Geek Jokes

[RizzoTheRat]

Some low level geekery from The Poke today

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2014/07/11/cartoon-of-the...

[SwissJonese]

[Snowboy]

marshalla said:

MagicalTrevor said:

And if you could make it:

SELECT *
FROM children
WHERE Upper(status) = 'NICE'
AND Upper(status) = 'NICE';

Just so the 'Nice' kids and 'NICE' kids get presents as well?

Should be sanitising and standardising on iynput.

But what about the 'very naughty' children,
Perhaps it should be;
upper(status) not like '%NAUGHTY%'

How about the 'quite nice' ones.
upper(status) like '%NICE%'


Look, I'm going to need to do a lot more analysis of the source data and review the requiremwnts before I can deal with this project correctly.

[h0b0]

[clonmult]

Snowboy said:

marshalla said:

MagicalTrevor said:

And if you could make it:

SELECT *
FROM children
WHERE Upper(status) = 'NICE'
AND Upper(status) = 'NICE';

Just so the 'Nice' kids and 'NICE' kids get presents as well?

Should be sanitising and standardising on iynput.

But what about the 'very naughty' children,
Perhaps it should be;
upper(status) not like '%NAUGHTY%'

How about the 'quite nice' ones.
upper(status) like '%NICE%'


Look, I'm going to need to do a lot more analysis of the source data and review the requiremwnts before I can deal with this project correctly.

Who in their right mind would store status as a text field?? Need to think of the possible values for status; very good, good, nice, average, a little naughty, naughty, really naughy, downright evil, running for public office. Values enumerated 10 through to whatever, steps of 10. So 40=average. Therefore status > 40 would be quicker and get the full range of "not good" kids.

[MagicalTrevor]

[JonRB]

These are rather brilliant.

http://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/...

[tribbles]

JonRB said:

These are rather brilliant.

http://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/...

Love the Schrödinger one. And the Turing one.

[Snowboy]

clonmult said:

Who in their right mind would store status as a text field?? Need to think of the possible values for status; very good, good, nice, average, a little naughty, naughty, really naughy, downright evil, running for public office. Values enumerated 10 through to whatever, steps of 10. So 40=average. Therefore status > 40 would be quicker and get the full range of "not good" kids.

Not to mention it's a global system; what about 'bon' or 'giocherellona' status.
Also it's been around for years, who knows what the source code looks like and how often it's been upgraded and altered.

[Hooli]

Morningside said:

[Vocal Minority]

Silver Smudger said:

[Morningside]

[Morningside]

Vocal Minority said:

Silver Smudger said:

[Insanity Magnet]

Morningside said:

He's the spit of someone I used to work with (allowing for a few years back to the Ghostbusters era...)

[JonRB]

Insanity Magnet said:

He's the spit of someone I used to work with (allowing for a few years back to the Ghostbusters era...)

Possibly. But its also true

[K12beano]

[SwissJonese]

[K12beano]

[K12beano]

In France, the Apple-ication of alcohol is known as.....


..."Calvados"

[LordGrover]

Not sure this qualifies as genuine geekery, will link only: click