Chat up lines/topics of conversation for pulling

[bertie]

VeeTEC said:

A mate of mine once walked up to a girl and said:

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

It's a song, apparently.

It worked IIRC

So young.....you dont even remember the song...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_I_Said_You_Had_a_B...


When used in a bar, I believe it is normally modified to be:-

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you swallow 10 inches?"

[snakeswitht1ts]

Famous Graham said:

snakeswitht1ts said:

He also will go up to a woman, begin a normal conversation, draw them in a bit, then say " nah, actualy don't worry" And go to walk off. The lady will the chirp and ask why the abrupt exit. He replies " I just dont think your dirty/naughty/filthy enough"

Apparently they will then do their upmost to prove how naughty the are.

Says it works nearly every time!

I bet he wears Sex Panther as well.

I'll enquire as to how often it works, if he says 60% of the time...

[Cock Womble 7]

Some several years ago, I was in a nightclub in Guildford and got chatting to a rather nice looking laydee.

She mentioned that she enjoyed horse riding.

I said "That figures, you've got a horsey face".

It took me a while to explain to her that I didn't mean that she had a face like a horse, but looked the "horsey" type.

Got a shag out of it though.

[Rude-boy]

"I many not look like Fred Flintstone but if you give me the chance I'll make your Bedrock."

I many have used this once.

It may have been a bet.

It may have worked to the amazement of a number of pissed up mates

I may have been so impressed with the results that I never called in the 'bet'.

[Mr E]

Rude-boy said:

It may have been a bet.

We used to love the "pick a chat-up line out of a hat" game.

Much like you, my mate pulled "blimey, you don't sweat much for a fat bird". He chose to deploy the line on the best looking girl in the club. It worked.

He always was a jammy bugger.

[Stevenj214]

Chat up line: "Hi"

Topic of conversation: Names are a good start

[snakeswitht1ts]

Just remembered I did use a line a few years back...

Me: "Do you like jewellery?"

Her: "Yeah"

Me: "Well suck my cock, it's a gem"



Went down very well (pun intended)

[B.J.W]

Stevenj214 said:

Chat up line: "Hi"

Topic of conversation: Names are a good start

After surveying the love he had engineered with his words of wisdom, Chat Up Guru gently smiled and quietly said to himself...

"my work here is done"

[Justayellowbadge]

God.

I thought

"Can I smell your pussy?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Ah, it must be your feet, then."


was a bad joke, but it seems some here would actually use it.

[ErnestM]

Chat up lines don't actually work, most of the time, but if you insist...

"Look at you with those curves, and me with no brakes..."

"Do you know the difference between sex and conversation? No? Lie down and we'll have chat"

--- and finally (only works on US Southern Baptist Minister's daughters) ---

"God sent me..."

[wargriff]

Chat up lines ???????

I have to beat them off with a stick...








this may not be totally true.

[Bernard80]

"Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

[Justayellowbadge]

Bernard80 said:

"Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

Josh Hartnett said:

"No."

[Bernard80]

Justayellowbadge said:

Bernard80 said:

"Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

Josh Hartnett said:

"No."

My approach with Josh Harnett would be a lot less subtle.

I imagine the answer would still be the same though.

[alfa pint]

I used to keep an onion in my pocket. "excuse me pet. Can you smell onions?" was the opening line. She'd inevitably say "no". I would then show her the onion. "What, not even when they're this close?"

Female vic and bob fans loved it. A bit too surreal for the thick and the drunk.

[Original Poster]

A mate told me a very good one that she had done to her in America a few months ago...

A bloke walked up to her and said "are you a vet by any chance?"

She said "no, why?"

He then proceeded to make a swan shape with his arm whilst flexing his muscle (do it and it will make sense) and said "because this swan, is sick"


For the oldies amongst us, sick=amazing

[Cock Womble 7]

Original Poster said:

A mate told me a very good one that she had done to her in America a few months ago...

A bloke walked up to her and said "are you a vet by any chance?"

She said "no, why?"

He then proceeded to make a swan shape with his arm whilst flexing his muscle (do it and it will make sense) and said "because this swan, is sick"


For the oldies amongst us, sick=amazing

I would like to think, or in fact hope, for the future of mankind, that that approach would see the "swan-ee" laughed out of the venue. By everyone in the venue, not just his "target".

That sucks.

(For the oldies amongst us, sucks = sucks)

[Incorrigible]

[tales from my youth]

"My mates bet me I wouldn't dare chat up the best looking bird in here"

[/tales from my youth]

Still got the scars

[slomax]

male: so, i heard you like sleeping, yeah?
female: eeerrr, yeah i guess.
male: cool, me too, maybe we should try it together sometime.

[creasede]

one thats worked for me...

how much does a polar bear weigh?

enough to brake the ice!!