365 days without booze... join me?
Discussion
mooseracer said:
Am I understanding it correctly that you can - and do - go reasonable periods of time not drinking to excess but then when you do pickup a drink you (to coin a phrase) don't have a stop button?
Yes and no. I can - and do - go a good few days without anything when I'm on a health kick (tbf often this is in response to having had a binge!) then have what I'd describe as 'sensible' drinks Friday/Saturday; maybe 1 bottle of wine and a beer over a few hours in the evening. Then back to nothing.But every now and then I'll have a big sesh, fall asleep then wake up at 6am with half a bottle sitting there and instead of doing what a 'normal' person would do I'll finish it off - and as I'm topping up I'll be fairly tipsy. If at the end of that I'm wide awake I'll probably crack another open. If there's none and the compulsion is strong enough I'll be 'that guy' in the 24hr shop at 7am buying another bottle. This can last 1 day or 7 days. Once I'm off on the binge I tend to keep at it for a bit if I have no commitments that need me to drive or otherwise be sober. It's unpredictable when I'll do that, other than work being quiet.
So I guess the answer is that yes I do have a stop button.... usually. But every now and then I don't lose it, I don't even care to find it...
othername said:
Is there really any need for that? I've come here asking for advice because I want to get better and the one thing you pick out from that comment was to make a sarky remark that I should drink more to fit in with folks who seem to have worse problems than myself? I always thought this was one of those PH posts immune to this kind of thing as almost everyone seems supportive and understanding 
Steady on. I understand that your current state of mind might be powering your response here but no ill will here from Sebo. I’ve been where you are, I couldn’t stop until I was told I had to or it’s the end. This was my rock bottom.
Speak to your GP and be 100% up front. I couldn’t do this as I’m too strong (not strong at all) and it almost killed me.
I will point out that advising someone who is at the stage you are at to still drinkmight seem counter productive and depending on your coping mechanisms this will allow you the breathing space you need
In the end I had to white knuckle cold turkey it. I had to do this on the liver ward SURROUNDED by people I knew wouldn’t t last the week. And they didn’t.
Where I think Sebo was trying to position his response if that by continuing to drink it might give you the head space to think and plan. Call it tapering, call it gradual withdrawal. Whatever.
Good luck mate, one day, minute, second at a time.
People ask me all the time how long I’ve been sober and outside of a few the answer is only “for the moment”. Answering with 4.5 years often adds to a persons issues as they can’t possibly see that. I’m active on another platform and the phase “play it forward” is common. I’m not sure if that’s an AA thing or not.
Davie_GLA said:
Steady on. I understand that your current state of mind might be powering your response here but no ill will here from Sebo.
I’ve been where you are, I couldn’t stop until I was told I had to or it’s the end. This was my rock bottom.
Speak to your GP and be 100% up front. I couldn’t do this as I’m too strong (not strong at all) and it almost killed me.
I will point out that advising someone who is at the stage you are at to still drinkmight seem counter productive and depending on your coping mechanisms this will allow you the breathing space you need
In the end I had to white knuckle cold turkey it. I had to do this on the liver ward SURROUNDED by people I knew wouldn’t t last the week. And they didn’t.
Where I think Sebo was trying to position his response if that by continuing to drink it might give you the head space to think and plan. Call it tapering, call it gradual withdrawal. Whatever.
Good luck mate, one day, minute, second at a time.
People ask me all the time how long I’ve been sober and outside of a few the answer is only “for the moment”. Answering with 4.5 years often adds to a persons issues as they can’t possibly see that. I’m active on another platform and the phase “play it forward” is common. I’m not sure if that’s an AA thing or not.
I haven't had a drink since Saturday. I'm a classic binge drinker. Sebos comment was ill judged and comes off as sarcastic. He accused me of writing BS, which I called him out on and asked him to point out what was BS.... he hasn't responded to this, hmmm I’ve been where you are, I couldn’t stop until I was told I had to or it’s the end. This was my rock bottom.
Speak to your GP and be 100% up front. I couldn’t do this as I’m too strong (not strong at all) and it almost killed me.
I will point out that advising someone who is at the stage you are at to still drinkmight seem counter productive and depending on your coping mechanisms this will allow you the breathing space you need
In the end I had to white knuckle cold turkey it. I had to do this on the liver ward SURROUNDED by people I knew wouldn’t t last the week. And they didn’t.
Where I think Sebo was trying to position his response if that by continuing to drink it might give you the head space to think and plan. Call it tapering, call it gradual withdrawal. Whatever.
Good luck mate, one day, minute, second at a time.
People ask me all the time how long I’ve been sober and outside of a few the answer is only “for the moment”. Answering with 4.5 years often adds to a persons issues as they can’t possibly see that. I’m active on another platform and the phase “play it forward” is common. I’m not sure if that’s an AA thing or not.
Sitting here now with a perfectly clear head I stand (sit 
) by my response, his post was unnecessary. Nothing I wrote was BS, so excuse me for not accepting it when someone accused me of that...Today marks 365 days without drinking. I'm 30.
Started with 30 days, then 60 days and then thought I'll stop for 3 months and see how I get on.
Haven't drank any of the 0.0% beers or other offerings, but I think now I will try some, interested to try the Guinness 0%
I've found lime & soda to be my go-to drink of choice when out, costs very little and tastes good.
Have a couple of Stag Dos coming up in the next few months, and weddings to follow in summer, a few friends have commented that it's strange that I won't drink with the groom but I'm comfortable enough to drink what I choose.
Started with 30 days, then 60 days and then thought I'll stop for 3 months and see how I get on.
Haven't drank any of the 0.0% beers or other offerings, but I think now I will try some, interested to try the Guinness 0%
I've found lime & soda to be my go-to drink of choice when out, costs very little and tastes good.
Have a couple of Stag Dos coming up in the next few months, and weddings to follow in summer, a few friends have commented that it's strange that I won't drink with the groom but I'm comfortable enough to drink what I choose.
Edited by Percy. on Friday 9th February 09:07
othername said:
Yes and no. I can - and do - go a good few days without anything when I'm on a health kick (tbf often this is in response to having had a binge!) then have what I'd describe as 'sensible' drinks Friday/Saturday; maybe 1 bottle of wine and a beer over a few hours in the evening. Then back to nothing.
But every now and then I'll have a big sesh, fall asleep then wake up at 6am with half a bottle sitting there and instead of doing what a 'normal' person would do I'll finish it off - and as I'm topping up I'll be fairly tipsy. If at the end of that I'm wide awake I'll probably crack another open. If there's none and the compulsion is strong enough I'll be 'that guy' in the 24hr shop at 7am buying another bottle. This can last 1 day or 7 days. Once I'm off on the binge I tend to keep at it for a bit if I have no commitments that need me to drive or otherwise be sober. It's unpredictable when I'll do that, other than work being quiet.
So I guess the answer is that yes I do have a stop button.... usually. But every now and then I don't lose it, I don't even care to find it...
In a weird way I can imagine that could be more difficult to tackle than, for instance me, where it was a daily thing - albeit with peaks and troughs. As such I can't offer any pearls of wisdom other than to say if it is bothering you then do keep looking for the lever that works.But every now and then I'll have a big sesh, fall asleep then wake up at 6am with half a bottle sitting there and instead of doing what a 'normal' person would do I'll finish it off - and as I'm topping up I'll be fairly tipsy. If at the end of that I'm wide awake I'll probably crack another open. If there's none and the compulsion is strong enough I'll be 'that guy' in the 24hr shop at 7am buying another bottle. This can last 1 day or 7 days. Once I'm off on the binge I tend to keep at it for a bit if I have no commitments that need me to drive or otherwise be sober. It's unpredictable when I'll do that, other than work being quiet.
So I guess the answer is that yes I do have a stop button.... usually. But every now and then I don't lose it, I don't even care to find it...
The wake up and finish the bottle thing made me chuckle - many is the time I have walked the dog at 7 in the morning, freshly half cut from doing exatly the same!
Fullook said:
Drew106 said:
January was a bit of a pivotal life changing month for me. My wife had a serious accident mid-month, with unexpected complications which has left her in hospital ever since. Leaving me the sole parent (for a yet undetermined period of time) to our 19 month old son. It came out of nowhere and hit me like a fecking brick to the face.
Truly sorry to hear that - sounds horrible for your wife and for you. Sounds like you're responding well to the challenge though - good luck and keep doing the right things!Single parenting a toddler has been the hardest thing I've done. Coupled with missing my wife, mourning my old life, falling behind on household chores, uncertain future... Trying to remain calm for my son. It's changing me as a person for sure.
The complications were neurological, so I'm not even sure I'll have the same wife after all this.
A big thing to come out of this for me is gratitude, weirdly. I've been meditating for years now and trying to incorporate gratitude and stoic reasoning into my life. It's not that it makes these things easy, you can't remove your emotions, but it can alleviate the "second arrow" suffering of thinking 'why me', 'it's unfair', etc. This suffering is constructed in the mind and is unnecessary if only we can remember this realisation in the tough times.
To be born in a peaceful country, not in poverty, with your health, is to win the lottery of life. So many things could be worse. "Losing" something is actually a brilliant way to remind oneself of all the things in life we take for granted.
I haven't washed my car in over 5 weeks. I don't think it's ever been so dirty lol. Just being able to stick on a podcast or audiobook and wash and tinker with cars all weekend would be bliss. Maybe the next time I get to do this, I just might appreciate it a little more.
....On a side note, back on topic. I was drinking the NA Guinness in Jan, lovely stuff. I had a 'proper' Guinness (well a can, so maybe not a proper proper Guinness) and I think I might prefer the NA!
Drew106 said:
Cheers mate. I guess it's like sobriety, just taking things one day at a time. One meal at a time. One nursey drop off etc. etc.
Single parenting a toddler has been the hardest thing I've done. Coupled with missing my wife, mourning my old life, falling behind on household chores, uncertain future... Trying to remain calm for my son. It's changing me as a person for sure.
The complications were neurological, so I'm not even sure I'll have the same wife after all this.
A big thing to come out of this for me is gratitude, weirdly. I've been meditating for years now and trying to incorporate gratitude and stoic reasoning into my life. It's not that it makes these things easy, you can't remove your emotions, but it can alleviate the "second arrow" suffering of thinking 'why me', 'it's unfair', etc. This suffering is constructed in the mind and is unnecessary if only we can remember this realisation in the tough times.
To be born in a peaceful country, not in poverty, with your health, is to win the lottery of life. So many things could be worse. "Losing" something is actually a brilliant way to remind oneself of all the things in life we take for granted.
I haven't washed my car in over 5 weeks. I don't think it's ever been so dirty lol. Just being able to stick on a podcast or audiobook and wash and tinker with cars all weekend would be bliss. Maybe the next time I get to do this, I just might appreciate it a little more.
....On a side note, back on topic. I was drinking the NA Guinness in Jan, lovely stuff. I had a 'proper' Guinness (well a can, so maybe not a proper proper Guinness) and I think I might prefer the NA!
Your post resonated with me. Single parenting a toddler has been the hardest thing I've done. Coupled with missing my wife, mourning my old life, falling behind on household chores, uncertain future... Trying to remain calm for my son. It's changing me as a person for sure.
The complications were neurological, so I'm not even sure I'll have the same wife after all this.
A big thing to come out of this for me is gratitude, weirdly. I've been meditating for years now and trying to incorporate gratitude and stoic reasoning into my life. It's not that it makes these things easy, you can't remove your emotions, but it can alleviate the "second arrow" suffering of thinking 'why me', 'it's unfair', etc. This suffering is constructed in the mind and is unnecessary if only we can remember this realisation in the tough times.
To be born in a peaceful country, not in poverty, with your health, is to win the lottery of life. So many things could be worse. "Losing" something is actually a brilliant way to remind oneself of all the things in life we take for granted.
I haven't washed my car in over 5 weeks. I don't think it's ever been so dirty lol. Just being able to stick on a podcast or audiobook and wash and tinker with cars all weekend would be bliss. Maybe the next time I get to do this, I just might appreciate it a little more.
....On a side note, back on topic. I was drinking the NA Guinness in Jan, lovely stuff. I had a 'proper' Guinness (well a can, so maybe not a proper proper Guinness) and I think I might prefer the NA!
Part of my daily, morning routine is reading from a book of Stoic meditations.
Today's read:
'It is in our power to have no opinion about a thing, and not to be disturbed in our soul; for things themselves have no natural power to form our judgments.'
Marcus Aurelius.
I wish your wife a speedy recovery.
All of a sudden, I'm struggling!
Brief summary - went 7 years dry thanks to this thread, then 3 years drinking. Dry again since Jan 1st this year.
I'd done well not even thinking about beer. However, I've just had a delivery of a crate of craft beers! It was a very late final delivery from a 3 month can subscription club which should have arrived in December. I had totally forgotten about it! I've made the mistake of opening the box and having a look at the cans they have sent. My cravings are super high right now.
I've jumped in the car and picked up some AF beers to try and scratch the itch;
(This Elvis AF is rough as hell by the way. Watery nonsense. Don't buy!)
I'm 50:50 at the moment as to whether I'll still be on my dry streak come Monday.
Brief summary - went 7 years dry thanks to this thread, then 3 years drinking. Dry again since Jan 1st this year.
I'd done well not even thinking about beer. However, I've just had a delivery of a crate of craft beers! It was a very late final delivery from a 3 month can subscription club which should have arrived in December. I had totally forgotten about it! I've made the mistake of opening the box and having a look at the cans they have sent. My cravings are super high right now.
I've jumped in the car and picked up some AF beers to try and scratch the itch;
(This Elvis AF is rough as hell by the way. Watery nonsense. Don't buy!)
I'm 50:50 at the moment as to whether I'll still be on my dry streak come Monday.
It's amazing how much stigma is still involved in not drinking. We went out the other day for lunch at a restaurant in London, a place that really should know better than to behave like this. The maitre'd looked at me like I had shat on his head when I said I didn't drink. And then another waiter made comment too.
thebraketester said:
It's amazing how much stigma is still involved in not drinking. We went out the other day for lunch at a restaurant in London, a place that really should know better than to behave like this. The maitre'd looked at me like I had shat on his head when I said I didn't drink. And then another waiter made comment too.
I’d suggest it’s probably the anticipated effect on your bill (and therefore the corresponding tip) if you’re not having £30+ bottles of wine with your meal…As my intention is not to be teetotal, I'm making the deliberate and calculated decision to briefly alight the 'wagon' tomorrow (Saturday) night.
That'll be nearly 50 days without a drink and with little exception where some situations have triggered me a little I'm fortunate that I found the last 7 weeks or so relatively painless even through a particularly stressful couple of weeks with work. I'm also very happy with the health and physical benefits so I won't be turning my back on that willingly.
My intention is to moderate my consumption and not get absolutely ring-bolted so, I'll report back when I see you on the other side.
That'll be nearly 50 days without a drink and with little exception where some situations have triggered me a little I'm fortunate that I found the last 7 weeks or so relatively painless even through a particularly stressful couple of weeks with work. I'm also very happy with the health and physical benefits so I won't be turning my back on that willingly.
My intention is to moderate my consumption and not get absolutely ring-bolted so, I'll report back when I see you on the other side.
Edited by Big Rod on Friday 16th February 09:38
thebraketester said:
It's amazing how much stigma is still involved in not drinking. We went out the other day for lunch at a restaurant in London, a place that really should know better than to behave like this. The maitre'd looked at me like I had shat on his head when I said I didn't drink. And then another waiter made comment too.
Out of interest, what did you say?"No alcohol for me, I don't drink" or something like "Just water/soft drink for me" without specific mention that you don't drink alcohol.
Big Rod said:
As my intention is not to be teetotal
That'll be nearly 50 days without a drink
My intention is to moderate my consumption and not get absolutely ring-bolted so, I'll report back when I see you on the other side.
Good job on 50 days! I've done similar in the past and at the moment I am 138 days without drinking. No idea if I will ever start again (probably will) but just happy with sobriety now.That'll be nearly 50 days without a drink
My intention is to moderate my consumption and not get absolutely ring-bolted so, I'll report back when I see you on the other side.
My friend is similar to you and he plans specifically whether to drink or not. E.g. rather than a "what a rubbish day, I'll have wine", it's more "I'm out next week for a birthday, I will plan to drink then".
thebraketester said:
It's amazing how much stigma is still involved in not drinking. We went out the other day for lunch at a restaurant in London, a place that really should know better than to behave like this. The maitre'd looked at me like I had shat on his head when I said I didn't drink. And then another waiter made comment too.
This really annoys me. In my view it's really rude and unnecessary. Some people may not drink for religious reasons, medical, health or just because they don't want to. g3org3y said:
thebraketester said:
It's amazing how much stigma is still involved in not drinking. We went out the other day for lunch at a restaurant in London, a place that really should know better than to behave like this. The maitre'd looked at me like I had shat on his head when I said I didn't drink. And then another waiter made comment too.
Out of interest, what did you say?"No alcohol for me, I don't drink" or something like "Just water/soft drink for me" without specific mention that you don't drink alcohol.
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