How do you stop a bird from snoring

[MGZRod]

Good grief, peanuts?

[moanthebairns]

Yes the ready salted kind

[Mazdarese]

Earplugs, man.

[Swilly]

MkGriff said:

Buy some foam earplugs from Boots.

When my wife was pregnant, she made noises that no human should make.

The earplugs worked a treat.

I tried this but couldnt get them to stick in her nostrils

[moanthebairns]

I've wore earplugs before but when they are in all you can hear is yourself breathing, I feel like I'm doing some lunar space mission or wearing breathing apparatus when I wear them

[soad]

Plenty of nookie should do the trick

[5MUG]

snowy slopes said:

Our lass used to do this, the reason she stopped is down to the fact that i told her if she didnt, i would shove her out the bed. She laughed, so, next time she snored, put my feet on her lower back, and shoved her out onto the floor. she doesnt do it now

That's because she left you!

[Maxf]

Neil H said:

I just wake her and ask her to turn over.

I do that as well. When I'm bored of being on top.

[Gareth79]

soad said:

But how comfortable are those? Can't imagine sleeping with ears full of something

I use them a lot when travelling or sharing a room with others, and foam ear plugs are very comfortable, although it will take a night or two to get used to it. The relief of being in total silence far overwhelms any annoyance about the plugs themselves.

It will be cheaper to get them from safety equipment suppliers though, I would definitely recommend the Howard Leight brand, they do several models so look on ebay for single pairs and get a selection to test.

[snowy slopes]

5MUG said:

snowy slopes said:

Our lass used to do this, the reason she stopped is down to the fact that i told her if she didnt, i would shove her out the bed. She laughed, so, next time she snored, put my feet on her lower back, and shoved her out onto the floor. she doesnt do it now

That's because she left you!

Not yet she hasnt, and anyway, it's her folks house, so it would be me that would have to go. Might get some sleep that way i suppose

[ZesPak]

CypherP said:

KrazyIvan said:

Go to sleep before she does!

Or you could as her to see an Ear/Nose/Throat doctor as its likley just a sinus (SP?) infrection.

I don't think visiting Japan has anything to do with a sinus problem.

Punch her in the ovaries.

Amazingly, this site suggests treatments to sinus infrections
http://www.ehow.com/how_5690882_treat-bad-sinus-in...

[Shinobi]

snowy slopes said:

Our lass used to do this, the reason she stopped is down to the fact that i told her if she didnt, i would shove her out the bed. She laughed, so, next time she snored, put my feet on her lower back, and shoved her out onto the floor. she doesnt do it now

You sound like a real catch.

[ZesPak]

Maxf said:

Neil H said:

I just wake her and ask her to turn over.

I do that as well. When I'm bored of being on top.

have a

DrTre said:

Usually made worse by sleeping on ones back, so to make her sleep on her stomach put something uncomfortable in the back of her knickers, like a couple of balls.

you too

[headcase]

My Missus Snores badly, now she sleeps on the couch, i guess she got fed up with a knee in the back every time she did it.

[Kaiser Soze]

Have you looked into anti snoring device(special mouthgard) which pushes her lower jaw forward hence easing the passage of air down?

[Ace-T]

These could possibly help. Less snoring from her, more sleep for you both.

Trace

[snowy slopes]

Shinobi said:

snowy slopes said:

Our lass used to do this, the reason she stopped is down to the fact that i told her if she didnt, i would shove her out the bed. She laughed, so, next time she snored, put my feet on her lower back, and shoved her out onto the floor. she doesnt do it now

You sound like a real catch.

nah, most throw me back as i'm a tiddler. Sorry, that was flippant. To be fair to her, she has more than got her own back on me over the years, saying i heavy breath, and sedning me either next door, or downstairs to sleep on the sofa.

Edited by snowy slopes on Thursday 23 December 15:21

[freecar]

Good gods has nobody anything to say to help this poor soul.

Now, to wake your missus up when she is snoring is simple, it doesn't require peanuts or anything else like that.

First, turn on the telly but mute it instantly so she wont hear it.

Second, put a gentlemans DVD in the DVD player and select a favourite scene.

Third, the danger wk! Now try to pull yourself off next to her while watching the silent porn and watch her wake up instantly!!!

HTH

[karona]

'er indoors does warthog impressions, every night without fail. It's a routine with her, starts off gently, moves on to full blown circular saw ripping up knotty pine, then settles down to a lumpy-idling Deltic diesel, and finally into a contented V12 purr. If I do anything to upset the routine, like kicking her, forcing her to roll on her side, dropping breeze blocks on her head, she just starts the routine all over again.
In-ear 'bud' type earphones and a de-tuned shortwave radio, 'white noise', does the trick for me, once I'm asleep they just fall out.

[5pen]

Before she goes to bed put a few drops of Olbas oil into a cup of recently boiled water. Get her to sit on the end of the bed and lean forward so that her nose is right in the cup and she is inhaling the fumes.

Whilst she is doing this, hack her head of with an axe. The snoring will cease.