The return of 'Fat chicken kid'.
Discussion
Well, some months ago I started a thread about how horrible other people kids were.
A little reminder
I had the pleasure of Part Deux this weekend.
Same bunch of people (wifes friends), different location. Luckily it wasn't my house that 'fat chicken kid' (let's call him FCK) was gorging his little fat face at. Some other poor b'stard had that pleasure on Saturday afternoon.
Well, we turned up at 3pm and FCK was already there. I spotted him across the garden like a hawk spots a fieldmouse. And similar to the hawk, my every instinct was to rip him limb from limb. This time we had the added bonus that his useless parents had also brought his rancid little sister along. We'll call her Veruca Salt. Anybody having seen "Willy Wonker and the Chocolate factory" will know what a spoilt little s
t she is.
I digress.
I grabbed myself a cider and thought 'ignore them'. No such luck. My wife dragged me over to say hello and I spent the next hour hearing how FCK and Veruca were "top of their class, wonderful children, nobel peace prize nominees, nuclear physicists, and all round amazing fking human beings".
My inner voice was screaming "like fk they are" but somehow my hypocritical mouth uttered "aaaah, how nice for you" whilst trying to force a bucketload of bile back down my retching gullet.
The best was still to come.
Veruca ran round trying to be the centre of attention all afternoon which was bearable but her bloated brother was the star of the show.
Our wonderful hosts spent most of the afternoon BBQing and making sure everyone was well watered. On announcing that the food was ready FCK ran to the front of the queue and proceeded to shove several other kids & adults out the way. Nice. He then filled his plate with a portion of food that would make V8Mate look like an advert for Anorexia UK.
The disgusting little porkbelly then pushed the mountain of food into his well exercised jaws until most of it was gone before pushing his way to the front again..
This then continued with desserts and ice creams where he put his hand up for 'seconds'..
On finishing his food he then demanded that the rest of the kids turn the film off the TV because he wanted to see some other programme that he was missing. The host refused as she thought it best to keep the majority of the kids happy and upon this the spoilt brats parents asked if he could "watch it upstairs" as he "needed to see it". Upon informing the cocksockets that they did not have Sky multi-room he burst into tears and threw himself on the floor.
It was at this point I'd had about 6 drinks and I couldn't hold my anger any longer, so told him to 'man up'. At this, he looked through red, teary eyes, began to sob more and demanded that his mother give him the car keys so he could sit in the car. He then stayed there for the next hour (10/10 for persistance) until upon my departure I gave him a cheery wave and mouthed the words "fking bellend" at him. looking on the plus side, at least sitting in a roasting hot car for an hour may have helped him lose a little weight.
I came to the conclusion that my children are angels and I shall never moan about them again.
Others peoples kids & FCK:s.
A little reminder
I had the pleasure of Part Deux this weekend.
Same bunch of people (wifes friends), different location. Luckily it wasn't my house that 'fat chicken kid' (let's call him FCK) was gorging his little fat face at. Some other poor b'stard had that pleasure on Saturday afternoon.
Well, we turned up at 3pm and FCK was already there. I spotted him across the garden like a hawk spots a fieldmouse. And similar to the hawk, my every instinct was to rip him limb from limb. This time we had the added bonus that his useless parents had also brought his rancid little sister along. We'll call her Veruca Salt. Anybody having seen "Willy Wonker and the Chocolate factory" will know what a spoilt little s
t she is. I digress.
I grabbed myself a cider and thought 'ignore them'. No such luck. My wife dragged me over to say hello and I spent the next hour hearing how FCK and Veruca were "top of their class, wonderful children, nobel peace prize nominees, nuclear physicists, and all round amazing f
king human beings". My inner voice was screaming "like f
k they are" but somehow my hypocritical mouth uttered "aaaah, how nice for you" whilst trying to force a bucketload of bile back down my retching gullet.The best was still to come.
Veruca ran round trying to be the centre of attention all afternoon which was bearable but her bloated brother was the star of the show.
Our wonderful hosts spent most of the afternoon BBQing and making sure everyone was well watered. On announcing that the food was ready FCK ran to the front of the queue and proceeded to shove several other kids & adults out the way. Nice. He then filled his plate with a portion of food that would make V8Mate look like an advert for Anorexia UK.
The disgusting little porkbelly then pushed the mountain of food into his well exercised jaws until most of it was gone before pushing his way to the front again.
.This then continued with desserts and ice creams where he put his hand up for 'seconds'.
.On finishing his food he then demanded that the rest of the kids turn the film off the TV because he wanted to see some other programme that he was missing. The host refused as she thought it best to keep the majority of the kids happy and upon this the spoilt brats parents asked if he could "watch it upstairs" as he "needed to see it". Upon informing the cocksockets that they did not have Sky multi-room he burst into tears and threw himself on the floor.
It was at this point I'd had about 6 drinks and I couldn't hold my anger any longer, so told him to 'man up'. At this, he looked through red, teary eyes, began to sob more and demanded that his mother give him the car keys so he could sit in the car. He then stayed there for the next hour (10/10 for persistance) until upon my departure I gave him a cheery wave and mouthed the words "f
king bellend" at him. looking on the plus side, at least sitting in a roasting hot car for an hour may have helped him lose a little weight.I came to the conclusion that my children are angels and I shall never moan about them again.
Others peoples kids & FCK:
s.
Meanwhile, on the way back from the CVM family holiday in Benidorm...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbnRRGISLQE&fea...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbnRRGISLQE&fea...
Andy Zarse said:
Meanwhile, on the way back from the CVM family holiday in Benidorm...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbnRRGISLQE&fea...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbnRRGISLQE&fea...
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