRB said:
True. Although it definitely still has the whiff of BS about it because "let's defer that" or "let's postpone that" would be just as good. smile
or, lets put this on the back burner.

Sharted

2,615 posts

142 months

Friday 6th February 2015
quotequote all
JonRB said:
I'd say that's more than OTT - it's downright offensive and out of order.
Offensive to terrorists?

toon10

6,140 posts

156 months

Friday 6th February 2015
quotequote all
cloggy said:
or, lets put this on the back burner.
"Mm huh, yeah, liking that. OK erm, I'm thinking we'll go right ahead and just park that idea. It's not in scope on this one but yeah great out of the box thinking there."

Thanks, so does that mean we can all forget about my suggestion then?...