Lost a friend & former colleague today :(
Discussion
A guy I worked with for about 8 years, the last 4 years being in the same office, died today from a heart attack. Although I left the job last year, we kept in touch and had a bit of banter about footy, cars and stuff, and I last spoke to him 2 weeks ago.
He was only 30...
I'm a bit stunned about it, he was on antibiotics for a chest infection and took the last few days off work.
What has got me thinking though, is that this is the first person in any of my social circles around my age group that has died. I have been lucky enough not to lose any lose friends in car accidents, ill health, in active service, or criminal acts. I also come from a relatively small, but well aging family and have only lost great grandparents, a couple of distant uncles and my mothers brother.
Despite being 34, I feel somewhat unaccustomed to any sort of grieving process. It's an odd feeling. I think his age has put me in a contemplative frame of mind.
No real purpose to this post, except I just feel a bit better for talking/typing/rambling about it.
He was only 30...
I'm a bit stunned about it, he was on antibiotics for a chest infection and took the last few days off work.
What has got me thinking though, is that this is the first person in any of my social circles around my age group that has died. I have been lucky enough not to lose any lose friends in car accidents, ill health, in active service, or criminal acts. I also come from a relatively small, but well aging family and have only lost great grandparents, a couple of distant uncles and my mothers brother.
Despite being 34, I feel somewhat unaccustomed to any sort of grieving process. It's an odd feeling. I think his age has put me in a contemplative frame of mind.
No real purpose to this post, except I just feel a bit better for talking/typing/rambling about it.
Don said:
The first time that happened to me I was 19.
A mate at college who shared the house we were living in died. He was a diabetic and shouldn't have been drinking - but did - I didn't know. Everynone went to bed but the next morning the poor lad was dead.
Very, very shocking.
Truly gutted for both of you!A mate at college who shared the house we were living in died. He was a diabetic and shouldn't have been drinking - but did - I didn't know. Everynone went to bed but the next morning the poor lad was dead.
Very, very shocking.
I have a big family and we had a couple of deaths, my niece died at 23 because a truck drove into her car, and an uncle crossed a fast road at 42, without checking properly.
I was gutted with both, but being very young at the time I didn't understand it that well.
I'm 25 now and it has been a while since I've lost someone, but my only grandparent left is getting closer to 100 years, so you know it can happen
.I don't know how I would react if someone I know of my age would die now, though.
Steve in Stoke said:
Despite being 34, I feel somewhat unaccustomed to any sort of grieving process. It's an odd feeling. I think his age has put me in a contemplative frame of mind.
No real purpose to this post, except I just feel a bit better for talking/typing/rambling about it.
30 is way too young - very sorry to read about that, a tragedy for his family and friends.No real purpose to this post, except I just feel a bit better for talking/typing/rambling about it.
As you get older friends die, it never gets any easier.
A colleague of mine died last year due to pancreatic cancer.
He was THE NICEST man I have ever met. No question.
He ate healthily, exercised, regularly tended to his garden and allotment, was quiet and unassuming, good at his job.
Robbed from the world in his early 50s.
We were never friends, just colleagues. Sat next to each other at work, he was my boss so I often did work for him.
He was one of those guys, that no matter what he asked in terms of work, I never felt begrudged in doing it.
Just goes to show that living healthily isn't a guarantee to long life. My grandad is now 96 and has lead a most unhealthy existence, smoking, drinking, goose fat on toast for breakfast, but he's still going strong.
Enjoy those that mean something to you.
He was THE NICEST man I have ever met. No question.
He ate healthily, exercised, regularly tended to his garden and allotment, was quiet and unassuming, good at his job.
Robbed from the world in his early 50s.
We were never friends, just colleagues. Sat next to each other at work, he was my boss so I often did work for him.
He was one of those guys, that no matter what he asked in terms of work, I never felt begrudged in doing it.
Just goes to show that living healthily isn't a guarantee to long life. My grandad is now 96 and has lead a most unhealthy existence, smoking, drinking, goose fat on toast for breakfast, but he's still going strong.
Enjoy those that mean something to you.
Steve in Stoke said:
What has got me thinking though, is that this is the first person in any of my social circles around my age group that has died. I have been lucky enough not to lose any lose friends in car accidents, ill health, in active service, or criminal acts. I also come from a relatively small, but well aging family and have only lost great grandparents, a couple of distant uncles and my mothers brother.
Same here (also 34) and I'm dreading when it happens.30 is far too young, poor fella.
8400rpm said:
A colleague of mine died last year due to pancreatic cancer.
He was THE NICEST man I have ever met. No question.
We lost a mate to pancreatic cancer a couple of years back - in her 40's with two young children.He was THE NICEST man I have ever met. No question.
She chose to spend her last couple of weeks in a hospice and I've often wondered how difficult it must have been leaving home to go there knowing you wouldn't be coming back.
Marquis_Rex said:
rich1231 said:
You have to live as if every day is your last.
Sooo deep 
Very clever.No wonder the US/UK are in the mess they're in.
I think it was meant in sentiment rather than literally.
Very sad all of this. I've only lost older family members through either age or cancer, both of which are more expected. I'm sure I'd feel really odd about it if it happened to me.
Marquis_Rex said:
rich1231 said:
You have to live as if every day is your last.
Sooo deep Very clever.No wonder the US/UK are in the mess they're in.
Being only 18 I haven't lost any friends yet luckily, although obviously the time will come and you never know when.
You only live once, and it's best to make the most of it, regardless of what he's said above.
Chin up OP, think of the good times
Its a big shock to the system, a guy exactly a year younger than me(29), died running a marathon in Spain a while back. It was a huge shock because he was as fit as f
k all his life and very active in the local community. He seemed the most healthy balanced guy you could know.
It will take time for the shock to pass, and a period of contemplation will follow, remember the laughs you had with him, thats all you can do. Hope it feels better soon.
k all his life and very active in the local community. He seemed the most healthy balanced guy you could know.It will take time for the shock to pass, and a period of contemplation will follow, remember the laughs you had with him, thats all you can do. Hope it feels better soon.
Skylinecrazy said:
Marquis_Rex said:
rich1231 said:
You have to live as if every day is your last.
Sooo deep Very clever.No wonder the US/UK are in the mess they're in.
Being only 18 I haven't lost any friends yet luckily, although obviously the time will come and you never know when.
You only live once, and it's best to make the most of it, regardless of what he's said above.
Chin up OP, think of the good times
Our friend losing there 2.5yr old son was probably the hardest one because of the age and feeling so helpless for the parents.
Losing 3 very close family members in 4 months was awful even though they were older.
I knew of 3 lads at school that died in their teens, 1 car crash, 1 drugs over dose and 1 cancer. It didn't seem real at the time because of our ages.
It will be a shock esp if you have not really had to experience anything like this before, not much I can say but don't pretend you're coping if you are not, it will get better.
Losing 3 very close family members in 4 months was awful even though they were older.
I knew of 3 lads at school that died in their teens, 1 car crash, 1 drugs over dose and 1 cancer. It didn't seem real at the time because of our ages.
It will be a shock esp if you have not really had to experience anything like this before, not much I can say but don't pretend you're coping if you are not, it will get better.
Edited by becksW on Thursday 5th August 22:59
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