Match.com (Volume 3)
Discussion
Mr E Driver said:
I think it's a bit different, more unusual when a woman has wandering eyes as with blokes it is fairly normal. Genes and all that stuff.
I'm keen to know what you base this assumption on. I know plenty of girls who will openly stare at, and talk about 'hot' guys when we're out at a club or bar.Mr E Driver said:
I would turn and look to see who she is looking at and then discuss them.
No. Just no. Never.If you follow this advice, you will end up having an unnecessary argument with your ladyfriend in a public place (potentially with her friends at close-quarters).
If you want to talk to her about it, do so when you are alone.
Dave200 said:
NobleGuy said:
Dave200 said:
Sounds a bit like insecurity, Guy.
Frankly, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest where my other half was looking - unless I thought, even for one second, that she was looking for someone to cheat on me with.
Has she given any indications that she's less-than-settled with you?
This is my worry, that it's just good old insecurities that I thought I'd overcome but are coming back to haunt me. It seems that being in a relationship is the best way to kill my confidence Frankly, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest where my other half was looking - unless I thought, even for one second, that she was looking for someone to cheat on me with.
Has she given any indications that she's less-than-settled with you?
No, she hasn't actually. If anything she's hinting at plans quicker than I'm entirely comfortable with...
Out of interest, if you are walking down the street and a young lady with 'uplifting' underwear and low-cut top comes the opposite way, what do you do?
Do you avert your gaze? Or, like 90%+ of the straight male population, do you have a ruddy good gander at her norks?
Does this "gander" make you any more likely to run off and cheat on your new belle?
Men and women aren't really all that different, you know...
However if you do think that it may be affecting you and therefore your relationship, just have a word with her about it, it doesn't have to turn into a big shouty argument.
Everyone looks and I've always stood by the phrase "window shopping" - it hurts no-one.
NobleGuy said:
Plotloss said:
Doesn't matter where you get your appetite old son, as long as you come home to eat.
Thing is that's fine to a point, but it's starting to cloud my judgement in terms of what I think we have. I don't know...over-sensitive maybe? It's just that I remember her gazing periodically over my shoulder at a resturant a few weeks ago and she had a little smile at the bloke as he left. Did not make me feel good at all and I can imagine how she would react if I did that. I also know blokes that would erupt and trash the joint if she had been with them.
I went on a date, actually it was our second, and all was going great until she bumped into some friends in the pub (I'm ok with saying hello, she knows a lot of people) and she introduced me as "This is my boyfriend. I know, amazing at long last!" 
Once they left I questioned why she said it but she just got arsey with my "Overeaction"
Once they left I questioned why she said it but she just got arsey with my "Overeaction"
Dave200 said:
Mr E Driver said:
I think it's a bit different, more unusual when a woman has wandering eyes as with blokes it is fairly normal. Genes and all that stuff.
I'm keen to know what you base this assumption on. I know plenty of girls who will openly stare at, and talk about 'hot' guys when we're out at a club or bar.Mr E Driver said:
I would turn and look to see who she is looking at and then discuss them.
No. Just no. Never.If you follow this advice, you will end up having an unnecessary argument with your ladyfriend in a public place (potentially with her friends at close-quarters).
If you want to talk to her about it, do so when you are alone.
No, I take your point. It's a difficult one for me - I was thinking about mentioning it to one or two of our mutual friends in the hope they might pass it on.
NobleGuy said:
As in "So...what's so f'in special about him?!"
No, I take your point. It's a difficult one for me - I was thinking about mentioning it to one or two of our mutual friends in the hope they might pass it on.
Don't do that, it'll end up a disaster when she asks "why can't you just talk to me?"No, I take your point. It's a difficult one for me - I was thinking about mentioning it to one or two of our mutual friends in the hope they might pass it on.
You're the same as me, you get paranoid because you've been s
t on from a great height before, you've just got to try and ignore that, I know it's hard, trust me.WorAl said:
NobleGuy said:
As in "So...what's so f'in special about him?!"
No, I take your point. It's a difficult one for me - I was thinking about mentioning it to one or two of our mutual friends in the hope they might pass it on.
Don't do that, it'll end up a disaster when she asks "why can't you just talk to me?"No, I take your point. It's a difficult one for me - I was thinking about mentioning it to one or two of our mutual friends in the hope they might pass it on.
You're the same as me, you get paranoid because you've been s
t on from a great height before, you've just got to try and ignore that, I know it's hard, trust me.raredevil said:
My take on it. Unavailable women smile or make eye contact with men all the time but at the end of the day they still go home with their husband/boyfriend. Some women are naturally flirtatious and some do this to reassure themselves they are either still attractive or able to get attention.
Hmmm. That's an interesting take on it that I hadn't considered. And I have to confess I made eyes and smiles at two ladies on the way home last night for those very reasons of my own...makes me a bit of a hypocrit doesn't it? God this has turned out a lot more positive than I expected
Edited by NobleGuy on Tuesday 10th August 14:18
Dave200 said:
Mr E Driver said:
I think it's a bit different, more unusual when a woman has wandering eyes as with blokes it is fairly normal. Genes and all that stuff.
I'm keen to know what you base this assumption on. I know plenty of girls who will openly stare at, and talk about 'hot' guys when we're out at a club or bar.Mr E Driver said:
I would turn and look to see who she is looking at and then discuss them.
No. Just no. Never.If you follow this advice, you will end up having an unnecessary argument with your ladyfriend in a public place (potentially with her friends at close-quarters).
If you want to talk to her about it, do so when you are alone.
You know when someone's 'just not that into you', difficult as it can be to admit that to yourself.
Mobile Chicane said:
Dave200 said:
Mr E Driver said:
I think it's a bit different, more unusual when a woman has wandering eyes as with blokes it is fairly normal. Genes and all that stuff.
I'm keen to know what you base this assumption on. I know plenty of girls who will openly stare at, and talk about 'hot' guys when we're out at a club or bar.Mr E Driver said:
I would turn and look to see who she is looking at and then discuss them.
No. Just no. Never.If you follow this advice, you will end up having an unnecessary argument with your ladyfriend in a public place (potentially with her friends at close-quarters).
If you want to talk to her about it, do so when you are alone.
You know when someone's 'just not that into you', difficult as it can be to admit that to yourself.
NobleGuy said:
It REALLY upsets me even though she picked up on me being 'bored' (completely p***sed off actually...) and seemed to be as into me as much as ever that night.
Incidentally, this is the last path you should be following.You're a grown man - you should be able to either talk about or deal with your feelings. Bottling it all up, and having a sulk is probably the only thing guaranteed to derail the relationship...
GTIR said:
I went on a date, actually it was our second, and all was going great until she bumped into some friends in the pub (I'm ok with saying hello, she knows a lot of people) and she introduced me as "This is my boyfriend. I know, amazing at long last!"
Once they left I questioned why she said it but she just got arsey with my "Overeaction"
What else was she going to introduce you as? It's not as though she said fiancee is it?Once they left I questioned why she said it but she just got arsey with my "Overeaction"
Mobile Chicane said:
You know when someone's 'just not that into you', difficult as it can be to admit that to yourself.
Stop being so cynical you.If/when you're with a bloke, would you expect him to never "check out" other women ever again? No. Women aren't any different either.
Of course you're never going to know the truth NG, you just have to see things through, but you can't base your fears or mistrust her because of your paranoid instincts. You never know, things may just work out fine.
NobleGuy said:
Go on then... Things have been going great with this newish girlie of mine, except I've noticed something that I'd noticed in patches before, but this time it was blatant.
Saturday night at a bar in town with a group of friends she was chatting to her friend but she spent far too much time gazing in another direction, and I just knew that when I got up to go to the bar I'd pass the area and it would be a group of blokes.
Now, I'm realsitic, we all look a little bit...but this was blatant. Dilemma is to confront her about it and look like a complete control-freak, or to just sit back and let her get on with it, form a clearer picture in my head and do something about it later? Or not?
It REALLY upsets me even though she picked up on me being 'bored' (completely p***sed off actually...) and seemed to be as into me as much as ever that night.
This sounds just like what a girl I was seeing several years ago did. Like you, I thought nothing of it, because the relationship was going swimmingly. We had a connection on an emotional level, a physical level, and the time we spent together was always great. Saturday night at a bar in town with a group of friends she was chatting to her friend but she spent far too much time gazing in another direction, and I just knew that when I got up to go to the bar I'd pass the area and it would be a group of blokes.
Now, I'm realsitic, we all look a little bit...but this was blatant. Dilemma is to confront her about it and look like a complete control-freak, or to just sit back and let her get on with it, form a clearer picture in my head and do something about it later? Or not?
It REALLY upsets me even though she picked up on me being 'bored' (completely p***sed off actually...) and seemed to be as into me as much as ever that night.
Or so I thought anyway, because about 3 months into it when I was over for the weekend she mentioned that she had a date on the following Wednesday.
I never did work out whether it was a really lousy way of telling someone you want to break up with them, or whether she was just an utter tramp.
Cactussed said:
GTIR said:
I went on a date, actually it was our second, and all was going great until she bumped into some friends in the pub (I'm ok with saying hello, she knows a lot of people) and she introduced me as "This is my boyfriend. I know, amazing at long last!"
Once they left I questioned why she said it but she just got arsey with my "Overeaction"
What else was she going to introduce you as? It's not as though she said fiancee is it?Once they left I questioned why she said it but she just got arsey with my "Overeaction"
kbuddy?Dave200 said:
NobleGuy said:
It REALLY upsets me even though she picked up on me being 'bored' (completely p***sed off actually...) and seemed to be as into me as much as ever that night.
Incidentally, this is the last path you should be following.You're a grown man - you should be able to either talk about or deal with your feelings. Bottling it all up, and having a sulk is probably the only thing guaranteed to derail the relationship...
I am a bit of a sulker and she knows it already...
Mobile Chicane said:
You know when someone's 'just not that into you', difficult as it can be to admit that to yourself.
That's the thing. Apart from this issue she seems to be completely into me. She showers me with touches and kisses, often rubs her feet up and down my legs at the table, loves falling asleep wrapped round me to the point where I can't breathe or move...the silly little things like that all seem fine to me.GTIR said:
I went on a date, actually it was our second, and all was going great until she bumped into some friends in the pub (I'm ok with saying hello, she knows a lot of people) and she introduced me as "This is my boyfriend. I know, amazing at long last!"
Once they left I questioned why she said it but she just got arsey with my "Overeaction"
You sort out the hack saw; I'll get the bin bags.Once they left I questioned why she said it but she just got arsey with my "Overeaction"
Mobile Chicane said:
On the other hand it could be that Guy's been droning on about his car again, and she's not ogling other blokes, her eyes have simply glazed over with boredom...
Ha ha! No my friends did the "He crashed into a roundabout" story before I managed to Actually...she hates cars and is happy with me driving my Almera
Cactussed said:
GTIR said:
I went on a date, actually it was our second, and all was going great until she bumped into some friends in the pub (I'm ok with saying hello, she knows a lot of people) and she introduced me as "This is my boyfriend. I know, amazing at long last!"
Once they left I questioned why she said it but she just got arsey with my "Overeaction"
What else was she going to introduce you as? It's not as though she said fiancee is it?Once they left I questioned why she said it but she just got arsey with my "Overeaction"
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