Geek Jokes

[WhereamI]

Disco You said:

I can't work out the middle one...

He's in a kind of infinite loop picking up eggs

[Salgar]

WhereamI said:

Disco You said:

I can't work out the middle one...

He's in a kind of infinite loop picking up eggs

while(there) { pickup_eggs(); }

[Morningside]

Salgar said:

WhereamI said:

Disco You said:

I can't work out the middle one...

He's in a kind of infinite loop picking up eggs

while(there) { pickup_eggs(); }

I always loved the old saying:
"The Cray-3 is so fast it can execute an infinite loop in under 2 seconds!"

[WhereamI]

Of course they are all nonsense, after all who's ever heard of a programmer having a wife?

[zac510]

WhereamI said:

He's in a kind of infinite loop picking up eggs

Forgive me for I may have told these in volume 3 of this fine tome but I always thought the joke went:

A progammer's wife asked her husband one Sunday morning "Can you go down the shop for a loaf of bread and if they have eggs, get half a dozen?" Some time later he returned and she asked, shocked, "why did you get 6 loaves of bread?" "They had eggs!" he responded.

and the infinite loop one goes:

Why did the programmer die in the shower? The instructions on his shampoo read "Lather, rinse, repeat."

[ZesPak]

zac510 said:

and the infinite loop one goes:

Why did the programmer die in the shower? The instructions on his shampoo read "Lather, rinse, repeat."

Both work imho, the "while you're there, pick up eggs" makes sense as well.

The einstein one is brilliant .

[Morningside]

[K12beano]

While on the subject of coffee break - and shamelessly pinched from IFLS.....

[xRIEx]

Morningside said:

The version I heard was Energy = Milk Chocolate Square

[Zumbruk]

WhereamI said:

Of course they are all nonsense, after all who's ever heard of a programmer having a wife?

Ahem. [waves]

Well, I was still a programmer when I got married.

[TheHeretic]

Zumbruk said:

Ahem. [waves]

Well, I was still a programmer when I got married.

But now you're just programmed.

[JonRB]

Zumbruk said:

WhereamI said:

Of course they are all nonsense, after all who's ever heard of a programmer having a wife?

Ahem. [waves]

Well, I was still a programmer when I got married.

I'm the only programmer in my team of 6 who isn't married, and that's only because I'm divorced.

Still, can't beat a good cliché and social slur, eh?

[WhereamI]

JonRB said:

Zumbruk said:

WhereamI said:

Of course they are all nonsense, after all who's ever heard of a programmer having a wife?

Ahem. [waves]

Well, I was still a programmer when I got married.

I'm the only programmer in my team of 6 who isn't married, and that's only because I'm divorced.

Still, can't beat a good cliché and social slur, eh?

I employ 28 programmers, 2 are married and another three are in relationships.

[JonRB]

WhereamI said:

I employ 28 programmers, 2 are married and another three are in relationships.

So what?

Also, what business is it even of yours if they are in a relationship or not? Is you being up to date on their social lives a condition of employment or something?

[TheHeretic]

JonRB said:

So what?

Also, what business is it even of yours if they are in a relationship or not? Is you being up to date on their social lives a condition of employment or something?

Huh?

[JonRB]

TheHeretic said:

Huh?

I just think it's odd that an employer concerns themselves whether their employees are in a relationship or not. If a client asked me if I was in a relationship I'd tell them it was none of their fking business.

Anyway, regardless of Whereami trying to "disprove" me, the fact remains that I know at least 10 programmers who are married which rather disproves the statement "who's ever heard of a programmer having a wife?". QED. Let's move on, shall we?

[CommanderJameson]

Whoever heard of a programmer enjoying a mild stereotype for the purposes of a little light amusement in a thread about jokes?

[JonRB]

CommanderJameson said:

Whoever heard of a programmer enjoying a mild stereotype for the purposes of a little light amusement in a thread about jokes?

From someone who gets disproportionately upset if someone shortens his first name in any way, that's lightly amusing.

[CommanderJameson]

JonRB said:

From someone who gets disproportionately upset if someone shortens his first name in any way, that's lightly amusing.

I just like to be referred to by my very common very easy to say and spell but still somewhat magnificent when unadulterated name, which, in the big scheme of things, isn't exactly weird. Or disproportionate.

It's not as if I offered to post my own waste to anyone, officer.

[tribbles]

JonRB said:

CommanderJameson said:

Whoever heard of a programmer enjoying a mild stereotype for the purposes of a little light amusement in a thread about jokes?

From someone who gets disproportionately upset if someone shortens his first name in any way, that's lightly amusing.

Yes, but you know he's mostly harmless