365 days without booze... join me?
Discussion
Yeah, they decided to rescind the part that would've let me keep working remotely and I didn't want to move to Brighton. Probably for the best, they've made about 20 people redundant and they're all leaving over the next 6 weeks. Place is going to be miserable until they've filled all the gaps.
It's fine, I've got a decent settlement so I'm going to take my time and figure out what I want to do next. Just having to actually engage with the process is getting me down.
It's fine, I've got a decent settlement so I'm going to take my time and figure out what I want to do next. Just having to actually engage with the process is getting me down.
ZedLeg said:
Yeah, they decided to rescind the part that would've let me keep working remotely and I didn't want to move to Brighton. Probably for the best, they've made about 20 people redundant and they're all leaving over the next 6 weeks. Place is going to be miserable until they've filled all the gaps.
It's fine, I've got a decent settlement so I'm going to take my time and figure out what I want to do next. Just having to actually engage with the process is getting me down.
Good luck to you. Don't waste any of that money on booze. It's fine, I've got a decent settlement so I'm going to take my time and figure out what I want to do next. Just having to actually engage with the process is getting me down.
No alcohol for one week tonight. Feel alright but the evening's gone slow. Every time I drink alcohol recently it sets off an alcoholic gastritis attack which presents as a burning sensation / dull ache in the duodenum. It abates with abstinence so it's definitely the alcohol - a forced cessation for the time being
Checking in. Today marks 1702 days off the booze. Annoyed I missed the 1700 but I guess if that’s all I have to get annoyed about then it’s acceptable!
I’ve mentioned once or twice a subreddit that, along with this place, helped me immensely. It’s just about to tick over to 500k users globally and I reckon it’s done wonders for anyone who has been toying with the idea of packing it in or reducing.
For anyone that uses Reddit, the sub is simply r/stopdrinking. Mods if this breaks any rules then feel free to nuke but it continues to be a valuable resource to many.
I’ve mentioned once or twice a subreddit that, along with this place, helped me immensely. It’s just about to tick over to 500k users globally and I reckon it’s done wonders for anyone who has been toying with the idea of packing it in or reducing.
For anyone that uses Reddit, the sub is simply r/stopdrinking. Mods if this breaks any rules then feel free to nuke but it continues to be a valuable resource to many.
Regenesis said:
Regenesis said:
Happy New Year everyone.
I don’t normally do this sort of thing (baring one’s soul type stuff) but wanted to put something down so there was some sort of record I could follow or look back on.
I’m mid fifties, married, a parent, very moderately successful (average earnings (that’s real average earnings, not PH bs averages) and a mortgagee). Not very fit but enough to get by in normal life. I’ve never been a happy person. Never had any confidence. Have never really liked who I am. In truth I’ve never had any drive or ambition or much in the way of self esteem. I came to terms with who I was as a teenager and just muddled through - or at least that’s what I’ve been saying to myself for thirty odd years!
I drink every day and have done since I was in my late teens. Genuinely cannot recall a single day off in that time. The drinking is mostly in secret, which is a little pathetic but there we are. In the order of 12-16 units a day. All at home. Being a genuinely average earner and living in London I’ve never had the money for drinking out. So I can’t blame the drinking on socialising!
I’ve had enough and want to stop. I don’t want the kids to lose their Dad - either to poor health or from a potential breakdown in their parents’ relationship.
I actually have stopped. Last drink was on December the 29th. Nothing since. In truth I’ve not particularly wanted one since. Which confuses me. Hopefully I can just keep carrying that forward.
Thanks for listening.
As you were.
Well that’s a week successfully navigated with very little drama. Let’s hope things continue in the same manner.I don’t normally do this sort of thing (baring one’s soul type stuff) but wanted to put something down so there was some sort of record I could follow or look back on.
I’m mid fifties, married, a parent, very moderately successful (average earnings (that’s real average earnings, not PH bs averages) and a mortgagee). Not very fit but enough to get by in normal life. I’ve never been a happy person. Never had any confidence. Have never really liked who I am. In truth I’ve never had any drive or ambition or much in the way of self esteem. I came to terms with who I was as a teenager and just muddled through - or at least that’s what I’ve been saying to myself for thirty odd years!
I drink every day and have done since I was in my late teens. Genuinely cannot recall a single day off in that time. The drinking is mostly in secret, which is a little pathetic but there we are. In the order of 12-16 units a day. All at home. Being a genuinely average earner and living in London I’ve never had the money for drinking out. So I can’t blame the drinking on socialising!
I’ve had enough and want to stop. I don’t want the kids to lose their Dad - either to poor health or from a potential breakdown in their parents’ relationship.
I actually have stopped. Last drink was on December the 29th. Nothing since. In truth I’ve not particularly wanted one since. Which confuses me. Hopefully I can just keep carrying that forward.
Thanks for listening.
As you were.
I’m two months or so into the endeavour. I’m not sure I have much else to contribute particularly but fwiw I’m just plugging on every day trying not to overthink things too much. I haven’t found abstinence remarkably hard, for which I am grateful, and while I kid myself I don’t feel any different it’s hard to know and I’m sure I am healthier really. It just doesn’t manifest itself to me.
The wife noticed I wasn’t having the odd beer of an evening, so I confessed I was trying to cut back. Seemed better not to overcommit.
Anyway, it’s not all about me!
Carry on.
swanseaboydan said:
Just done 5 months sober - couldn’t be happier - I do have the occasional urge but I would like to think that I am never going back
Well done!Having a passing thought or two early doors is perfectly normal. As you now knows, those thoughts always pass.
They don't control you at all.
swanseaboydan said:
Just done 5 months sober - couldn’t be happier - I do have the occasional urge but I would like to think that I am never going back
I made that mistake years back. I'd done my usual "stop drinking for a month in summer to prove to myself I didn't need it", it carried on for 4-5 months. Then I finished a particularly difficult DIY project and decided I'd earned it. Within weeks I went back to drinking more than I thought I should and felt very annoyed at myself.Edited by donkmeister on Sunday 3rd March 16:01
ZedLeg said:
Good stuff Rod, I've been thinking about whether I would be able to manage going out and having a couple of pints.
I'm currently in the process of being made redundant though, so I'm pretty sure it's my brain trying to gaslight me into some good old fashioned depression drinking
Very self-aware, that's a good thing!!!I'm currently in the process of being made redundant though, so I'm pretty sure it's my brain trying to gaslight me into some good old fashioned depression drinking
It's a slippery slope. We're currently going through some big life stresses here and a few times I've thought about how a good soak in liquid anti-depressant used to be a way of coping. I very quickly remind myself that it never solved anything, just made me feel tired and grumpy the next day!
Managed somewhat quite easily to moderate my intake on nights (and days) out which for me is quite an achievement. I was always chasing the next drink, even at 1am after 10 pints. I'm now quite content having a few beers and heading home.
However another issue is what 4-5 pints can do to sleep. 5 pints would maybe just get me at the "tipsy" stage so nowhere near drunk, but completely mess's with the sleep for 2-3 nights. That inturn ****s the diet, exercise, cooking, uni etc etc. Can't be bothered with any good stuff in but crave the bad stuff, mostly sugar, crisps and doom scrolling on social media while half asleep on the couch. All because of 5 Guinness!!
Anyway, now time to add some completely dry socialising into the mix, started with last night's Sunday roast carrying onto the weekend for mother's day and the football and beyond...
However another issue is what 4-5 pints can do to sleep. 5 pints would maybe just get me at the "tipsy" stage so nowhere near drunk, but completely mess's with the sleep for 2-3 nights. That inturn ****s the diet, exercise, cooking, uni etc etc. Can't be bothered with any good stuff in but crave the bad stuff, mostly sugar, crisps and doom scrolling on social media while half asleep on the couch. All because of 5 Guinness!!
Anyway, now time to add some completely dry socialising into the mix, started with last night's Sunday roast carrying onto the weekend for mother's day and the football and beyond...
donkmeister said:
ZedLeg said:
Good stuff Rod, I've been thinking about whether I would be able to manage going out and having a couple of pints.
I'm currently in the process of being made redundant though, so I'm pretty sure it's my brain trying to gaslight me into some good old fashioned depression drinking
Very self-aware, that's a good thing!!!I'm currently in the process of being made redundant though, so I'm pretty sure it's my brain trying to gaslight me into some good old fashioned depression drinking
ZedLeg said:
I'm very good at justifying bad behaviour so I have to be tough on myself
Aye, ain't that the truth.
I'm pleased to report that after my last couple of weekend's planned dalliances I spent the weekend sober despite having a very difficult week work wise.
I did have urges but they passed and was able to pick up my Wife and Daughter from the train station late on Saturday night which also saved on a taxi fare, (although I did have to put £40 of motion lotion in my Wife's car 'cos it was all but empty!), which was nice. Also the desire to attend the gym on Saturday morning was a distinct deterrent to 'taking the edge off' on Friday night.
I discovered 'St Peter's Without' in Tesco which is a delicious malty Suffolk 0.0% beer. It goes down really nice.
I am still a little weirded out by driving while having the taste of beer in my mouth and must be mindful in future if I do indulge.
Bit of a fail for me here, went out to stay with friends at the weekend and ended up having some sparkling wine and some red. I'd done well with AF beers in the pub beforehand but the glasses had been poured and I didn't want to say no. I then had two unnecessary beers with my tea the following day just because they were in the fridge.
Annoying! Ah well, that was the end of a 33-day streak and I feel much better so on to the next one!
Annoying! Ah well, that was the end of a 33-day streak and I feel much better so on to the next one!
dirtbiker said:
Bit of a fail for me here, went out to stay with friends at the weekend and ended up having some sparkling wine and some red. I'd done well with AF beers in the pub beforehand but the glasses had been poured and I didn't want to say no. I then had two unnecessary beers with my tea the following day just because they were in the fridge.
Annoying! Ah well, that was the end of a 33-day streak and I feel much better so on to the next one!
It's never a complete fail.Annoying! Ah well, that was the end of a 33-day streak and I feel much better so on to the next one!
You will have learnt one or two things about your processes around alcohol and abstinence. This will certainly help you in your future efforts.
Blib said:
dirtbiker said:
Bit of a fail for me here, went out to stay with friends at the weekend and ended up having some sparkling wine and some red. I'd done well with AF beers in the pub beforehand but the glasses had been poured and I didn't want to say no. I then had two unnecessary beers with my tea the following day just because they were in the fridge.
Annoying! Ah well, that was the end of a 33-day streak and I feel much better so on to the next one!
It's never a complete fail.Annoying! Ah well, that was the end of a 33-day streak and I feel much better so on to the next one!
You will have learnt one or two things about your processes around alcohol and abstinence. This will certainly help you in your future efforts.
Also, dirtbiker I would say you should never feel compelled to drink a drink someone has poured. Sometimes people do it because they simply don't know you are giving it a miss, sometimes because they think it's polite to give you the choice. I'm guilty of offering cake to people I know are dieting, which is akin to that second one.
The people who need to be watched are those who want to make you drink. I've heard horror stories of recovering alcoholics relapsing after some cretin serves them an alcoholic drink whilst telling them it's not.
donkmeister said:
Blib said:
dirtbiker said:
Bit of a fail for me here, went out to stay with friends at the weekend and ended up having some sparkling wine and some red. I'd done well with AF beers in the pub beforehand but the glasses had been poured and I didn't want to say no. I then had two unnecessary beers with my tea the following day just because they were in the fridge.
Annoying! Ah well, that was the end of a 33-day streak and I feel much better so on to the next one!
It's never a complete fail.Annoying! Ah well, that was the end of a 33-day streak and I feel much better so on to the next one!
You will have learnt one or two things about your processes around alcohol and abstinence. This will certainly help you in your future efforts.
Also, dirtbiker I would say you should never feel compelled to drink a drink someone has poured. Sometimes people do it because they simply don't know you are giving it a miss, sometimes because they think it's polite to give you the choice. I'm guilty of offering cake to people I know are dieting, which is akin to that second one.
The people who need to be watched are those who want to make you drink. I've heard horror stories of recovering alcoholics relapsing after some cretin serves them an alcoholic drink whilst telling them it's not.
For various reasons I didn’t do dry January, which is pretty much routine for us, and instead Mrs B and I are doing dry March.
I have to say so far it’s been a breeze. The main difference: nobody talks about dry January so booze isn’t as much a topic of conversation!
I also have some massive gigs coming up at the end of the month so am enjoying the better quality sleep and general benefits of sobriety.
I won’t push into April though.
I have to say so far it’s been a breeze. The main difference: nobody talks about dry January so booze isn’t as much a topic of conversation!
I also have some massive gigs coming up at the end of the month so am enjoying the better quality sleep and general benefits of sobriety.
I won’t push into April though.
This thread motivated me to extend my usual (well 3rd) dry January and I am at just over 70 days now. I have set myself a target of 100 days (I know, I know) but didn't commit to that until the last week.
I read the Alan Carr book and it really made me think. I don't have plans to stop completely, but I am really considering my relationship with alcohol and am determined to alter my habits - I'm currently reading Atomic Habits.
I have found it easier than I expected and putting a dot in the boxes on the fridge to mark progress every few days is quite satisfying.
I have saved probably £400 or so by this point, so well worth it for that alone. I have also lost about half a stone, but was expecting my sleep to improve, but it hasn't, if anything I am waking up much earlier and then not getting back to sleep.
This thread has been an inspiration, thank you to all participants sharing your stories and successes or otherwise, I feel enlightened and positive about my future approach to alcohol.
I read the Alan Carr book and it really made me think. I don't have plans to stop completely, but I am really considering my relationship with alcohol and am determined to alter my habits - I'm currently reading Atomic Habits.
I have found it easier than I expected and putting a dot in the boxes on the fridge to mark progress every few days is quite satisfying.
I have saved probably £400 or so by this point, so well worth it for that alone. I have also lost about half a stone, but was expecting my sleep to improve, but it hasn't, if anything I am waking up much earlier and then not getting back to sleep.
This thread has been an inspiration, thank you to all participants sharing your stories and successes or otherwise, I feel enlightened and positive about my future approach to alcohol.
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