The return of 'Fat chicken kid'.

[southendpier]

Roo said:

southendpier said:

i think it would be rare for a parent to smack a kid once and then for that kid to think 'i better not do that (bad thing), i might get a smacks'.

Worked when I was growing up.

You were smackedonce.and you never misbehaved again?

or your parent lost it once and never did it again?

why would a parent need to smack just one time? it either hurts and scares the child or scares and mentally scars the adult.

Repeat heaters and naughty.children i understand because this shows the smacking doesn't work. Which is my point.

[Roo]

southendpier said:

You were smackedonce.and you never misbehaved again?

Not that I never misbehaved again, just that I never did anything bad enough to justify getting smacked again.

[Mr Dave]

alock said:

GT03ROB said:

Mr Dave said:

Right this has rightly annoyed me because I'm in a shot mood already.

"the kid is not the problem" Well actually yes he is. Yes the parents are the source of the problem, but it is the kid that is being the problem to other people. Bit like a criminal isn't the problem it's society. Excuse me, society didn't break into my house, steal my car keys and rape me dog. That would be the criminal. The cause needs fixing and so does the symptom.

If I went to the doctor with the never ending squits and he gave me tablets that cured the cause in 4 months I wouldn't be happy, or any of the other 6 dwarves, I'd want some immodium or something too that would work quickly.

And those that say all hitting of kids is beating or abusing them well you mighty be able to see things better if you pulled your head out of your arse. We are mostly adults, we are strong and kids are weak and puny and oh so easy to beat. The whole thing about using common sense is knowing that what is a light tap in reality is a big deal to a kid, if you hit a kid as hard as you would hit an adult then you are scum. It may be fun to properly hit a kid but anyone abusing anyone smaller, weaker, less vulnerable or animals or whatever are full fledged s and bullies.

As real men we all should stand up for those more vulnerable than ourselves otherwise you are just a yellow .

You should know when a smack should be used and that it should be reasonable, fair, explained to the child. After that the mere threat of a smack should be enough to encourage good behaviour. Then if you have done right you shouldn't need to do it again. Ever. Other lesser punishments and the fear of a smack will be enough. Threats should always be followed up on and carried out otherwise no use, and in my opinion an empty threat is worse than no threat.

Kids should have a healthy respect for their authority figures backed up by the knowledge that if they are out of line it will be dealt with severly. They also should know things can be worse and that a smack is bad but you can always smack harder. A big problem is 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce and there are many single parents now and unfortunately a lot
of the children from these backgrounds are little s.

Parents who pander to their kids every whim are also stupid.

I was a bit spoiled and treated too softly but I was and still am terrified of my dad, he only ever slapped me once and by fk I was far too scared to fk him around. Even when I was wee I knew it was tantamount to suicide although I now realise he would probably have cried at having to hit me or the wee brother.

It is my opinion that there are too many men who shy away from their responsibilities (and women) these days and that the lack of spine is a huge problem.


Also what is wrong with children being children, they grow up too fast and get treated like little adults now. They are not little adults, that would be anpygmy or a dwarf or a midget or a runt. Children don't need to feel entitled to everything and definately don't need mobile phones when they are 5, games consoles when they are 7 , laptops with the Internet at 0, wee girls having push up bras and all that st, cut it out for fk sake. Also kids with adult movies and games when they are far too young is mental. fk.

Edited by Mr Dave on Sunday 8th August 03:27

This man doth speak wise words. Well said Mr Dave.

Disagree. It sounds like you live in a black and white world where the good parents accept that a smack is often required and the ones that don't accept this are bad parents. There are many good parents who manage without smacking their children, and many bad parents who justify smacking as necessary when often the issue could have been handled differently.

I'm not against smacking, I just know that if I ever had to resort to it, I would be ashamed with myself for not spotting the issue earlier and dealing with it in a better way.

The fact that you give a toss enough that resorting to smacking your kid would ashame you means you are probably a good parent.

I think what I maybe didnt explain is I think a really good parent shouldnt need to smack their child and in many cases not having to is a mark that they have suceeded in being good parents. I do think a parent who will never under any circumstances smack their child is either extremely foolish or a bad parent. Setting fire to the cat cant be dealt with being told thats naught and not getting any sweets or being made to stand on a naught step I reckon.

[eldar]

Children need order. They need to know what is acceptable and what isn't, and exactly how far they can push boundaries. For example, when a parent says NO and demands an immediate response (running out into roads, pushing nails into electrical sockets!).

A smack, not hard, not done in anger, to surprise rather than hurt helps clarify that boundary. It is hard to reason with a stroppy 4 year old without some kind of sanction they know might just be used. quickly. A stare of steel or a discussion about the morals of state vs parental responsibility sometimes isn't enough....