'True Lad' - Banter

[FraserLFA]

I'm just picturing them all looking like this...

[heta1]

Chris_w666 said:

heta1 said:

Pointless wkers, talking pointless bks.

Oi we like it here.

Ooops, not here, there.

[heta1]

FraserLFA said:

I'm just picturing them all looking like this...

That is one scary picture.

Every now and then a gang of tools such as this wander into my local. It is mind blowing listening to them.

The other night one was telling his mate how he drove from Derby to Mansfield and back in 20 minutes, utter cock.

Oh well live and let live I suppose.

[Frankeh]

champ54321 said:

Tiggsy said:

champ54321 said:

i'm no superhero said:

' Mate got absolutely bazookered after a night out and started to drive home. Trying to be cautious while driving past a police car, they turn round and stop him. Before they can start talking to him, he pulls his keys out of the ignition throws them in the road then grabs a bottle of vodka from the glove compartment and steps outside with it. As the cozzers approach him he starts literally downing the vodka. They wait for him to finish his swig and ask him why he's just done this. He said he suffers from anxiety and is an alcoholic and seeing the police gave him a panic attack, so he had to start drinking. Couldn't have breathalised him as it would have been pointless and unreliable. Law-knowing, drink-driving LAD'

• The second one is car related for PH. I don't think it is good, but nonetheless funny.*

Not that I'm trying to say drink driving is a good thing..... but that is a genious idea!

Serious? You think that would work? Good luck in court!

If the lawyer could prove that he amount of vodka you consumed was resposible for the amount of alcohol in your breath test i would say its possible, not that I would reccomend any one go and try it!

I know of someone who has got themselves out of a ban, although not in in such an immediate situation, by proving the amount consumed was after the car was found.

My brother drank drove and got banned.
They picked him up an hour later in his bed though.

Now I think about it, I have no idea how he got banned. IIRC he no commented everything which fked himself over.

He should have said he got home and had a few drinks.

Still though, he drank drove so fk him.

[FraserLFA]

heta1 said:

Oh well live and let live I suppose.

Really? Do we have to?

[heta1]

FraserLFA said:

heta1 said:

Oh well live and let live I suppose.

Really? Do we have to?

No, now that you mention it we don't........fk 'em

[Scrumper]

musclecarmad said:

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

[W333]

Scrumper said:

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

LAD

[Famous Graham]

Scrumper said:

musclecarmad said:

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

[750turbo]

Famous Graham said:

Scrumper said:

musclecarmad said:

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

What utter utter fkin pish!

[Or888t]

W333 said:

Scrumper said:

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

LAD

"lad"

Edited by Or888t on Thursday 13th May 03:35

Edited by Or888t on Thursday 13th May 03:35

[Famous Graham]

750turbo said:

Famous Graham said:

Scrumper said:

musclecarmad said:

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

What utter utter fkin pish!

Have a "whooosh"

[Jammy2008]

Or888t said:

W333 said:

Scrumper said:

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

LAD

"lad"

Edited by Or888t on Thursday 13th May 03:35

Edited by Or888t on Thursday 13th May 03:35

lad


Sourrounded by laddery

[heta1]

Oops

Edited by heta1 on Thursday 13th May 10:32

[heta1]

Scrumper said:

musclecarmad said:

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.




Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

Tosser

Edited by heta1 on Thursday 13th May 10:34

[Neil H]

Scrumper said:

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.

Cheers,

Phileas

Very good

[Flying Toilet]

heta1 said:

Scrumper said:

musclecarmad said:

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.




Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

Tosser

Edited by heta1 on Thursday 13th May 10:34

That took an edit? Really?!

[Neil H]

Flying Toilet said:

heta1 said:

Tosser

Edited by heta1 on Thursday 13th May 10:34

That took an edit? Really?!

It originally said 'knobhead', I guess he really agonises over his insults.

[Zod]

heta1 said:

Scrumper said:

musclecarmad said:

the saturday we went out to party in mayfair (still felt rough when we arrived from the friday) and again the stories would make you gasp!

I remember one night at a club in Mayfair a few years ago, the usual sort of thing, booze, birds, lots of banter. There's a bit of back and forth going on with another group in there who got in about the same time as us. They're sniffing round our ladies, flexin', acting like dicks. Snotty rich bds, but we've all had a few and it's turning a bit nasty - not that that bothers me! I love a scrap, me. Anyway, just before it kicks off I think to myself "right, I've got to sort this out, filth everywhere outside and the night is way too young to end up in the slammer," so I call out the 'leader' of the other group and offer to settle it with a bet. He's game, being a rich bd, and he takes me up on it. It's goes totally crazy after that, I could probably write a book but you'd never believe the stuff that happened! Well, long story short, 80 days later I'm back at the club, this fit foreign bird on my arm and a few more stamps in my passport, and I collect my winnings off the Rupert.




Cheers,

Phileas

Edited by Scrumper on Wednesday 12th May 20:06

Tosser

Edited by heta1 on Thursday 13th May 10:34

Are you really as thick as this post suggests, heta?


ETA: read the back of a pack of Phileas Fogg tortillas. You might learn something.

Edited by Zod on Thursday 13th May 10:47

[t84]

Zod said:

ETA: read the back of a pack of Phileas Fogg tortillas. You might learn something.

Do you tend to gain most of your education from the text on the back of crisp packets?