Divorce advice
Discussion
Sometimes both parties will just agree to something reasonable to "make it all go away quickly".
I/we did and it did with no animosity - and we had a house and child to sort out. (Admittedly, I walked away from a LOT of equity, but in the interest of the child's welfare, sanity and the clean break - it's what we did. Against my legal advice, I might add.)
I/we did and it did with no animosity - and we had a house and child to sort out. (Admittedly, I walked away from a LOT of equity, but in the interest of the child's welfare, sanity and the clean break - it's what we did. Against my legal advice, I might add.)
TheFlatSixer said:
Marital debts are joint, ensure she pays her share - she would not be so willing to walk if the house was in positive equity!
You need a sol to ensure no future comebacks, there is no such thing as an amicable agreement, courts won't recognise it when she later claims half your long built equity/pay rise/windfall/new partner's earnings.
A stitch in time saves nine, my friend.
Nobody needs a solicitor.You need a sol to ensure no future comebacks, there is no such thing as an amicable agreement, courts won't recognise it when she later claims half your long built equity/pay rise/windfall/new partner's earnings.
A stitch in time saves nine, my friend.
You need a watertight clean break agreement, I believe in my case it was part of the divorce petition. You may be well advised to take your specific requirements to a solicitor to get an agreement drawn up, at which point your ex should also seek legal advice. However in my case we rapidly spiralled into animosity until we ditched the solicitors and sorted it out for ourselves using a couple of good books on the subject (in the absence of children or ongoing commitments it's remarkably straightforward).
The solicitors we both met, a bit like PH, were very good at telling us what we were entitled to, and very poor at accepting that we've sorted it out and just want this over & done with so we could move on with our lives. I did use a solicitor for watertight transfer of the flat & mortgage into my name, but that was a specific agreed transaction.
For the record my ex didn't turn into a green eyed monster, although she started heading that way the moment the solicitors were involved.
Like the OP we had no money, and on balance no assets either. I funded the last 6 months of her degree, she walked away with 1 (cheap) car, 1 (expensive) sleeping bag and 1 PC, I walked away with 2 cars, 1 flat, and debts to match.
Glad this topic has come up as I am going through the same. Your help here would be appreciated. We are doing the divorce ourselves and everything is amicable. We have split the equity in the house and we both want this cleared up asap. My Nisi is going through tomorrow and as I understand it from the research i have done I am completing a consent order. what is the difference with this compared to a clean break agreement and am I doing the correct thing.
amorgan said:
Glad this topic has come up as I am going through the same. Your help here would be appreciated. We are doing the divorce ourselves and everything is amicable. We have split the equity in the house and we both want this cleared up asap. My Nisi is going through tomorrow and as I understand it from the research i have done I am completing a consent order. what is the difference with this compared to a clean break agreement and am I doing the correct thing.
Not sure on the consent order, but the clean break will ensure that once you have parted ways, this is permanent and anything (money, property, etc) that you come in to in the future can NOT be split to her in any way.I am using a solicitor off the wikivorce website - loads of advice on there. So far no problems. Everything's agreed, already live apart, no kids, finances all sorted out. Divorce and clean break agreement (consent order) total cost about £700 including the court fee which is about £350 I think. Best of luck.
Mr Trophy said:
I find it incredible that people have only paid a couple of hundred quid to get divorced. Mum and Dad are currently in the middle of divorcing just now. My Mum has paid over 65K (so far) in legal costs 
It's all about whether you are arguing or in agreement. The only winners in an argument are solicitors. I saw a solicitor at the start who told me I was entitled to a 60/40 split of the equity in our house. Arguing over it would have cost at least £10k if it got as far as court. I was happy with 50/50 and getting out of there for a fresh start and no massive legal bill! A friend at work has racked up 10k so far, was at court last week and STILL hasn't got it resolved.........james_tigerwoods said:
Christ! Mine cost about £400 - What, how, who the frick... ??
My thoughts. Without going to much into it on a public forum, my Mum owns a very successful business and my Dad want's a piece of that pie. He also took me (his own son) to court last month because he "thought" my Mum was giving me thousands of pounds each month. He thought she and I had planned this divorce years ago. That never happened, nor would I have let it happen.So, business valuations, 6 different court hearings, commissioners hearings, solicitors fees, banks, advocates, etc etc. It all adds up - it's not even reached court yet. So probably add another 30+ onto that already big bill.
Mr Trophy said:
james_tigerwoods said:
Christ! Mine cost about £400 - What, how, who the frick... ??
My thoughts. Without going to much into it on a public forum, my Mum owns a very successful business and my Dad want's a piece of that pie. He also took me (his own son) to court last month because he "thought" my Mum was giving me thousands of pounds each month. He thought she and I had planned this divorce years ago. That never happened, nor would I have let it happen.So, business valuations, 6 different court hearings, commissioners hearings, solicitors fees, banks, advocates, etc etc. It all adds up - it's not even reached court yet. So probably add another 30+ onto that already big bill.
Mr Trophy said:
My thoughts. Without going to much into it on a public forum, my Mum owns a very successful business and my Dad want's a piece of that pie. He also took me (his own son) to court last month because he "thought" my Mum was giving me thousands of pounds each month. He thought she and I had planned this divorce years ago. That never happened, nor would I have let it happen.
So, business valuations, 6 different court hearings, commissioners hearings, solicitors fees, banks, advocates, etc etc. It all adds up - it's not even reached court yet. So probably add another 30+ onto that already big bill.
fSo, business valuations, 6 different court hearings, commissioners hearings, solicitors fees, banks, advocates, etc etc. It all adds up - it's not even reached court yet. So probably add another 30+ onto that already big bill.
k!!! Sorry to hear about this mate. Stay strong, hope you're ok.
Three things:
- the court fee is £340; you may get some sort of reduction (which is paid back to you afterwards from what I can tell) depending on earnings.
- you can do the forms yourself; have a look at the Court Service website and download them. Do check the notes for each panel; there are prescribed words required in some of them.
- if you are both jointly on the deeds to the property, you will both be jointly liable for the mortgage. So no matter what you agree, you need the mortgagee to release her otherwise she stays on the title. If there's no equity they may be unwilling to release her. A solicitor won't be able to sort this out any more than you can yourself; they can't create money from nowhere to pay off the mortgage. So speak to the mortgagee and see if they'll agree to this.
- the court fee is £340; you may get some sort of reduction (which is paid back to you afterwards from what I can tell) depending on earnings.
- you can do the forms yourself; have a look at the Court Service website and download them. Do check the notes for each panel; there are prescribed words required in some of them.
- if you are both jointly on the deeds to the property, you will both be jointly liable for the mortgage. So no matter what you agree, you need the mortgagee to release her otherwise she stays on the title. If there's no equity they may be unwilling to release her. A solicitor won't be able to sort this out any more than you can yourself; they can't create money from nowhere to pay off the mortgage. So speak to the mortgagee and see if they'll agree to this.
We are in a similar situation but with kids. We separated over 2 years ago but are pretty much in the same house still, due to financial reasons and looking after the children. Well I'm in the house full time and she stays 3/4 nights a week, separate rooms.
I suppose there is no way to prove that we have been separated over 2 years?
I suppose there is no way to prove that we have been separated over 2 years?
croyde said:
We are in a similar situation but with kids. We separated over 2 years ago but are pretty much in the same house still, due to financial reasons and looking after the children. Well I'm in the house full time and she stays 3/4 nights a week, separate rooms.
I suppose there is no way to prove that we have been separated over 2 years?
Actually you CAN divorce on two years separation. I lived (if you can call it that) in the same house as my ex for 2 and a half years as we couldn't sell our house. We had nothing to do with each other. It was like living in a student house - separate shopping, washing, different shelves in the fridge and separate rooms. I more or less lived in my bedroom and our paths barely crossed. It was a nightmare until he eventually bought me out and I moved only a few months ago. We have to sign an avidavit to say that we have had separate lives all that time but ARE able to divorce on those grounds. We don't have kids though - not sure if that makes any odds but clearly a lot of people will be in the same boat where they simply cannot afford to walk out as I couldn't. I suppose there is no way to prove that we have been separated over 2 years?
croyde said:
We are in a similar situation but with kids. We separated over 2 years ago but are pretty much in the same house still, due to financial reasons and looking after the children. Well I'm in the house full time and she stays 3/4 nights a week, separate rooms.
I suppose there is no way to prove that we have been separated over 2 years?
If you agree that you have been separated, then you can simply state that you have been. The court will accept that financially it's sometimes not possible to move out of the same house. However, you may be best to take proper advice from a solicitor on exactly what to put in the petition and affidavit.I suppose there is no way to prove that we have been separated over 2 years?
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