Geek Jokes

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Fer

7,710 posts

280 months

Sunday 4th May 2014
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JonRB said:
Justayellowbadge said:
Do you have a hi-res version of that?

I want a print in A2.
A2, Brute?
Class.

Caruso

7,436 posts

256 months

Sunday 4th May 2014
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Justayellowbadge said:
Do you have a hi-res version of that?

I want a print in A2.
Clever

ajprice

27,483 posts

196 months

Monday 5th May 2014
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MartG

20,678 posts

204 months

Tuesday 6th May 2014
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K12beano

20,854 posts

275 months

Friday 9th May 2014
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leafspring

7,032 posts

137 months

Friday 9th May 2014
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Nicked from the Sean Connery thread...

kowalski655 said:
I just bought a film with 3.142 stars out of 5.
It was a pi rated DVD.

Morningside

24,110 posts

229 months

Saturday 10th May 2014
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LordGrover

33,543 posts

212 months

Saturday 10th May 2014
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Oof!

leafspring

7,032 posts

137 months

Saturday 10th May 2014
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Morningside said:
I've never understood that one paperbag

LordGrover

33,543 posts

212 months

Saturday 10th May 2014
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Really? Google murder of crows.

leafspring

7,032 posts

137 months

Saturday 10th May 2014
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Oh... Okay now I get it biggringetmecoat

K12beano

20,854 posts

275 months

Saturday 10th May 2014
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ChemicalChaos

10,393 posts

160 months

Saturday 10th May 2014
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K12beano said:
Reminds me of this oldie:

The following is allegedly an actual question given in a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their faith, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can reliably project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls,leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!"

(Allegedly this student received the only A.)

boxst

3,716 posts

145 months

Sunday 11th May 2014
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Someone replied to a group internet chat at work:

["hip","hip"]

Any guesses?

(I have to admit I asked them ...)

Salgar

Original Poster:

3,283 posts

184 months

Sunday 11th May 2014
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hip hip array?

boxst

3,716 posts

145 months

Monday 12th May 2014
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Salgar said:
hip hip array?
That is correct. Sad wink

BrassMan

1,484 posts

189 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
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boxst said:
Salgar said:
hip hip array?
That is correct. Sad wink
Nicked for FB and got
x[1][1]="o";
and
R[1] = "hop"

Can someone explain?

Salgar

Original Poster:

3,283 posts

184 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
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This isn't really a joke, but I think it qualifies.

The epoch is ticking over at Tue, 13 May 2014 17:53:20 BST

it's like seeing 1337 on a clock, but only happens every 3.1 years.

date +%s

TheExcession

11,669 posts

250 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
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BrassMan said:
Nicked for FB and got
x[1][1]="o";
and
R[1] = "hop"

Can someone explain?
God knows.

x[0][0]="a";
x[0][1]="e";
x[1][0]="i";
x[1][1]="0";

??? confused

R[1] is described as the next hop in Cisco routing.

Otherwise - I'm utterly clueless!



deckster

9,630 posts

255 months

Tuesday 13th May 2014
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Salgar said:
This isn't really a joke, but I think it qualifies.

The epoch is ticking over at Tue, 13 May 2014 17:53:20 BST

it's like seeing 1337 on a clock, but only happens every 3.1 years.

date +%s
Wooo.

Server said:
[root ~]# date +%s
1399999999
[root ~]# date +%s
1400000000
Do I get a prize?

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